Nightingale
by Rhiannon A. Christy
Summary: Who do you lean on when everyone is gone? The Cullens and the Pack are destroyed leaving Paul and Bella alone. Both broken, they must learn to care for each other or die trying. AU from the Newborn War onward. BellaPaul.
1. Preface Bella's POV

Preface: (Bella's POV)

I could feel the bones in my legs grind together as I attempted to stand. I knew it was impossible, both of my shins had been shattered. Even though, I still struggled to move. _She_ was looking at me with absolute glee. I knew what would come next; the stab of _her_ teeth, the burning of _her_ venom, then nothing. Death.

Maybe that would be best, maybe I should welcome it and stop the fighting. I looked to my left at the fire there, great curls of sickly sweet purple smoke rose up through the air. It was all that remained of my Love. Edward.

The plan was suppose to be foolproof. The rest of the Cullens and the Pack would take the Newborn army, easily getting rid of them while Edward, Seth and myself hid out far enough away. We were suppose to be safe, simply keeping an eye on the battle through Seth. Poor Seth.

He was so young, so eager to join in and destroy a few leeches. He should have stayed home with Collin and Brady.

I cringed when I heard the wet sound of flesh tearing. He really stood no chance, Riley had busted his hips and hind legs before shattering his spine. The pain must have been too much for him, because he phased back to his human body. The screams I am sure could be heard for miles, though they did not last long. Riley had snapped his neck before he had a chance to even try phasing back.

Seth's death had been just enough of a distraction for Edward to allow Victoria to gain the upper hand. I watched while Riley held me down, his arms applying just enough pressure to break several of my ribs, as Victoria removed first Edward's arms. I had tried to shut my eyes after that, but I couldn't look away from him. His eyes had been fixed on mine till the end, his mouth whispering the words '_I love you.'_ before his head when flying past me.

Now here I remained, desperately crawling across the ground trying to get away from the two vampires before me. I knew I should just give up, Edward was dead and I wanted to join him. I just couldn't yet. My revelation earlier about Jake prevented me from giving in to that desire until I knew he was safe. Then and only then would I die.

"You know, I have thought of many ways to kill you. Most of them involved draining you, James was right in wanting you. You smell so sweet, I can just imagine what you would taste like." I couldn't help the flinch in my shoulders as she spoke, it was like nails on a chalkboard at the moment.

"Seeing you here before me cowering like the filth you are gives me a much better idea. What better justice than leaving you here on the brink of death while you watch your lover burn. No one will come for you, even if they did once I am done with you they would be too late. Riley!" I closed my eyes, a single tear running down my cheek as I stopped moving. The only thing I could do was endure the pain, it would be over soon and I could be with Edward again.

I didn't even hear them move before the pain started.

"_Edward…."_

_

* * *

_

{Author's Note: Ok, so as I have all these ideas in my head for Twilight, all involving different Twilight guys I have decided I will do a story for almost each of the guys. Most all of them will be a Bella pairing as I really do love her. So far I have Jacob, Jasper, Paul, and Maybe Aro, but I am still figuring out if the story will work.

If you have a character you would like to see a story for go ahead and say, I might have him on my list already, but sometimes it helps my Muse if she knows others want it too.

I thought of this idea about two months before Eclipse came out in theaters, after watching it it really just cemented this story in my head.

Again just like with _Flying Cowboys_, this will not be a very upbeat story. Then again for anyone who may be familiar with my stories know that I love drama. So here and now I will warn you, you may need to invest in a few boxes of Kleenex if you decide to read this.

Now if you are still with me then YAY (does happy dance) ahem yeah. Anyway, a few bits of info on this story.

**NO** this will not be an Imprint story, I do love those but that is not what I am going for.

**NO** there will be no Edward bashing, I love Edward but am Team Switzerland.

**NO** there will not be any lemons, while I find nothing wrong with them and love reading well written ones I just do not write them. This story will be rated M for violence and language, as I actually do have a mouth on me. And I figure so does Paul.

**NO** I most likely will not update all that regularly, I do not have net at home anymore and will not most likely for a very long time, so I have to update at the library.

**NO** this story is not done yet, though I do have it all planned out to the final scene actually. But I am not only writing on this. I am working on several other Twific, Labbys, as well as many originals which include a set of nine novels I have been working on for nine years now. And I spend most of my time on those novels, those are my babies!

And finally, **NO** I do not have a Beta, as I update from the library it is rather hard for me to be able to talk to someone who would do it for me. Though I do look over these chapters as best as I can and when able friends and family will look it over for me.

**Disclaimer:** Nope don't own Twilight, if I did I can tell you, you would hate me. Jacob would have died during the Newborn Battle, Edward would have kicked the bucket along with several members of the Cullen family and Pack…..oh and Bella would have been left to suffer before offing herself…..did I ever mention that my friends and family call me evil and they tend to try and hurt me after reading my books?}


	2. My Brothers, My Responsibility

Chapter One: My Brothers, My Responsibility (Paul's POV)

My nose burned with the heavy smoke in the air, sickly sweet and nauseating, but I still remained. I had phased back human over an hour ago, my strangely empty mind disturbing. I shook my head, I couldn't think of that now, not now.

My bare skin leaned across the tree I was hiding behind. I watched as the strange black cloaked vampires tossed the last of the dismembered Newborns in the fire. It was suppose to go smoothly, divide and conquer and back home for dinner at Emily's. How was I suppose to tell her… NO! I took a deep breath in, regretting it immediately.

The Scarred one had seriously underestimated the skill of these Newborns. I watched, whether by my own eyes or the pack mind, as each of the Cullens were torn apart. First came the mate to the head vamp, the eternal mother. All it took was a moment, she had confronted one of the Newborns, a girl who couldn't have even been twenty when she was human. In that one moment another came up behind her and took her head.

Her mate went next, bent on revenge, the oldest Cullen went after the one who killed his wife only to loose his head when two other joined the young Newborn that had stopped her in the first place. I do not know what happened after that, only that the big one and his mate had been angered by this and in trying to kill as many Newborns as they could ended up in the fire before my eyes.

The little one was next, she moved like a dancer out on the field, but in the end she lost. Her mate, the Scarred one was last, he had gone into a rage at the loss of his wife. I may not like the leeches too much, but I will forever respect that one as a true warrior. He took down as many as he could before he too fell. That was when these others came.

Methodically they worked through the Newborns, tearing them apart and tossing them into the fires. I watched as their cold red eyes scanned the area before leaving. I waited until I was sure they were far enough away before I walked out to the field. They may have been leeches, but the Cullens fought hard and deserved at least a proper end.

Sure I was hotheaded and stubborn, but I did have a heart. I just learned long ago to harden it, that was the only thing keeping me from breaking down like a child. After whispering a prayer into the winds I turned and headed back to where the remains of my Pack resided.

I tried not to look at their bodies as I covered them with what was left of their clothes, many of them had phased back when the pain had gotten too much. My foot hit against something and I looked down before I could stop myself.

There on the ground, spread out for all to see was Leah. Her spine had been shattered and her neck broken, her spinal cord most likely torn in two. Her left arm was stretched out beside her, her hand resting on the bloody chest of our Alpha, Sam. I shot my eyes up from what remained of his stomach to his face. It was turned towards Leah, his eyes still open. Fighting the bile that rose into my throat I covered them the best I could, and shut his eyes. This I wouldn't tell Emily.

Jared, Embry, Quil, and then Jacob. He had fought the hardest. We had all seen what he had said to Bella before he returned for the battle. Sure he had been trying to get her to tell him to kiss him, but we all knew part of him meant it. He loved her and we knew it would tear him apart should she choose the bloodsucker. That was not the first time he had thought of dying. He may have seemed confident to others in his ability to win over the girl, but he worried almost twentyfour-seven about loosing her and her choice to be changed.

Sam had threatened to use his Alpha voice to command Jacob against killing himself. We all worried what would happen if he didn't win. Guess it didn't matter now. Jake was propped up against a tree, his hand clutching at something he had obviously managed to pull from his pocket before he died.

I kneeled down to cover him when I realized what it was. Two locks of hair, braided and bound together with two pieces of leather. I recognized one, ink black but faded from years handling. Billy had given it to him when he was a child, and Jake carried it everywhere with him. A lock of his mother's hair, taken when she had been pregnant with him. The other took me a moment, it was dark brown with the slightest of red that would have glittered in the sun. _Bella._

He must have cut it from her hair when she was sleeping, I couldn't see her giving him something with that much romantic meaning. At least not before all this happened. I carefully removed them from his hands, careful not to crush them. Billy would want his late wife's hair at least.

I nodded to Jacob's cooling form, if it hadn't been for him I would have been dead. He had shielded me while yelling for me to go and find Seth and Bella.

Oh God, Seth. It was what had started the beginning of the end for my brothers and sister. Seth was not only keeping tabs on the battle for Bella and her leech, but also keeping us informed of their wellbeing for the pack. Jacob had gone wild when he had heard the red-headed leech in Seth's mind. For awhile it seemed like the mind reader and Seth were going to hold their own and tear apart the red-head and her lovesick follower. That was until we heard the screams of Seth before his mind went blank. We couldn't tell if he phased back or was dead, but it was enough of a distraction to allow the remaining Newborns to strike.

I had ran, unwillingly, hoping to find our young brother only hurt and healing, getting ready to phase back into his wolf. I hadn't made it far before I came upon the loosing battle with the Cullens. Giving one last prayer for my brothers and sister I turned and left. I had to find out what happened to Seth.

The trek took longer than it could have as I refused to phase. I knew back home Collin and Brady were most likely frantic wandering what happened, Emily, Kim, Billy….I couldn't allow them to know yet. Not yet, not until I knew if Seth was alright and could return back home and tell them myself.

The closer I got the tighter my stomach got, I could smell burning leech and the thick scent of fresh blood. There were only two beating hearts where I was going, only two with blood running through their veins. I smelled them both.

I finally lost the battle with my grief as I came upon what remained of young Seth. What had those leeches done to him? I fell to my knees, my hands resting in the puddle of blood in front of me. I heaved until there was nothing left in me. But still my stomach contracted, trying to expel whatever it could. Hot tears slipped down my cheeks to mix with the blood and sick on the ground, but I ignored them.

They were all gone, I would have wished death on myself had I not thought of the two youngest still at home. There were only three of us left.

When there were no more tears left in me I stood up, though uneasily. I scanned over the area, the red-head and her follower were nowhere to be seen. It seems the mind reader lost, I could see the smoke from the fire they had thrown him in. There beside it lying prone on the ground was the girl that was the cause of this all.

Anger grew within me like I had never felt, an anger that surpassed any that my wolf form could handle. It was her fault, her fault that the pack were all dead, her fault that the Cullens were gone, her fault that this happened to Seth. Her fault that I was alone. I had never hated anyone as much as I did at that moment. I wished that she were still alive so I could rip her apart myself. Let her know my anger and pain. It was all her fault!

My hand clenched, the leather on the locks of hair in my hand cutting into my fist. I looked down at the two. Both of them symbols of two very different kinds of love, both regarded highly in the heart of the same man. I could hate the girl if I wanted. I could leave her body there to rot. Spit on her and curse her, but I wouldn't.

Jake loved this woman with an intensity that could rival an imprint. He had died for her. He was my brother, even if not by blood. He had saved my life and I owed him. For him I would return her body to her father where she could have a proper funeral.

The closer I got to her I began to hear the faint sounds of a heartbeat. How? I kneeled down beside her and looked her over. She was still alive, but just barely. Her legs had been broken, bones protruding from the flesh of her thighs. Hair had been ripped from her head leavings a few bald patches. She looked like someone had clawed at her face, blood covered her entire body. Her clothes were almost nonexistent. I looked over her expecting to find bite marks, but only found the cold crescent she already had.

Soft gurgling came from the girl as she tried to breathe. Carefully I turned her head to the side and opened her mouth, allowing the blood to trickle out. When I turned her back over to look in her mouth I wasn't surprised to find she had bitten into her tongue. The two leeches must have tortured her.

I tore off a piece of her clothes that had remained clean and began to wipe around her mouth and eyes. She never woke, and I found myself glad. I couldn't imagine the amount of pain she must be in. Careful not to injure her further I picked her up and began my trek back home. I just hoped she wouldn't die on me.

* * *

As soon as I got across the border Collin and Brady came running over, still in their wolf form. They flanked my sides after they saw me. I could hear them whimpering and knew they had figured out we lost already. I didn't talk as we walked. I wasn't sure where I was going. No one would be waiting for me at my house, Billy's wasn't an option. I wasn't sure when Charlie was going to go home and didn't want to walk in completely naked caring his barely alive daughter. He was sure to have a heart attack right after he tried to shoot me. Sam's would be the best choice, Emily was a caring woman and she rather liked Bella.

The closer I got to the house I realized this wasn't the best of ideas. Emily sat on her porch with Kim and Sue. They looked tired. I knew the moment they saw the four of us. Emily shot up out of her chair and rushed forward meeting us halfway to the front door. She looked like she wanted to take Bella from me until she saw what condition she was in. Silently she led me into the house. I turned back at the last moment and spoke to the two young ones.

"Phase back and go get Billy and Old Quil, say nothing and whatever you do, do not allow Charlie Swan to come. Tell Billy he can't go home yet, but he can't come here. Go!" With a nod each they phased back, pulled on their shorts and ran as fast as they could. This was going to be hard, but I was the only one left to do it.

By the time I entered the house Emily had already covered the couch with several sheets and was waiting for me with a huge bowl of water and a handful of rags. I carefully set Bella down and set about to help Emily cut away what was left of her clothes.

The fact that the girl in front of me was now completely naked, or that I was myself didn't phase me in the slightest. At the moment my only worry was that if we didn't worry she would die. I couldn't let that happen, she had to live, for Jacob.

We washed her the best we could, bound up what could be bound up, and covered her in a thin white sheet that was almost instantly covered in dark blood. The front door slammed open just before Old Quill came in pushing Billy in his wheelchair, followed by Collin and Brady. Sue and Kim were already inside, leaning against the wall. Though in my desperation I hadn't noticed them.

"Paul? W-where are the rest of the pack? The Cullens?" My throat seemed to be swollen shut, I couldn't speak. I dropped my head, shaking it slightly. Three resounding screams filled the room as Emily, Sue and Kim realized that their loved ones were dead. A choked sob came from Billy and even Old Quil was wiping tears from his cheeks.

A soft thud came from beside me as Emily fell to her knees. I looked down at her, she had loved Sam with her whole heart and now she was alone. My eyes scanned the room. Billy was trying his best to contain his sobs as the twins encircled him and Old Quil in their arms. Sue and Kim held onto each other like without the other they would fall.

Slowly I dropped down beside Emily and took her into my arms as she cried. These people around me had lost so much, not just a son, grandson, children, lovers, but an entire family. The eight of us were all that remained of a once huge and loving family.

Billy was the first to calm down enough to speak. His voice was rough from crying, like he had scratched his throat with sandpaper.

"Paul, I think you should find you some clothes and then you came come back here and tell us what happened." I nodded and let go of the woman in my arms. She stopped me with a soft hand on my forarm.

"Y-you can have one of Sam's. You know where they are." I smiled softly at her before rushing out of the room and dressing.

By time I returned every eye had been wiped dry. Old Quil, the twins, and Billy were all seated around the couch quietly talking to Emily who returned to her care of Bella. Sue and Kim had moved to the kitchen and it looked like they were preparing something to drink for the rest of us.

I sat down beside Emily and continued to help her. Many of the girl's bandages needed to be changed already. If we didn't get her to a doctor soon she might never even walk again. I mentioned this and Billy smiled gravely to me, responding that they already made a call. The same doctor that took care of the pack whenever needed would be by very soon.

"What happened Paul? I knew there was a chance, but everyone?" I took a deep breath, preparing myself. It took awhile and I had to stop many times before I was able to finish, but once I did I felt that same sickness and anger come over me. I looked over at Bella and reminded myself that this was for Jacob, was doing this for him.

Silence followed my recounting, only to be broken when the doctor knocked on the door. I stood knowing I would be unable to stand what was about to happen. I gave each of the others a weak smile before turning a muttering,

"I am going home, I'm too tired. I will be back sometime tomorrow. Just…don't let her die. Jake wouldn't want that."

* * *

That evening I stood at my window looking out at the sky. I had taken five showers already, but I still felt like I was covered in blood, dirt and sick. I had had time to think since I returned home, and I wasn't comfortable with what I found. The redheaded leech was still out there with her little follower. Her army might have been disposed of by those cloaked vamps, but she could just as easily create a new army. She had left Bella there to die, but she might check back later to make sure. What would happen when she realized the girl was gone?

I walked all the way back to the rez on foot, she could easily track the both of us back here. It wouldn't be such a problem if the rest of the pack were alive, but there were only three of us now. And Collin and Brady were still so young and mostly untrained. That was the reason we left them behind.

She could easily get past us to Bella. Worse even she may take it out on us. I was suppose to be a protector of my people. How good was I if I led danger right to our doorstep.

Bella needed to go, but I couldn't just leave her. She was loved by Jacob. He wouldn't have wanted her to die. He was my brother, I would protect her for him. Just as I would protect my people. I knew what I had to do, the others may not agree, but they could not change my mind.

Tomorrow, once I knew Bella was well enough I would start to prepare. The sooner the better.

* * *

_Chapter two preveiw:_

"_This is the only way I know how to protect both her and our people. If Jacob were here I know he would do the same. I will not let him down, and we will be back as soon as I figure out a way to kill that leech." He nodded his head slowly. I hesitated a moment before I handed him the two locks of hair._

"_For Jacob." _

(Author's Note: I told you it wouldn't be a happy story….I even cried as I wrote the bit about Leah and Sam. I hate when I do that. Anyway, some of you may not like how I write Paul, but I want show a different side of him than the always angry wolf. Yeah he is still hotheaded and quick to anger, but he does have a heart.

There will be a romance between Paul and Bella, but it will not be quick building. I mean for Bella she just lost both of her loves, Edward and Jacob, and her vampire family. For Paul he lost his pack, his brothers and sister, and he absolutely hates Bella at the moment, blames her for everything. So no they will not all of a sudden decide that they are madly in love with each other and have it off like a couple of randy rabid rabbits. (Do not ask, it is like 12:30 in the morning and I'm tired, hehe…though it is fun to say, repeat after me kids….randy rabid rabbits, now say it three times fast…good!) Also I think it will take a rather good amount of time before Bella is up to anything, Victoria and Riley did a quite good number on her.

Also because she will most likely be out of it for awhile the next few chapters will most likely all be in Paul's POV, though I might do one in Billy or Charlie's. Not sure yet.

**Disclaimer:** Yeah do not own it, If I did I wouldn't be living in this blot on the map instead I would be back in Texas in a house surrounded by pine trees. Gah I miss Texas!)


	3. Your Presence Still Lingers Here

Chapter Two: Your Presence Still Lingers Here; (Paul's POV)

* * *

It had been a week since hell came into my life. Bella was finally stable, the doctor declaring that she would live. I couldn't believe how relieved I was when I heard that. Though I knew that this was just the beginning. I hadn't voiced my concerns to anyone yet. I knew they would not go over well.

Bella stirred on the couch beside me. Her father had not taken things well. We all knew that we really couldn't tell him the truth, though that choice was taken from us when Collin had come running out from the woods beside Billy's completely nude.

Charlie had started to reprimand the pup when Sue had to pull him out of the way. Collin hated being scolded.

He spent most of his time now at Emily's. Watching over his daughter. I heard him praying more than once. I knew her death would most likely kill him.

I could hear the squeaking of Billy's chair as he entered the room. He was the only one that I thought I had any chance of convincing.

"How is she?" His voice was dead anymore. Jacob, his only son was dead. Something he knew could happen, but never really believed would.

"The same I guess. She started to speak in her sleep earlier. Charlie said that was normal for her, so I guess that is a good thing. The doctor was by this morning. Said that she was healing nicely, but she might end up in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.

"Her legs were damaged pretty badly. She _might_ be able to walk, just with a limp. It is just that..." I hung my head. We all knew she would not wake up unchanged, these were only the physical changes. I really didn't want to think about the mental or emotional.

Billy just smiled weakly and nodded for me to follow him outside. As soon as we stepped out onto the porch I began to pace. I knew this had to be done. They were not safe with her here, she was not safe here. I steeled myself and turned to look at Billy.

"We need to leave." He just stared at me, no emotion showed on his face. After what seemed like hours he finally spoke.

"No. We can't do that to Charlie. She will be safe here. Plus she can't even move, what do you plan on doing? Flinging her over your shoulder and carrying her everywhere?" His voice was hard. I understood, really I did. Bella was the only link he had left to Jake, and she was his best friend's daughter. Practically his as well.

"If I have to, yes. Look Billy, no one is safe if she remains here. That leech will know sooner or later that she is alive, and then what? She will be able to smell us, she already knows her way here. Collin, Brady and I are not enough to protect Bella and the Reservation if she decides to create another army.

"It is my duty as a protector of my people to ensure no danger comes to them. I brought it right to our doorstep by bringing her here." He took a deep breath, holding it a moment before letting it out slowly.

"Why did you do it then? I know you hate Bella, so why did you bring her here if you felt that way?" I reached my hand into my pocket, my fingers curling around the two locks of hair I had been holding onto for the past week.

"Jacob was my brother and he loved Bella. I do this to honor him. Listen I am not saying we should dump her on the other side of the border and hope for the best. I will go with her and make sure the leech catches a whiff of Bella's scent leaving." His eyes looked down from my face to stare at his hands. He knew what I said was true.

"This is the only way I know how to protect both her and our people. If Jacob were here I know he would do the same. I will not let him down, and we will be back as soon as I figure out a way to kill that leech." he nodded his head slowly. I hesitated a moment before I handed him the two locks of hair.

"For Jacob." With that I walked back into the house. I needed to hurry. A week was already pushing it, we needed to leave.

* * *

I looked out over the water below me. It would be so easy. To just end it all. This thought has been running around in my head for the past week. I knew I could do it, I knew I wouldn't even mind the pain. Just finish what the damned leech started.

Taking a deep breath in I held it, feeling the burn of the sea salt prick at my lungs and throat. I could do it, but I wouldn't. I wasn't a coward, never have been.

The crashing of the waves pull memories from my mind. The Pack had been the only family I really have ever known. The only ones to accept me for who I am. I had thought I had finally found my place in this fucked up world. Now what? I was alone again, and to protect the reservation I will exile myself even more.

I really want to hate Bella. I want to be able to dump her body somewhere in Forks without any guilt. I want to be able to tear her apart, bit by bit and her screams and pleas have no effect on me. I really want to, but I'm not that heartless.

Nightmares have plagued my nights. At first they were memories of the battle. Quil and Embry attacked and falling to the ground with no sound. The scene of Sam and Leah, love for each other shining through even in death. Then they changed. I wish they hadn't.

They started with Bella, her eyes bright red and blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. At her feet would be her father, Billy, Sue, Emily, and on and on till everyone on the rez had been drained. I would wake up before it went any further. Soon I started seeing myself in my wolf form in the dreams. I would lunge at her starting to tear her part. It has just been the past three days that have gotten to the point where I don't want to sleep.

I would get to the part where I was tearing her apart and she would start screaming. At first I thought nothing of her cries till I tasted blood in my mouth. I would look down and there she lay, completely human. Dead, her eyes lifeless as they stared back up at me in horror.

When I woke up I could still hear those screams. Her pleas for me to stop, that she had done nothing wrong. I couldn't take them anymore. I couldn't hate her without hating myself for it. Not that it stopped me.

I allowed my eyes to close. The wind whipped around me, the sound like the whispers of my lost pack. I could hear Sam as he gave out his orders. Quil and Embry as they joked around. Jacob and Seth's laughter while Jared asked what was so funny. And Leah's cries from when she thought no one was around to hear. I had been, but I knew she wouldn't have welcomed any comfort.

My eyes shot open. Maybe it was a good thing that I was leaving. They were everywhere here. Their scent was in the air, their faces in those of everyone on the reservation. Their voices in the wind. At least they were at peace now.

I lifted my head to the sky and let out a scream. One that rattled my ribs and forced me to my knees. I was alone, truly alone.

* * *

Everything was finally ready as the sun slowly set beneath the trees. I hadn't told anyone else yet, though I knew that Emily suspected something. She had been in the kitchen all day.

I kneeled down beside Bella. Her skin was wet from her sweat and caused her hair to stick to the sides of her face. Without realizing what I was doing I brought my hand out in front of me and smoothed away the strands that had plastered themselves around her mouth. She gave a soft sigh in her sleep and whispered so quietly I knew I only heard it because of my enhanced hearing.

"Jacob…" That one quiet word held so much emotion I was glad I was already on the floor. The presence of the pack even lingered here in that small girl.

"Take care of her Paul. I know you don't like her, but she is going to need you." My eyes lifted up to meet our once pack mother. She was smiling in the sweetly sad way of hers. I could see the pain of the loss of Sam in her face.

"Emily, I…" She waved her hand at me to quiet my words. I just sat there and waited till she gathered her thoughts enough to continue.

"I am not stupid Paul. I know what you are going to do. In fact I have known almost since you brought her back here.

"Billy may not understand, and I know for sure that it is going to hurt Charlie, but I do. Remember I was the Alpha's mate. I may have not been a wolf, but Sam made sure I would think like one." Tears gathered in her eyes as she talked about her Sam. I wished I could have brought him back just to take that pain from her. Wished I could trade my life for his, for any of the pack members.

"This battle is not over. That vampire will be back for her, and while I do not doubt you are the boys I know if she builds another army you three will be inefficient in protecting us. The only way you can do that is to lead her away, and that means taking Bella with you." She came closer and smoothed her hand down the younger girl's head. She would have been a wonderful mother. The children her and Sam would have borne would have been so loved.

"If I could figure another way I would have done it. Charlie is going to try and follow…" She shook her head and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Let me take care of Charlie. He is new to this world and does not yet understand that sometimes sacrifices must be made.

"What you need to focus on is protecting Bella and getting rid of that vampire so you both can come home." I could feel tears try to push their way from beneath my lids, so I turned my face away. Had I not cried enough in front of this woman?

"And where is that?" I could feel her fingers run through my hair. ever so slightly they tightened and forced me to turn and look at her. Her face was only inches from my own.

"Here Paul. For both of you. When you get back I plan on both of you staying here. This is home, this is your family. We are broken yes, but not destroyed. We will rebuild." With that she placed a soft kiss atop my head and let go to return to the kitchen. I followed at a slower pace.

"How?" With a sad sigh she set her hand to her stomach and I swear I almost lost my footing and feel flat on my face.

"D-did Sam know?" She nodded quickly and turned to place something into a basket.

"Now, I wasn't sure how long you would be gone and I know this is not nearly enough, but it should last you a good while." I realized that she had been packing food in baskets. Meats and breads, mostly things that would last awhile. I didn't know what to say so I just stood there as she finished up. She spoke without even looking back at me.

"I have packed a couple of bags up in my room. Clothes for the both of you and plenty of meds for Bella. I have included all the instructions, and remember you have to follow through with all of them. She will not be awake for awhile and so you will have to do a few rather private things for her until she is.

"Now go and get this all in your truck while I get Bella ready. Billy is stalling Charlie over at his house, but you know it will not last long before he wants to see his daughter. You'll want to be gone before then." You could see why she was the Alpha's imprint. She was always so well put together, always had everything organized. I left silently with several baskets of food.

* * *

By the time that I had finished packing the truck Emily had washed, redressed, and bundled up Bella. I now held her in my arms as carefully as I could. Her legs were still in casts, and she was covered almost head to toe with bandages.

Emily listened carefully as I told her what needed to be done to ensure the leech caught Bella's scent leaving the reservation. Collin and Brady had shown up a few minutes before, both proclaiming they were coming with us.

For the first time I felt something rise in me that demanded attention. It shocked me momentarily when my command to the two came out with the same severe timbre that Sam always used. I hadn't really realized that with both Sam and Jacob gone that basically I was the Alpha.

They looked crestfallen until I explained the importance of them protecting the rez. They had puffed out their chests teasingly saluted me.

The pups had just left to patrol leaving me standing there next to Emily. She placed one hand on my shoulder and the other on Bella's head.

"Take care of her Paul, really for awhile you are going to be all she has. You need to be there for her, and let her be there for you. Now go, Charlie will be over soon. I love you, both of you." She kissed both of our foreheads before taking back off to her house. I just hoped she would be able to keep Charlie from doing anything stupid.

I laid Bella down in the bed of my truck. It wasn't ideal, but she could hardly sit up in the cab in her condition. I had set out several thick quilts and pillows to create a sort of cradle. After making sure she was covered and protected I climbed into the cab and headed off.

I would drive until I was a good few hours outside of La Push then I would dump the truck. I wasn't sure what to do after that, but I would figure something out. I had to.

* * *

_Chapter Three Preview;_

_I carefully maneuvered my truck at the end of the parking lot, as far away from the Omega as possible. Reaching over to the bag beside me I rummaged through it in search of both the paper Emily had written everything on for me as well as the bottles of pills. I finally grasped them only to notice the owner of the other car walking over. What was with people? It was almost midnight, I was NOT up to conversation with random people._

_The owner appeared to be at least thirty five, if not a year or two older. His hair was a dirty blonde, and hung just below his ears. I couldn't see his eyes as he had his head directed down to the ground. He walked rather gracefully, side stepping holes in the pavement. _

(Author's Note: Yay! Got another one done, and believe it or not a pretty good amount finished on chapter three as well. I am just loving this story.

Now as I've said it has been a long while since I have written a full length story in first person. So I am still working out how to play this story out. This will mostly be in Paul and Bella's pov, but I was wondering if I should write other POVs, such as Charlie, Billy and Emily. And if I do whether to have them part of this story or post them as oneshots. I wouldn't mind anyone's imput, it would help greatly to know what would help the readers understand this story better.

Also I am iffy about doing a Victoria pov, if I do that WILL most likely be a oneshot.

Ok, I am going on vacay next week and will be gone for awhile, but I just bought a new notebook so I will try to update while I am at the hotel as long as I have time to actually write. Hopefully I will.

**Disclaimer:** Nope don't own.)


	4. Safe Inside Myself

Chapter Three: Safe Inside Myself

(Paul's POV);

* * *

I had been driving for three hours almost straight. I would pull over every now and then to check on Bella. The clock on the dash flashed as the hour changed, it was time for her next dose of medication. Luckily there was a rest stop just ahead. I just hoped that with it being this late that the place would be empty. I really did not feel like dealing with nosy people.

A curse slipped through my lips as I pulled onto the small drive that lead to the stone building. There was a least one car there. An old beat up Omega. Damn good cars, though I was still surprised it was still running.

I carefully maneuvered my truck at the end of the parking lot, as far away from the Omega as possible. Reaching over to the bag beside me I rummaged through it in search of both the paper Emily had written everything on for me as well as the bottles of pills. I finally grasped them only to notice the owner of the other car walking over. What was with people? It was almost midnight, I was NOT up to conversation with random people.

The owner appeared to be at least thirty five, if not a year or two older. His hair was a dirty blonde, and hung just below his ears. I couldn't see his eyes as he had his head directed down to the ground. He walked rather gracefully, side stepping holes in the pavement.

I shook myself and glanced down at the paper. I needn't worry, no matter who this fool was he posed no threat to me. I looked back over to find him a few feet from the bed of my truck. Shit, he seemed to be looking directly at Bella.

I grabbed the bottles of medication I would need and stepped from the cab. The look on the guys face was priceless. I was sure he wasn't expecting an almost seven foot tall native man that looked like he could rip trees in half.

He took a step back before gathering his courage and extending his arm. I just glared at it, trying very hard to control the shaking in my body. This guy screamed danger. His clothes were ripped and stained with what looked like dried blood and…I really didn't want to know what that was on the legs of his pants.

He smelled like piss and cheap whisky, and blood. My body was getting harder to control as my wolf seemed to want to phase. I had a feeling what this man had already done. It was in the air all around him, the stench of death.

I looked over to his car and back to him. It had been awhile, maybe a day or two. The blood was stale and already flaking off of his skin. I didn't know him, his name or what had driven him to do what he did. Only that he posed a threat to Bella. I may have hated her, but she was loved by Jacob therefore she was part of the pack. My pack.

At that moment Bella moaned. Her pain medication was most likely wearing off by now. The man inched his hand back down to his side. I saw the glint of the blade as he pulled it slowly from the back of his pants. I could smell his excitement as Bella moaned again and gave a soft cry.

I could no longer control myself and knew I had to make a choice. Before he could fully unsheathe his weapon I spoke.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Not unless you want a broken neck." He seemed to hesitate for a moment. I growled low in my chest, an inhuman sound that startled the man. It wasn't until I took a step forward and allowed my body to shake till I almost blurred that he took his hand off the blade and nodded.

"Hey man, no harm done." He held his hands up as he backed his way to his car. I kept a close eye on him as I gathered Bella in my arms. I spilled a handful of pills into my hand and forced Bella to open her mouth.

For the past few days I had been watching Emily dose her, so I followed her example and placed the pill at the back of her throat and forced it down by pressing down along the inside of her neck. She began to cough as I got to the third pill. I opened a bottle of water and poured about a tablespoon full into her mouth and coaxed her to drink it.

"Come on Bella, only two more." I whispered softly to her, keeping my voice low so the man across the parking lot could not hear. He was still leaning against the car, his hands up where I could see them. I still didn't trust him, but I couldn't do anything about it.

After I finished I laid Bella back down and covered her up again. I knew I really should wait awhile before leaving, but I needed to get away from that man. Keeping him in my sight I climbed into the cab and started it up.

Once I was a good distance away I heard a tortured scream. Somehow I knew the leech had just made her first move.

* * *

I looked into my rearview mirror for what had to be the hundredth time. I knew a week had been pushing it. It had given her time to not only discover the absence of Bella's body, but also gather herself for another attack.

I really don't know what obsession leeches have with turning everything into a fucking game, but it was really beginning to rub my fur the wrong way. At least I stood a pretty good chance on my own if she just came at us. I was running blind at the moment. I have never been all that good when it came to games, I was always the first killed off. Which I must say doesn't look good for Bella or myself at the moment.

A look at the gas meter forced a groan from me. We would need gas soon, but I wasn't about to leave Bella out when the leech was already onto us.

Shit, I should have left during the day. It was around four in the morning now, everyone would be safely locked inside their houses. I needed somewhere open, somewhere with lots of people where a damned vampire would be unable to sneak around.

I was getting tired, but I knew I couldn't sleep until we were somewhere safe. Finally I notice a turn off into a city. By now I'm running on fumes.

The city is brightly lit, thankfully a larger city with a twentyfour hour-seven day a week community. I pulled into the largest gas station I could find. I filled the tank and after making sure that Bella could not be seen, went inside.

Gas paid for I made my way back to the truck. I was relived when I pulled back the blanket to find Bella still asleep. I would have to find a hotel, preferably one out in the open.

* * *

_Jake stood only two yards from me. He was shaking and trying to control himself from phasing. He was covered in blood, his hair dripping with it. He looked over to me, a malicious smile on his face. I staggered back as I looked into his crimson eyes. They were cold and hard, pure evil. _

_He advanced on me, meeting me step for step as I moved myself back never taking my eyes off of him. I hadn't gotten a few feet when I crashed into something behind me. I looked back to find Sam._

_He wasn't looking at me, he was looking down at the figure in his arms. Leah. She was obviously dead, her head thrown back over Sam's arm. She was completely nude, gashes covering her entire body. He looked so heartbroken. I knew he had truly loved Leah, but had I known just how much?_

_Breath washed over my shoulders. It was both hot and cold, like when someone breathes out with a chunk of ice in their mouth. I really didn't want to look behind me, I knew what I would find._

_A soft hand slid up my arm and up to cup my chin. I turned towards the owner. Emily stood looking at me with tears in her eyes. Her hand was resting against the full swell of her belly, her eyes shifting not towards Sam as I thought but back to Jake's unnerving presence behind me._

_I could no longer stop myself from looking at my dead pack brother. He looked still as evil as he had a moment ago, only now he also looked frightened. I expected him to try and rip me to shreds, but he only hung his head._

_When he lifted it back up I swore I saw anger pass through his now brown eyes. He started screaming and fell to the ground. Blood started pooling around us and I soon realized that Jacob had been injured. I kneeled beside him and tried to stop the bleeding. More and more just flowed until my shorts were completely soaked with it._

_I felt something forced into my hand just as Jake lost the battle. I looked down to find a lock of Bella's hair, now half covered in his blood._

* * *

I sat up in bed, taking a moment to look around. The room was small, but it served our purpose. I had been glad to find a hotel just a few streets down from the gas station. The price hadn't been too bad, though there was only one bed.

I looked down beside me to find Bella sleeping, though not soundly. She made soft murmurs and tossed her head back and forth slowly. She had been talking in her sleep more lately, a good sign though I knew it would still be some time before she actually woke up.

Slipping from the bed I made a once over of the room. So far I hadn't smelled any vampires for at least ten miles outside of the city. I hoped to keep it that way. Giving Bella one last look I headed to take a shower.

The water felt good as it slid down over my skin. Almost like it was cleansing me of my sins, my nightmares.

Nightmares. Tonight was the first night in days that I have not dreamed of Bella directly. I didn't want to think about the images I had just seen. I never believed in dreams meaning anything. Simply random images your mind picked up from whatever had been on your mind that day. It was just the feeling of this one. It wasn't fuzzy or chopped up like a normal dream. It was clear and had the same feeling that the pack mind had.

I shook my head, allowing water and those thoughts to fling away. After I dressed I sat on the edge of the bed and just watched the girl. She hadn't stopped muttering. She only said one word over and over.

"Jacob."

* * *

Bella's POV

_I have never felt such pain. This burning, it was even worse than when James had bitten me. Victoria had done her job well. I knew I was dying, the blackness was all around me and all I knew was this pain. I wish death would hurry._

_The pain remained, dulled at times, but still there. Voices floated in and out. Most I recognized. My father, Billy, Emily. Others were more vague, like I had heard them before but couldn't put a face to them._

_One was the most prominent. It was deep and smooth, but filled with so much sadness. Every time I heard it I wished I could just reach out and comfort them. The voice wasn't always speaking to me, sometimes to others or himself. _

_I wondered if I was going to go insane before death took me. I knew I had to still be on the ground surrounded by Edward's ashes and Seth's body. So why was I hearing these voices?_

_Light filled my vision, was I finally going to be set free? Figures started to appear, I recognized each and every one of them. The Cullens and the Pack. Why were they here? From the group stepped one tall form. Jacob._

_He smiled as he came to engulf me in his arms. He was so warm and comfortable. He just held me, tight and secure. I placed small kisses on his chest as he did the same to the top of my head. I could hear him whispering, but I wasn't paying attention. It took him pulling me a little ways away to get me to listen._

"_Bella, wake up." I just looked at him like he was crazy. I was awake. His smile was sad as he smoothed the hair away from my face. _

"_I love you. Good bye, Bells." he lowered his head bringing his lips to mine. I didn't pull back, instead I pushed forward so my lips crashed against his. This kiss was even more intense than the one he gave me before the battle._

_Oh God, the battle….he couldn't be…they couldn't be. He pulled back and wiped away the tears that had started to fall. _

"_I love you." With those last whispered words he began to fade away. I tried to grab onto his arm, he couldn't go. None of them could, they couldn't be. _

"_Jacob…Jacob!"_

_

* * *

(Author's notes: Got it done, but I'm still a little iffy about this chapter. I debated and debated about doing that bit with the man at the rest stop. So I hope it fit._

Also as I got to the end of this chapter Bella decided that she needed a little bit of a say about what was going on. So I hope that everyone liked the little bit of a peek into her mind. There might be more later.

No preview today as I have yet to start the next chapter, but I will mostly have it by mid next week, so heres hoping!

Disclaimer: Nope don't own it!)


	5. All That We Are Living For, Mini Chapter

Chapter Four: All That Were Living For (Mini Chapter)

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

There are three things that every father fears when it comes to their daughters.

The day when she grows up, the day you are replaced by another man in her life, and anything and anyone hurting them.

I wasn't there for the first, and was forced to watch the second and third. While I may have greatly disliked him, I had hoped after Cullen had returned my Bells wouldn't be hurt any more. How wrong I was.

I remember the stories that Billy used to ramble off whenever he would drink too much. I never held much stock in them, I mean vampires and werewolves? I couldn't tell you how much of a shock it was to watch that young boy explode into a giant wolf. And to think my daughter had been wrapped up in all of this since she moved back here. I was beginning to think a fourth fear needed to be added to that list.

Once Billy had explained everything my first thought had been Bella. I knew she had been hurt, at least that was what Billy had told me just a few hours before. I had thought she had fallen and hurt herself again, I hadn't at the time paid attention to the pain in Billy's voice.

How I wished at the moment I walked into Emily's house that she had stayed with her mother.

I barely recognized my little girl, she was covered in so much blood and bruises. For the next week I refused to leave her side unless I had too. I knew I wasn't the only one that was hurting. Sons, daughters, friends and lovers had been destroyed that day. Knowing that there was nothing I, or any other human could have done made me feel worthless. What good was I, was my job, if things like vampires were out there.

So many unsolved murders. Families left without closure would never get justice for their lost loved ones, because we could never hope to catch supernatural beings.

I sit kneeled in front of Emily's couch, where I have stayed almost constantly for the past week. Only my head rests not beside my daughter's hand. I tried to hold in my tears, but at this moment I did not care about my ego. At the moment I was a father, and fathers are allowed to cry.

She was gone, and I could not follow her. I was human and weak, what could I do to protect her? I have gotten to know Paul in the last few days. I remembered him from years ago, always a trouble maker. Now he looked so lost. It chilled me to see the look of fear on such a large man's face.

Emily had told me what he had done. Taken my little girl away, away from me, away from the medical care she needed. Away.

I hated him. I knew what he was doing. His first priority was the tribe. By allowing Bella to remain on the reservation he put his people in danger from that vampire. I understood this, but as a father I couldn't accept this.

I knew I may never see my child again.

* * *

(Emily's POV)

I stood watching Charlie. He looked so defeated. Like Paul had predicted, he had tried to follow them. It took everything I had to keep him from leaving. He would have only gotten himself killed.

I could see him shaking, the quiet sobs jerking his body as he curled up against my couch. I could no longer stand there and watch. Slowly and quietly, so as not to startle him, I walked over and kneeled beside him and took him into my arms.

He wrapped himself around me, though careful not to hurt me. There we stayed for over an hour, just taking comfort from each other.

"T-thank you, Emily. I am not sure…" I pressed my finger to his mouth. I didn't want to hear thanks or any sort of gratitude. I was selfish, I was alone and pregnant and I wanted the comfort that another could give me. It was all just as much for me as it was for anyone else.

"Don't worry. Come on, I'm sure you're tired. Let's get you to bed." He just nodded and allowed me to lead him up the stairs.

* * *

(Billy's POV)

The false smile that I had plastered on my face while Charlie was here fell the moment he shut the door behind him. I turned my chair around and wheeled myself into Jake's room. The place still smelled like him.

It looked like he had just left that morning, that he would be back in time for dinner. Everything was in its place, his clothes covering the floor, his sheets rumpled. How could it still look like this?

My boy, my baby boy was dead and I wasn't sure what to do. He was so young, so headstrong. He had seemed so indestructible, it seems impossible he could be gone.

I leaned forward till my head rested on top of his bed, my hands digging into the sheets, balling them up. With my face buried I let out a scream before I broke down into uncontrollable sobs. I lost him. I lost my little boy.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok short chapter I know, also I know there was no Bella or Paul, but I thought about it and decided that we needed to see Charlie, Emily, and Billy and how they are coping. Paul and Bella will return next chapter, which will hopefully be longer.

Also I want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, fav'd and watched this story. I do love hearing from all of you and it just makes my day to hear what you all think about Nightingale. And believe me I can always use something to cheer me up. I try to reply to every comment, but of course those who have private messaging blocked and those not logged in I want to say here thank you.

**Disclaimer:** Nope don't own it.


	6. These Wounds Won't Seem To Heal

Chapter Five: These Wounds Won't Seem To Heal

* * *

(Paul's POV)

It has been two days. Two days since we stopped, two days since that leech made her first move. Two days since Bella started to call out for Jake. She hasn't stopped since. I wish she would shut up, I wish I could make her.

My dreams last night were the worst since the battle. Everyone had been killed, I had been totally alone. Oh God I wanted to hate her. I wanted to kill her when I had woken. My hands had been wrapped around her neck, fingers slowly squeezing till her cries for Jacob had become nothing more than squeaks.

I had looked at her then as her breath started to slip away. Her face had once been beautiful, flawless. Now four bright red lines ran from her right temple to just under her left ear. I knew they would heal, but pucker into thick white scars. She would forever be marked with a reminder to what happened.

Sitting here now, my back to her, I knew I would have done it. I would have given up my last shred of humanity and murdered her. If it had not been for the tear that slipped from her eye and touched my fingers at the same time she whispered _"forgive"_ that I would have snuffed out her last breath.

Fuck! What have I become? I have thought about causing harm, even murder before. Never have I acted on it in the manner I had that morning. I might hate her, but to kill her when I had promised to protect her? I was weak, pathetic.

I turned to look at her. My arm reached out on its own accord, my finger running along the thick purple line that had formed across her neck. My stomach churned as my vision blurred. I couldn't believe I had done that.

I didn't even think about it when I fully turned and laid beside her. One arm went over her, pulling her body into mine. I leaned over burying my face in the slope between her neck and shoulder. My lips pressed firmly against her bruised skin, as though my single kiss could remove my mark.

My lips pressed over and over again, the skin getting wetter as my tears fell. I still hated her with all that I was. Hated her and myself, but I knew she didn't deserve what I almost allowed my emotions to do. She was not awake to listen to me, this would have to be my apology.

When my body was spent, my eyes momentarily exhausted of tears, I curled up still clutching at her and fell asleep.

* * *

When my eyes opened again I found my eyes being drawn to the floor just in front of the hotel door. There on the old and stained carpet laid a plain white envelope. I untangled myself from Bella and quickly snatched the letter from the floor. It smelled strongly to leech.

I took a few deep breaths in order to calm my shaking body. It would do no good to phase and destroy the hotel room. The letter was a single sheet of paper, crisp and neatly folded. The only thing that marred the perfect whiteness of it was the words smeared in dried blood.

_Naughty, Naughty doggy,_

_You almost ruined my fun for me. She is mine, remember that Wolfy._

_I'll see you soon Love. Give kisses to the Mrs. For me, would you?_

_V_

Shit! How had that leech been watching us without my notice? If I didn't get my act together we were both dead.

I looked over at Bella who at the moment had her face scrunched up. She was whispering once again. I could make out a few words, mostly Jacob's name, but also others of the pack. But what made my fists clench was the fact that she kept whispering 'forgive' over and over as well. Was she actually begging for forgiveness?

I pushed my anger aside as I felt the note crumple in my hand. I had to get us out of here, and quickly. Though I couldn't smell the leech at the moment didn't mean she wasn't watching and waiting. I was glad that the sun was shining at the moment outside. It would provide us with enough cover to check out and get out on the road. Sure the leech wasn't stupid enough to try something out in the open like this?

I quickly packed up what I had taken from the bags, and after throwing them over my shoulder I wrapped Bella in a blanket and carried her out to the truck. I positioned her in the truck bed and drove to the front of the hotel, making sure to park right in front of the lobby door just encase.

Luckily the woman behind the desk was only too eager to get rid of me so she could continue the rather dirty phone conversation she was having. I was in and out in a matter of minutes and on my way to God knows where.

I checked back on Bella. I really needed to ditch this truck somewhere, and find something more comfortable for her. Shit, I was loosing my mind. I can't seem to make a decision and stick with it. Hate her or care for her.

* * *

_I was surrounded by the pack and the Cullens once again. I kept calling out for them, reaching out to touch them. They would smile and wave back at me, but none of them would come any closer. Tears were running down my cheeks. Why wouldn't they say anything?_

_I called them again, yelling out that I was sorry. That it was all my fault, that I was so, so sorry. To forgive me. They just smiled._

_I looked around at each and everyone of them. Almost everyone was there. _

_Jacob smiled his sunny smile. Embry waved shyly. Quil winked, and Sam and Leah held on to each other as they nodded to me._

_Jared and Seth were playing around like two little boys._

_Edward gave his little half smile. Alice was bouncing up and down while Jasper tried to calm her down. Esme and Carlisle beamed at me with love in their eyes. Rose for once was smiling as Emmett held her tightly to him._

_The scene was so serene, but there were three faces missing. Paul and the young twins. And as I continued to call out to the group I found herself glad to not see them. There was only one reason they were not here. And I was happy._

* * *

(Author's note; First sorry for the short chappie. this chapter has been giving me problems for awhile now, it didn't want to be written.

also sorry for the late update. We went on vacay ro Colorado for a week, fell in love by the way. and while I was really inspired to write I was sharing a room with my entire family and couldn't get anything out. So though while this took me some time to get out I have been working on other stuff.

**First shameless self plugging right here, I started another Twi fic, but it is a bit diffrent.** It is called "The Entertaining Circumstance Of Deception" and it is written in a sort of Austen and Wilder style. Though maybe a bit darker. It is not under ny pairing as it would ruin the story, but it is Bella somone.

_**Ok, now, also I have been working on several other Bella pack member stories, and thought as a thank you to my lovely reveiwers that I would give preveiws. So if you would like one just tell me in your review which one of the pack members here and I'll send ya a preview.**_

_**Bella/Embry**_

_**Bella/Jared**_

_**Bella/Sam**_

_**Bella/Quil**_


	7. Maybe

**Author's Note: ok, just a quick note and then on to the story. Thank you everyone for the reviews, they were lovely and i hope everyone liked the preveiws. now I just wanted to say quickly to jastafan13, I would have gladly sent you all the previews Sugar, but you have the personal message disabled and i don't know any other way to contact you. **

**Ok, now on with the chapter, hope this one is better than the last. **

* * *

Chapter six: Maybe;

* * *

(Paul's POV)

When I was younger I used to dream about leaving La Push. Once I turned eighteen I was going to just pack up and travel the world. Anything to get away and make something of myself. This was something common among most the kids my age.

We didn't understand our fathers and grandfathers, why they held so tightly to the traditions of our people. As small children sitting at the feet of our mothers we found the stories entertaining, but as we grew and were disillusioned by the real world we began to find them ridiculous.

I wasn't the only one in my grade, or school even, that had big plans for after graduation. When I was fourteen I had started taking odd jobs around the reservation. The money I earned went into an old Jack Daniels bottle I had found in my father's garage. I had stashed the bottle out in the woods, dug nearly two feet into the ground. I wasn't taking any chances that my father would find it. It wouldn't have been the first time he had "borrowed" from me.

Through the years the cash added up. I never once touched my savings. That was my ticket out of La Push. I was going to buy myself a nice truck, take the rest and head out. Hopefully find a nice girl, and years after we had traveled together we would buy a house in some big city and start our family. And I would never force anything on my children, they would be free to be who they wanted to be.

I was a stupid child.

Others in my class actually left, packed and moved out just like they had planned. The only flaw, turns out the stories of our people are real. It may never affect them directly. Most of them are born without the gene, but there is always the chance that they could run into vampires.

Now that I am grown, that I have phased I understand the Elders. It is safer to stay on the reservation. Maybe it was the death of my pack, or the aftermath I witnessed at Emily's, but I believe now in the importance of preserving what and who our people are.

Looking at that old whisky bottle sticking out of the top on my bag on the seat beside me, I argued with myself on whether or not I should regret what I believed as a child.

No, I had never wanted this life, but now that I was thrust right in the middle of it I wasn't sure I could regret what I am. Regret what it has cost, the lives that have been taken, yes. But being able to protect, never.

A loud moan sounded from the bed of my truck. Over the past day and a half since we left that hotel Bella has been stirring more. I wasn't sure if she would wake soon, but I knew I did need to get rid of this truck. We couldn't go much further with her tucked in the back like a piece of luggage.

It was getting to the point where I was thinking about just stealing the first appropriate vehicle I came upon. It seems I hadn't planned this through as best as I could have. If I had been thinking I would have just taken Jake's Rabbit or stolen one of the leeches cars.

I pulled over to the side of the road. It was the middle of the day, sun shinning and the road wide open. The leech would have a pretty hard time getting one over on me here.

Bella was still moaning as I rounded to the back and pulled the blanket down off of her. At least she was still asleep. She was tossing and turning, sweat covering her brow. Blood was soaking through her bandages where the movement of the truck combined with her tossing reopened some of her wounds. I wiped my hand across her forehead only to pull it back.

"Shit…shitshitshitshit…Fuck!" Even though my body ran high and she still felt cool, her skin was much warmer than it had been when we left. She was running a fever.

I searched my brain for what the doctor had said. Infection. Damn it all to hell in a fucking hand basket! I hadn't even thought of that when I packed her up and left. I don't think anyone did. The doctor had said since we couldn't take her to the hospital that we most likely could expect an infection. That we would know if she contracted a fever, a rather high fever. We were to call him if it happened, because it could very well mean her life.

I had to get the fever down, and clean her wounds. And just our luck, there were no towns for at least another two hours. God, I just hoped she would hold on for that long.

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

In my line of work I have had to get used to nights with little to no sleep. I have once spent an entire week where I had only gotten an hour a night. Yet, I still continued on. I don't think I can any more.

Billy used to always tell me that I would start to wind down soon. With my age and all. I wasn't a twenty-something fresh out of the academy with something to prove. Maybe what I was experiencing now had to do with the fact that I am a middle aged man who drinks too much and who's diet is filled mostly with anything dunked in hot grease. Maybe not.

I blink as I stare up at the ceiling above me. My eyelids are heavy and they drag over my dry eyes. I swear I can hear the scraping of the two. I ran out of tears almost two days ago, since then I have just allowed my eyes to dry out. What was the point anyway.

The door to the room I am in creaks open, I don't even look over. Emily was the only one who ever comes in here. She had said that Billy had returned home, he had to prepare for his girls. When he had called to inform them of their little brother's death they insisted on coming home. At least he would have his girls to care for him.

The bed dipped by my hips and I felt a warm hand rest on my chest. I still didn't look at her.

"Charlie, you have to eat. Come on, I fixed some chili." that was another thing, I have barely ate anything since Paul took Bella. I just remained silent and unmoving.

"Charlie, I swear to God if you don't get your fat ass off this bed right now I am going go and get that chili and I am going to shove it down your throat. Now, GET UP!" My eyes shifted to her then. She never swore or raised her voice the entire time I have known her. Her face softened as she looked me over.

"Seriously, you need to get up and eat something. I know this is hard, but at least Bella is alive. Paul will keep her safe and bring her back once the danger is gone. Just keep thinking that, she will be back." A few tears slipped down her cheeks, though she looked like she was trying with everything she had to fight them. Finally I sat up, if only to make it easier to wipe them from her face.

"But they won't. Damnit, Emily I'm sorry. I know I'm probably selfish, acting this way. But…I know what you are going through it harder." She set her small on my mouth with a sad smile.

"Maybe, maybe not. Sure Bella will be back unlike my Sam and the pack, but she is still your daughter. I'm not sure what I would do if this little one was somewhere out there like Bella. Probably the same as you." I couldn't help but look down at her stomach. She was only four months along, and her baby bump was barely visible at all. I placed my hand over the slight protrusion. A smile spread across my lips without my consent.

I remember when Renee had been pregnant with Bella. I had been scared shitless. Worries kept me up at night. Would I make a good father? Would I be able to support the both of them? Could I make them happy like they deserved? But even with all the stress and the worry I loved her pregnancy.

I would come home after work to find her curled up on the couch, her eyes slipped closed as she slept. I would quietly walk over and kneel beside her till I could easily place my head on her swollen belly. I don't know how many times I had fallen asleep in our bed with my head placed there. I had hoped after Bella that we would try for more. I may not be the most proficient with showing my emotions, but it doesn't mean I am a heartless bastard.

I miss being an expectant father, even all the stress that comes with it. My heart clenched when I realized that Sam would never get to experience it. The late nights where you just couldn't sleep, instead you watched her, watched them just picturing what your child would look like. The heart pounding worry for their lives, and the almost paralyzing love for a child you have yet to meet. This was all stolen from him, and Emily would have to deal with all this on her own.

She was looking at me expectantly now. I leaned forward, my eyes taking in every inch of her face. Just as I neared her I moved down and rested my head in the curve of her shoulder and allowed her to gather me into her arms like a baby. She would make a wonderful mother.

"No, you would be out there trying to find them. You would do something, be useful."

"Hey, hey, Charlie look at me." She pushed at my shoulders till I moved back. My tears had finally returned and were now threatening to fall.

"Don't even think that way. You are not useless." I ran my hand through my hair, tugging so hard I knew I had pulled a several strands out. It would surprise me if there was a little blood on my scalp.

"Of course I am! God! Look at me Emily, I am doing nothing but sitting here while that…that…BOY is running off with my baby girl. I am the father, I am the God damned police chief for fuck's sake. I am the one who should be protecting her. But I'm not because of this screwed up world! What am I suppose to do with that? Huh?

"All of my training, all of my years and I can't do a damned thing about it because I'm weak." My voice trailed off at the end of my rant. I can't believe I just yelled at her. She has been so sweet and kind, allowing me to stay here at her house. Feeding me and comforting me when she has lost so much herself.

She just smiled her sad little smile and cupped one side of my face.

"Now you know how I feel, how Billy and Old Quil feel. Charlie, sometimes there just are things in this world that are beyond our power. Just because the both of us don't have what it takes to deal with vampires doesn't mean we are useless.

"There are things we can do here to help. So many have died, and our community can't know why. It has devastated them, and us. But we have to rebuild. The pack would want that. We are broken, but we can be fixed all it is going to take is some time." How could this little thing hold so much heart?

"But I'm not part of your community." She just shook her head.

"Yes you are. Blood, race and name are not what defines a family. This is what defines it, and you have it in abundance, even if you don't show it." Her hand rested on my chest over my heart. It had been a very long time since I felt like a part of a family. With Bella it was different. She loved me I knew, but it was like she didn't need me sometimes. I guess that was why I was even more protective of her. I wanted to hold onto what I could before she completely pulled away from me.

I nodded and slipped from the bed. This world was new to me, vampires and werewolves, family. But I had decided something. If I was really a part of this I would do what I could. Billy would need me, his daughters wouldn't stick around I knew. Old Quil was getting up there as well, I knew his grandson had done a lot for him when he was still alive. Sue and Kim would need support, and Emily… Emily needed someone most of all. She was pregnant with no husband. Her and her child would need someone to care for her.

When Bella and Paul returned I was sure Paul would take up care of her. Billy had explained that he was now Alpha as he was the oldest of the three wolves left. But until then someone had to care for them. Maybe this is what I could do.

"Alright, let's go eat before dinner gets cold." She smiled at me. A real smile with very little sadness.

* * *

(Billy's POV)

This house was empty. Too empty. My girls would be here in a couple of days, but even then I knew it would be empty. Oh I knew they loved me, but I also knew the death of their mother took a great toll on them. They avoided coming here as much as possible. With Jake gone I knew it would be even more.

I wanted to burn this house down. I could just wheel myself into Jake's room, and sit there and watch as the flames took the house and everything in it. Including me.

I wanted to blame someone, ask them if they hated me for some reason. Why me? First my beautiful wife, now my baby boy. I know I needed to live for my girls, but there is that part of me that wonders if it would hurt them all that much. Maybe it would be better if I just ended it now before they came back.

I wheeled into the kitchen and grabbed the candle torch from the knife drawer. I shifted it in my hands, back and forth, back and forth. It would be so easy. So God damned easy.

I took one long breath and moved into the front room and straight to the curtains. I lowered my hand, my finger on the igniter.

"What are you doing?" Fuck! I turned my head to see both Sue and Kim standing in the doorway.

"Go back home Sue." My voice was strangely cold and calm.

"What are you doing?" She took a few steps closer, she looked like she was trying to approach a wild animal. Maybe that is what she was doing.

"Go. Home. Sue. Now." Again cold and completely steady.

"No, not until you tell me what you are doing."

"What does it look like?" Finally some sort of emotion, annoyance.

"Looks like I am standing in front of a very stupid man." Her eyes flicked behind me for a moment before she nodded shortly. I didn't even have time to ask what she was doing before the lighter was snatched from my hands. I hadn't even noticed Kim edge her way around the room.

Sue let out a breath and flung herself at me. Her arms encircled my neck as she practically crawled into my wheelchair with me.

"Don't you ever do that again, you hear me? What were you thinking, you stupid, stupid man? I've lost so much already, Harry, Leah and Seth. Don't you dare make me loose you too! You got me? Billy, promise me!" She was crying into my neck, her tears soaking my shirt. I held her tightly to me, sobs starting to shake my body once again.

"I promise." She nodded and lifted her head as she wiped away her tears.

"Good, because I would just have to kick your lazy ass if you ever tried that again." I couldn't help but chuckle slightly at that. Sue almost never swore. Harry would have had a fit, he hated it when women swore. He would have had Leah's hide had he ever heard her after she phased.

"Now, Kim could you please go and start dinner." The girl nodded quietly and as soon as she entered the kitchen I heard a clink as she threw the lighter into the trash. Guess they weren't going to take any chances.

"Well, now that we have that all settled you need to go and have a nap while I get this place cleaned up for the girls." My eyebrow lifted.

"A nap? What am I a child?" Sue just set her hands on her hips.

"I am inclined to believe so if you were willing to do something so stupid. So until you prove to me otherwise I shall treat you as one. Now go, I will call you when dinner is ready." I thought to argue, but she had her face set. It was the same look the entire pack feared. Both in Sue and Leah, that look meant that you better do what she says or else. I laughed quietly as I remembered a time Quil found out just what 'or else' meant. The boy was singing soprano for two weeks.

Once I was in my room and had pulled myself into my bed I thought over what I had just done. Maybe I should have been shocked at what I was about to do. Maybe.

But I wasn't.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

_I was burning. I could feel it all over. The serene vision of the Cullens and the Pack melted away, engulfed by flames. I watched as the fire took each and everyone of them. I didn't have time to call out for them before the flames curled around my own body._

_Everything hurt, everything burned. I thought to compare it to the burning of vampire venom, but this seemed much worse. At least then I knew once it was over I would have been one of them. Able to spend forever with Edward. This I knew was different. I was going to burn and burn and in the end I would be gone._

_What had I done to deserve this? Had I been that selfish that I was being denied my family? _

_Sharp pains flicked up and down my legs and ribs as though someone had decided to slice my flesh off piece by piece. This had to be hell._

_I could no longer hold it in. I screamed._

* * *

(Paul's POV)

I almost swerved off the road as her screamed filled the cab of the truck. I have never heard anything like it before. It scared the shit out of me. And I didn't know what to do.

I pulled off and practically ran around to Bella. She was thrashing and screaming at the top of her lungs. I crawled in a kneeled beside her. My hands were everywhere as I tried to calm her down. She just kept screaming.

There was only one thing I could think of that might help. I reached up and through the window of the cab and grabbed the bag of medications. Emily had packed it full of painkillers. I knew they would help Bella sleep. I poured several in my hand and opened a bottle of water. It was difficult, but I finally managed to get them down her throat.

I'm not sure how many I gave her, most likely more than I should have. I just panicked. I held her to me for a good fifteen minutes until the pills took effect. Once she was calm and I was assured that she was still breathing, I placed her back down and covered her up.

She had gotten even hotter and I was afraid by the time we got to a town it would be too late. When I got back in the truck I pushed it harder and faster than I have ever done before. I wouldn't fail.

* * *

Author's note: Lookie! Longer chapter! :D ok anyway, I think I am back on track with this story. I wasn't as fond of last chapter.

Now I have been asked a couple of times if Charlie and Emily are going to get together. at this point I'm not even sure. They might, or they might not. We will have to see.

Also I think the next pack story I will be posting will be the Sam/Bella one, and hopefully as long as my muse remains alive I should have it out sometime next month when this story is at least halfway done. So keep your fingers crossed for me that my muse doesn't die.

Disclaimer: Nope don't own it. Just several giant teddy bears named after the Twilight Characters. And one named after David Bowie.


	8. If You Want To Live

Chapter Seven: If You Want To Live;

(Paul's POV)

I could see the heat rising from the hood of the truck by the time I pulled into a town. I was sure I had pushed the engine too far. Not that I cared at the moment. My eyes scanned the sides of the road as I hightailed it down the street. I released a breath as I noticed a hotel just a few minutes away.

Car horns blared around me as I cut off several others in order to reach the Super 8. I cringed as the tires screeched when I swerved into the parking lot. I wasted no time and shot from the cab like the seats were on fire. After a quick check on Bella I rushed into the lobby. One of the good things about my size and appearance, people pretty much gave me what I wanted in fear that I would bash their heads in should they refuse me.

I signed the papers, paid and was handed over the key card in what I assumed was record time. The woman behind the counter glared at me while the guy beside me smirked and made a perverted remark about me having a woman in my car. I just ignored them as I went to retrieve Bella. Let them think what they wanted. Maybe they would be less inclined to bother me if they thought I was screwing some whore. I shuddered to think what would happen should they find out what I was really doing.

I took a moment to look around me before I gathered the girl in my arms and carried her to our room. I laid her on the bed just until I could bring in the rest of our things. I had to hurry, she was soaked through with sweat.

As soon as I locked the door I took in Bella. She looked on the verge of death. Her skin was dark pink like she had been standing by a heater for too long. Her clothes were soaked and her bandages were red with blood. I was sure she had reopened several of her wounds.

At the moment I would have given anything to have Dr. Fang alive and here. I was a God damned wolf, not a doctor. I took a breath, I knew I could do this. I had to do this.

First I needed to get her cooled down. In the movies they always put them in a bath of cold water and ice. Sadly that wouldn't work, not with the casts on her legs. After a glance around the room I ran into the bathroom and filled the tub with ice cold water. Now I needed ice. I knew there were always ice machines in places like this, but the bucket they provided would not carry enough for this.

I ruffled through the bags until I found a large canvas laundry bag. Maybe. With a whispered "I'll be right back," to Bella I ran from the room knowing I had to hurry.

Luckily no one had been in the hall to watch as I almost emptied the machine into the bag. The pills must have been wearing off, because by the time I got back to the room Bella was once again moaning. I dumped the ice into the water and grabbed all but one towel from the rack above the toilet and tossed them into the tub.

Fighting the urge to feel bad about what I was going to do, I started removing the clothes from the girl. I shouldn't have been embarrassed, since we left I have had to do things for this girl much more mortifying. I wasn't looking forward to facing the girl when she woke after she realized that I basically changed her diapers.

Once I had all of her clothes removed I grabbed several of the bags Emily had shoved in the luggage and stuffed her cast covered legs into them. I left her on the bed and as soon as I set out one of the soaked towels on the floor of the bathroom I laid her on it and proceeded to wrap her in the remaining towels. It took almost an hour and a half, rewetting the towels every few minutes, to finally get her temperature down enough that she had started shivering.

I didn't bother with moving her into the bedroom just yet, only started to remove her bandages right there on the floor. I had to stifle a gasp as I laid eyes on the wound that covered her stomach. The lines that reached from one side to the other matched the ones that stretched across her face. The only difference was where the four lines from her temple to below her ear were shallow. Mere scratches compared to the deep cuts I was now looking at.

It was obvious this was where the infection had started. The edges of the wounds puckered from the stitches, bright red and swollen. Her stomach was covered in blood and a clear slick fluid I knew was caused by the infection. A smell similar to rotting flesh rose up from the slices and I had to keep myself from gagging.

I was glad she was still under, this was going to hurt like hell. I grabbed the bag and dumped it onto the floor beside me. Bottles and tubes of medication rolled around the two of us. A couple of bottles of rubbing alcohol caught my attention. Emily couldn't have packed peroxide, could she?

Rolls of toilet paper bounced on the floor when I pushed them from the shelf they had been sitting on. I uncapped one of the bottles of alcohol and began pouring. Even in her sleep I knew she was hurting as Bella's stomach clenched and she attempted to roll over. I kept her as still as I could as I wiped her belly dry only to pour of the strong smelling alcohol.

By the time that I was halfway through the second bottle her skin was bright red, but the bleeding had stopped and the clear fluid had failed to show up anymore. I set the bottle aside knowing I would need it for the rest of her wounds, should they be infected or not.

The medication the doctor had given for her cuts glided on smooth and creamy white, a sort of stale tangy odor rising from it. After I wrapped her stomach and repeated everything over again with her other injuries I realized that I would need to visit the store soon.

I rested my head against the lid of the toilet and just breathed. Bella was finally still and the smell of rotting flesh was gone. Hopefully I had destroyed enough of the infection, but I knew I would have to repeat this again several times. And I was now out of supplies. I wasn't sure how I was suppose to get them. I couldn't bring Bella in with me into the store, that would raise way too many questions that I did not need to deal with.

Bella couldn't stay here, it was too much of a risk. The leech could easily get in here while I was gone and kill her. The only other option I had was to leave her in the bed of the truck, though that even was risky. And not just because of the little red-headed bitch that was after us.

My eyes closed on their own. I may have been used to little sleep because of patrols, but this stress was wearing me out. My whole body began to feel heavy, the soft sound of Bella's breathing followed me into darkness.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

_Slowly the fire receded, drifting away only to be replaced by ice. I could feel it as it crawled through my body. The images around me began to clear, though they remained somewhat blurry. I could just make out faces as I felt a burning, almost boiling run across my stomach. I imagined this was what it felt like to be burned by acid._

_The pain continued. I knew the flesh below my chest had to have melted off by now, but when I glanced down I remained whole._

_Voices, soft and music like drifted around me. They all spoke the same thing. Words of goodbye and forgiveness. I tried to reach them, but it was as though someone had glued my feet to the ground. I couldn't move, towards or away._

_The burning finally slowed to a steady ache, but I found I still couldn't move. I whimpered. I just wanted to rest._

* * *

(Victoria's POV)

That little human bitch was beginning to really piss me off. Why couldn't she just die? She was a weak and pathetic human, though she still lives. How?

I watch as Riley drags two such weak humans behind them. They are crying and begging him to let them go. Idiots. They should be honored, they would soon be given a great gift. Humans such as these two should be so lucky to be changed. They would see, and they would bow to me. Just like the others did, they feared me.

Too bad the Volturi had destroyed them before the job was fully done. I would have to be more careful this time. Jane had spared me only because she was so pleased that the Cullens were gone, the wolves just earned me more points. I was sure that should my army get out of hand she would not spare me again.

I steeled myself as Riley brought the first human before me. A young man, a good choice. He looked strong even for a human. I sliced through his wrist, pushing my tongue back as the blood filled my mouth. I had done this enough times now I knew how to make it easier on me. I wasted no time in pushing my venom into the bite.

The man screamed loudly drowning out the whimpers of the other that Riley still held. It took me a moment, but I was able to pull back and continue with the other. I would need to hunt after this, just to take the edge off.

Riley smiled at me with that loving look that made me sick. The stupid boy actually believed I loved him, that we were mates. James had been more the man then this little gnat could ever hope to be. Sure he was a good distraction, a good way to release stress. And he came in handy when it came to building and training my army. But I would be glad to be rid of him.

The two men began to writhe around on the floor. Hopefully they would prove to be useful. Unlike last time I would not need many, it would be just the girl and her dog. I had plans though, the two would think themselves safe and only then would I strike.

I turned on my heel after signaling to Riley to keep watch over our two newest children, and left. I was getting thirsty.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

The first thing I noticed when I woke was the pain that was shooting through my neck because of the angle I had my head. The second was that I was not in a bed, but on the floor in the bathroom with the toilet as my pillow.

I sat up fully and rubbed at the back of my neck. I looked down at the figure on the floor and fought not to smack myself in the head. Bella was still completely nude except for her bandages and the bags over her casts, and she was shivering.

Carefully I maneuvered around till I could pick her up and carried her into the other room and set her on the bed as I searched through the bags for her clothes. Once I had her fully clothed I tucked her up in the blankets and set out to clean up my mess.

The maid was going to ask question once she looked in the trash. I sighed, I wasn't sure how I was going to get what I needed at the store. I was sitting beside Bella when I heard a bunch of kids playing outside our door. I was ready to open it and frighten the shit out of them when I realized this could work to my advantage.

When I opened the door I noticed the kids were about fifteen or maybe sixteen, not that it mattered. Children were greedy at any age. I motioned one of them over and after a little bribing convinced him to run down to the store and pick me up a few items. Sadly the deal lost me a good fifty dollars.

I was back to lying beside the unconscious girl. I turned on my side and started to trace the dark purple bruise with my fingers. Over and over, creating swirling patterns. I watched the path my fingers took so carefully that when a soft moan lifted from the girl I startled.

"W-what? Paul?" I lifted my eyes only to focus on the open eyes of a very much awake Bella.

Shit.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok first sorry for those I said that this would be out in only a couple of days after the last update. a few things came up, plus two oneshots kidnapped my muse and wouldn't let her go until I had them written and posted.

Now, got a little Victoria in there. I'm not sure how i'm liking that bit, but I thought we needed to see what was going through her head.

Also thought it was time for Bella to wake, or we would have too many chapters of Paul just talking to himself. So now the fun starts as they actually get to talk to each other.

Ok, if anyone whats to check it out, I finally did the oneshot back story for Sam and Emily before the battle. It is called "Hush, Child, Hush" I am thinking about maybe also doing a set of one shots about each of the wolves the night before and how they said their goodbyes, but I'm not sure.

The other oneshot I wrote is called "The Gold In The Buckle" and is an all human Bella and bull riding Jake story. At the moment it is a oneshot, but I have left it open encase I decide I want to turn it into a full story.

I also put up a poll in my author page, I have so many pack stories lined up I'm having a hard time chosing which stories to put up next. So I put up a poll to find out what pairings ya'll would like to see form me next.

Disclaimer: No ownership! If I had it there would have been a lot more wolf lovin'.


	9. Placing Blame

Chapter Eight: Placing Blame

* * *

(Bella's POV)

The burning had finally stopped, only a dull ache remained throughout my body. I tried to remember what had happened, but every time it all came out blurry. Like a dream long past, already half forgotten. I could feel soft fingers moving over my neck, hot, thick fingers. Jake?

A moan escaped my throat at the soft caress. It felt wonderful amongst the pain that filled the rest of me. I opened my eyes expecting to find Jake, his gaze fixed upon me with that consuming love and devotion I knew I didn't deserve. Only he wasn't there.

Paul was spread out beside me slowly running his fingers in circles along my neck.

"W-what? Paul?" Paul's head shot straight up. I wish I could say that he was his normal arrogant self, so full of himself and ready with a leech insult on the tip of his tongue. Oh, I wish I could have, but I couldn't. His eyes which once held such mirth when he was around his brothers, now held only anger and sadness. So much sadness.

He looked broken. I cast around in my mind trying to understand why a man as strong as Paul would look so lost. Images of Edward and Seth came in rapid succession. Tears started to pool in my eyes and slip down into my hair.

Oh God, none of this had been a dream. They were dead, my Edward and poor Seth. Paul sat up more, his hand moving from my neck to wipe the tears from my face. His touch was so gentle and caring. Why? He had never liked me, I was the leech lover.

"Paul, what happened?" I took a moment to look around me. This room was not home, not Billy's, and I was sure this place was not Emily's. I tried to sit up so I could see better, only my legs would not move and my stomach felt like I had been cut in half and sewn back together. Paul softly pushed back on my shoulders, still not speaking.

"What the hell happened and where are we? Paul, damn it! A-are the pack ok? The Cullens? Why can't…" His face hardened as he pressed his hand over my mouth. He looked so angry now, almost like he could kill me. Like he wanted to kill me.

"You want to know what the hell happened? They are dead that is what happened! All of them, dead. The pack, your beloved leeches. Every. Last. One. Dead." My heart stopped for a moment. All of them? Alice…Emmett…Jacob? The tears were coming harder now, even though Paul's face was practically right beside mine it was a watery blur.

"And I had to watch. I had to watch as those bloodsuckers tore open Sam's stomach and gutted him right before Leah's eyes. Watch how they almost ripped her in half as she tried to get his blood off of her face, out of her mouth.

"I watched as they took down each of my brothers. Tore their arms off, pulled their throats right out. Then because Jake loved you for some insane reason he sent me to find you. Before I could get there I watched them take down your Cullens. I had to listen to them scream as they fought to save your sorry ass!" I couldn't take it, my tears were waterfalls now. I knew the pillow below me was soaked through. I whimpered as I tried to tell Paul to shut up. He only continued on, this time spitting out his words into my ear.

"I went back to Jake, and you know what I found when I got there? He was propped up against a tree, phased back because of the pain. His eyes open, but he was dead. They had broken almost every bone in his body.

"Oh, but he was at least in one piece. When I found Seth…you know Sue didn't even have enough of his body to have a proper burial. They cremated what we could find. There are not even enough ashes to fill a God damned match box!" I thrashed out my arms where I could while screaming at the top of my lungs.

"**Stop it! Stopitstopitstopitstopit! SHUT UP! Damn it stop it!**" I stopped moving so I could cover my face as the sobbing only increased. The images in my head wouldn't stop. I wanted them to stop.

"It is all my fault." My voice was nothing more than a whisper now, but Paul heard it.

"Finally got a fucking clue did you? Of course it is all your fault! Everyone was go gung-ho about protecting you, and look what happened. They are all dead, you might as well have tore them apart yourself. You have their blood on your hands. How does it feel? Huh?" He was leaning over me now, an arm on each side of my head pinning me even more down to the bed. I was shaking hard, this was all my fault. He was right, damnit he was right.

"Then kill me! Just finish it Paul…please!" I reached up to grab his shoulders, my hands slipping down and trying with all my strength to pull his hands to my neck. He wouldn't budge, only hung his head so I couldn't see his eyes.

"No." I was stunned. I was guilty of their murders and he was refusing to seek justice.

"Why not?" He looked up at me then, one hand finally coming up to wipe away tears in an almost caress.

"Because I made a promise. I know I'm a bastard, but I keep my promises. Now, calm down and I will be back in a minute." He pushed off of me and moved quietly to the door. I jumped when he slammed it shut. Alone with my thoughts I could do nothing but cry. I killed them.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

Shit! ShitshitshitFUCK! What the hell is wrong with me? I was having more mood swings than a pregnant woman. I had actually been feeling guilty about the bruise I left on her and then I was happy…damn actually happy that she was finally awake. Then she wouldn't shut up and it pissed me the hell off.

I really did it now. I knew she had the habit of blaming herself for things, even when it wasn't her fault. Damn it I knew that, and I knew she would already be blaming herself for what happened. So what do I go and do? I not only place the blame solely on her, I describe what happened in more detail than needed. Basically tell her that she murdered them herself. She would never get over this.

It would have been worse if she hadn't begged me to kill her. That one thing snapped me out of it and I had to get out of there.

I leaned up against the wall just outside of our room. I could hear her cries as if I was still beside her. I really screwed up. Her body would heal, but I had a feeling after what I just did her mind and heart wouldn't.

I just didn't know what to do anymore. I needed Sam and Jake, damnit I needed my brothers and sister.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I was staring up at the ceiling. It wasn't a particularly impressive ceiling. I guess it was once white, though it had yellowed due to time and cigarette smoke. There were large brown stains that I was sure I didn't want to know what had caused them. At the moment I was following a small black spider as it made its way across the peeling paint.

I had already gathered that we were in a hotel. Where, I wasn't sure. Nor was I sure about the why. Only that the Cullens and the Pack were all dead and I was here with Paul.

His behavior confused me. He could have killed me, avenged his pack and stopped my pain. But he didn't. Why? Why couldn't he just do it. All it would take would be one quick twist of his hands around my head and, Snap!

I didn't want to feel this anymore. This was much worse than when Edward left me. There was no chance that he would be coming back. Jake was not going to be here to keep me together. I was alone and I didn't want to be. I wanted it to end.

Paul had returned somewhere around two hours ago, but he had refused to speak to me. Or look at me for that matter. All he did was flick through the channels on the tv. I looked over to him when I heard the sound muted.

I knew he noticed because he flinched slightly. It was the same reaction he had to my gaze since I woke up. He continued to ignore me as he picked up the phone and ordered enough pizzas to feed two families. He unmated the tv once he was done and continued to flick the channels. I just returned to looking at the ceiling. At least it couldn't ignore me.

I only noticed time had passed when Paul left returning a few moments later with six large pizzas in his hand. He set five of them on the table and walked over to sit beside me. He didn't speak, only opened the box and set it on my stomach before walking away to eat his own.

My stomach started growling at the smell of the food, but at the moment I was flat on my back and could barely lift my head. I picked up a piece and brought it down to my mouth. Before I could get a bite taken the pile of toppings fell from the crust and landed half on my mouth half off of my chin.

I stuck my tongue out and tried to maneuver the cheese and ham into my mouth. I only succeeded in pushing it off onto my neck. I took a bite from the crust, but it didn't taste so good without the toppings. I threw the crust away from me, and though it was embarrassing I began crying. I was hungry and in pain.

Paul walked into my line of sight. I expected him to laugh at me. The poor pitiful human couldn't even eat on her own. He didn't, only sat down and lifted me a bit in his lap so that I was mostly sitting. He wrapped one arm around my waist very carefully and used his other to grab a hold of a slice of pizza and hold it before me.

We sat in silence as Paul helped feed me. After one and a half slices I was beginning to feel a bit sick and told him so. He pulled away from me, careful not to hurt me and put the pizza box on the table near the others.

"I should have realized. You have had nothing but broth for awhile now, your stomach is not ready for something as greasy as this. I will get you something for your stomach and next meal I will fix you some more broth and maybe a bit of bread or something.

"You shouldn't have to worry about it though, but for a few more days." The entire time he spoke he did not once look at me, or even near me. He gave me a dose of something pink and slimy and went to finish off his dinner.

If he was going to ignore me than I would just ignore him. I closed my eyes already knowing that I would not be able to sleep long before the nightmares would begin.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

Bella had fallen asleep a few minutes ago and already she was whimpering. I turned to look over her and noticed that I had not cleaned up the pizza from her face and neck. I grabbed a washrag and carefully removed all sauce and oil from her skin.

I was surprised that for the past few hours she had been silent. I was trying my hardest to ignore her, looking into her dead eyes just made me feel even worse. Even now and then I could feel her gaze on me, it burned like fire. I hated it, hated her and hated myself.

Now as she whimpered in her sleep all I could think to do was wrap her up in my arms to get her to quiet down. I knew if I did and she woke up all we would end up doing would be fighting. So I remained sitting beside her only.

We would have to leave when she woke up. With our fighting and my asking those teens for help it was going to cause too many questions to be asked. While she was now awake she was still unable to sit in the cab of my truck. And I did not think she would willingly lay down in the bed now that she was awake. I would have to figure out how to get another car.

I stood and began to pace the room. The sound of a car door slamming brought me to the window. Below us I watched as a young couple got out of a van. It was large and most likely seated seven people. They grabbed a couple of bags from the back and entered the hotel. They had no children, which was perfect.

I began to formulate a plan. It wasn't the best, and it could cause problems. Bella moaned softly in her sleep causing me to look over at her. Maybe I could get Charlie's help. I was sure as Police Chief he would have access to the station computer system. I was sure he could at least do something.

Grabbing my phone I dialed hoping that he would put his daughter before his morals. If not I wasn't sure what I was going to do.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry about it taking so long. First off I have been busy with a few things. I might be moving in the next month or two and so a lot has been going on with that. Next I was having trouble figuring out how to start this chapter.

At first i was planning to be mean and start it out with Billy or Charlie and Emily, maybe even wait for the confrontation until next chapter, but every time I starting planning it it just sounded wrong. But I finally figured it out, and this actually came out very easy.

Now I was wanting to have this story done by the end of this month, but with the possible move it may take a liitle more time.

also I have an account at Black N Pack now, so anyone already on there I have been posting my stories on there too. just so no one thinks they were stolen as I'm going by a different screen name there.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. If I did the Pack would have taken main stage.


	10. Dark Light

Chapter Nine: Dark Light

* * *

(Paul's POV)

The sun was just rising above the horizon, the light edging into our dark little room. Bella had slept on and off, waking up many times screaming or whimpering in pain. I still did not dare to try and comfort her.

I looked over at her. At the moment she was sleeping pretty peacefully, mostly due to the fact that I had to give her some of her pain medications. The call to Charlie had been interesting.

Charlie was what a cop should be, a man more men should look up to in life. He abided by the rules, followed the laws and did not abuse his power. What I had to ask him was hard for him. On one hand he didn't want to go against his morals, but on the other he wanted to help his daughter. Luckily his daughter won out.

I had given him all the information he would need as well as the time I would most likely be pulling this off. He figured, depending on the couple I had watched, we had maybe four or five hours before we were reported. That should hopefully give him enough time to work.

Bella moaned and I knew she would be waking up soon. I wasn't looking forward to this day, especially what had to be done before we left. It was hard enough when she had been unconscious.

I set out the bottles of alcohol, gaze, and medication as well as a clean set of clothes. Bella woke up just as I returned from the bathroom with several towels and washrags. She didn't speak to me, or look at me for that matter. At least not until I started to lift her shirt from her body.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" I should have done this while she was still asleep. Bella kept slapping at my hands as I continued to try and undress her. I finally got tired and grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head as I ground out my words right in her face.

"That leech did a number on you and I have to clean them. If you haven't noticed but we are not in a hospital, nor can we go to one. Your wounds are infected and up until a few hours before you woke up you had been burning up with a fever.

"Now, will you stop struggling and allow me to clean and re-bandage you? Or do you want to rot alive? It make no difference to me, except that the smell is bothersome." All fight left her as her eyes drifted down to the wraps that were no exposed along her stomach. She just nodded and allowed me to continue.

Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling as I removed her clothes until she remained in nothing but…well an adult diaper. I heard sniffling, forcing my eyes to focus on her face. She was looking past the wrappings to the diaper. I hadn't the heart to make any snide remark, not with the look in her eyes. I was sure I would feel the same had I found out that I had to wear something like that.

"We couldn't take you to a hospital, this was the only way. You won't have to wear them now that you are awake." She wiped the tears from her eyes and turned her head towards the wall.

"But I still need help. My legs are in casts. At least I can actually sit on the damned toilet like a _big girl_ now." I wasn't sure how to respond to that so simply continued.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

If my guilt and grief were not enough, if not the embarrassment from having to be feed was not enough, I find out I was wearing a God damned diaper. The humiliation was complete as Paul not only removed the offending garment from me but started to clean me like a baby. I was just waiting for the powder.

He at least kept his mouth shut. When he replaced the diaper with a pair or plain white cotton highrise briefs I at least felt somewhat better. I still didn't like the idea that she would have to help carry me into the bathroom and…everything that entailed, but at least he no longer was changing me.

I screamed out as he poured alcohol on my stomach after removing the wrap. It hurt like hell. From what I could remember of Victoria's attack I should be dead. She practically sliced me to shreds. Paul left my side for a moment before returning with a ball of rolled up socks.

"They are clean, so don't worry. Here, just put them in your mouth and bite down." I must have looked at him funny as he just huffed and stuffed them in my mouth.

"They will keep you from biting your tongue off. Well more off." Why couldn't he just kill me? The pain as he cleaned my wounds felt like acid pouring on my flesh. The socks at least muffled the sounds of my screaming.

Once he was finished he pulled the now wet bundle from my mouth and gave me a drink of water. I refused to say thank you. Not that he seemed to mind.

He picked me up and led me into the bathroom. As we walked past the mirror I noticed how he kept my back to it and would shake me when I tried to turn around. Was I that bad?

He cleared his throat as he set me down on the toilet and proceeded to pull my panties down. He left after that with a quiet word to call him once I was done. I just sat there for a long time silently crying.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

While I waited for Bella to finish I set to work on packing up everything that we would need. Once I checked out we would have to be quick. This early in the morning few were awake and there was a good chance no one would see us. Still it was best to play on the side of caution.

I had already made the call to the tow for my old truck. The old license plates were nothing more than wads of rusted metal now stuffed in my bag along with anything else that could be linked back to myself and La Push.

My truck was at the moment being hauled out of the parking lot when Bella finally called me. She had managed to pull herself to the edge of the tub where she washed her hands. Her head was hanging low, her hair covering her face from my view.

"I couldn't get my panties back up without almost falling over." I nodded though I knew she wouldn't see it and helped her pull the briefs over her thighs to settle against her hips. I was careful as I carried her out of the room to make sure she never once caught sight of herself in the mirror. I didn't think either of us could handle what would happen if she saw what that leech did to her face.

I dressed her quickly and grabbed a hold of our stuff in one hand while I carefully carried her in my other arm. She did not look happy about this, though she kept quiet. I worked quickly to bust the lock on the van doors and set her in the back with our bags under the seats.

"Paul? What are you doing? Oh God, please, please tell me you are not stealing this van? Paul!" Damnit! I slapped my hand over her mouth in an effort to shut her up.

"Keep your voice down, will you? Now, all I have…had was an old truck. Up until now you have been riding tucked in the bed of said truck because with those casts you can't sit in a bucket seat. I do not have the money or the time to buy a van, so unless you _want _to sleep in the bed of a truck you will shut up so we don't get caught." Her eyes were panicky, but I knew we had to hurry so I removed my hand.

"Caught? What happens when they report this van stolen? Huh?" She sounded so damn smug that I wanted to just pop that little mouth of hers.

"Yeah well your Daddy is going to take care of that." If I thought she looked scared before it was nothing compared to the look on her face now. I looked at my watch. Shit, this would have to wait until we were on the road.

"Just shut up and try not to be seen. I have to go check out, but I will be as fast as I can." I didn't give her a chance to respond before I hightailed it to the lobby so I could scare the shit out of the woman working in order to get out as fast as I could.

* * *

Bella had remained quiet for the past hour as I practically floored it. I was hoping she would remain that way for awhile yet, of course she had other plans.

"What did you mean that Charlie was going to take care of it? How…why?" Time to let the little princess know what was going on.

"He knows, about what the Cullens were, what I am. One of the pups phased in front of him while he was at Billy's. We had no choice but to tell him after that.

"I know it goes against everything that he stands for, but you are more important to him that his job. I gave him all the information including the time we would most likely steal this. He is going to be keeping an eye out on the station computer system and when the report is filed he is going to…well he is going to make this van disappear." I watched her through the rearview mirror. She blinked a few times in what looked like disbelief. Most likely didn't expect her father to break the law. Of course not, because she was stupid enough to believe that even though they weren't perfect, her parents were good people. The problem was with the right motivation even the best of people did bad things.

And sometimes the worst of people did good things. My eyes fell on the fading circle of purple around the girl's neck.

"Ok, I guess that might work. But, Paul what are we doing? Why do we even need to steal a car, why are we not in La Push?" Was she that dense?

"Because Princess, you are a leech magnet. If you remained in La Push that sadistic redhead would have followed, and then what? Would you have my entire tribe sucked dry just so you could feel more comfortable?

"Think for once little girl! Collin, Brady and myself are the only wolves left. Three of us would not be enough to protect our people, mostly when both Collin and Brady are just children. They have never once killed a vampire." My hands were squeezing down on the steering wheel so hard that I could hear the thing crack. I took a deep breath and let it out before continuing and ignoring the girl's crying.

"I had to protect the reservation, to do that I had to get you out of there. So now that brings us to now. I have no idea where we are going, how long we will be gone or anything. I have to figure out how to stop that leech. Once she is destroyed we can return. Then it will be safe." That was something that been worrying me. How was I going to kill this damned vampire by myself? It would be different if it had just been her, but she had at least one other that I know of. And from what I knew of her she could very well have created more.

"Why? I mean why run with me, protect me? All you would have to do is give me to Victoria and she would leave you and the reservation alone. So why not?" She couldn't just leave it.

"I made a promise. Jake was in love with you, Billy thinks of you as a daughter and Charlie, well unlike you Charlie is a decent person. Believe me when I tell you that if it was up to me I would have handed you to that leech on a shinning silver platter. But you were and are important to those important to me.

"I am protecting you because Jake was my brother, not because I believe you deserve to live." bella just nodded and turned her head to face away from me. She didn't speak again that day, I should have been happy because of that. Only I wasn't. With each intake of breath, each sob I grew to hate myself more.

Why couldn't I shut up? I could have simply told her that I made a promise to Billy and was doing this because of Jake. Oh no, I had to continue on and make her feel worse. Every time I opened my mouth I knew I was cutting away another piece of her heart and sanity.

I had promised to protect her, but who would protect her from me?

* * *

Author's Notes: Wow, lookie actually got this done quick. Also already have the next chapter started so it hopefully shouldn't be too long.

Well, looks like the move might be put off for a year or two, at least for the moment so hopefully I should be able to update quicker. I'm still hoping to finish by the end of the month. This story will most likely be 20-22 chapters, maybe 25 we will have to see.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it.


	11. All Those Left Behind

Chapter Ten: All Those left Behind

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

I stared down at the scrap of paper on the table in front of me. Since Paul left with my Bella I had been looking for a way to help, some way that I could be of use. I hadn't ever thought that it would mean going against everything that I held as right and just.

I have always been a good cop. Never once had I been tempted to break the law for my own gain. I have known corrupt cops in my years. Men and women that used their badge and uniform as a cover for their wrong deeds. I was even the one to put many of those people away. Like Allen.

Allen McMallin had been the model of a good cop. Forty years old with a loving wife and two beautiful children. They looked like the ideal family. I had even had many dinners over at their house. It wasn't until I was approached by the girl next door to them that I realized something was wrong. It turned out that Allen had a thing for little girls. Trish had only been ten years old.

I knew that what Paul had asked me to do would not put me in the same league as cops like McMallin, but I couldn't help but feel wrong for what I was going to do.

I felt a warm hand squeeze my shoulder. Emily had been with me when Paul called, though she had yet to say anything. I looked to the paper and back towards her. She sighed and sat down in the chair beside me.

"Just because you do this one thing does not make you corrupt. You are helping out your daughter, not making money off of a hot car. Paul said that Bella is awake and he is just doing this in order to make it easier on her." My fingers traced over the combination of numbers and letters on the paper.

"What about the couple that owns this van?" Emily picked the paper up and stuck it in my hand.

"What about Bella? Charlie, this couple will be ok. Sure they are going to have to deal with the money situation, their insurance, and the fact that they actually were robbed. But at least their lives are safe. Not Bella's. Her and Paul are running for their lives, and I say if they have to step on a few toes in order to come back to us safe…well then fuck the rest of the world." I sat there stunned for a moment. Ever since Paul and Bella left this woman had been surprising me.

I knew she was right. The owners would be fine, my daughter on the other hand would not. I nodded my head and with a quick kiss to the top of her head I set off to the station. It would most likely take an hour or two more, but I needed to head it off before the word got out.

I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. I prayed that this worked. I needed my little girl back.

* * *

(Emily's POV)

I sat at the kitchen table and just listened as the sound of Charlie's cruiser faded away. This was the first time anyone had been able to convince him to go to the station. None of the other cops had said anything, according to Sue the last time that Charlie took a vacation had been when Renee had left with Bella. Most of his co-workers thought it was about time he took off.

Of course not one of them knew the reason why. There was no official story, no one could figure out something believable. Why seven people, most just kids, had suddenly disappeared. Rumors were running rampant around the reservation.

Sue had come over the day before, she wanted me to hear some of them from her and not those who knew nothing of the truth. Most of the rumors surrounded the old rumor that Sam had been the leader of a gang.

Some said that they all ran away, others that the Elders finally got wise to Sam and banished them. The ones that bothered me the most were the ones that said that Sam had run off with Leah. Every time I left my house I would get looks of pity or offers of help with anything I needed.

Even though the thought of these people disrespecting the memory of my soul mate and my cousin, I knew I had to let it go and ignore them. Eventually, in time, everyone would forget about our boys. Stories may be told years from now;

"_Oh remember Embry? That boy that used to hang around with the Black boy?"_

"_Yeah, whatever happened to him?"_

"_He just disappeared with a few other boys, no one knows what happened."_

And that would be it. They would just be forgotten, only our small family would remember. Remember and grieve.

I take a deep breath in order to calm my wildly beating heart. I had to try and keep myself calm, if not for myself than for my child. The little one was the only thing keeping me together. Should I loose the last piece of Sam I had left I knew I would no longer be able to survive.

My eyes roam over the kitchen. This place had once been a bright place, so full of laughter and love. The boys would gather here, and I didn't care that they practically ate me out of house and home. As long as they brought light to my home.

Tears feel silently down my face. I hadn't allowed myself to cry since that night when Paul came back with Bella. I was the Alpha's mate and I had to be strong for those left behind. I had meant what I told Paul. When they came home we would rebuild, we would survive.

We had to.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I turned my head to face the front of the van. Neither Paul or I felt the need to speak. I guess this was most likely the best thing, I was sure that if either of us opened our mouth we would probably get into a fight.

My eyes roamed over the figure of the man at the wheel. I had never been close to Paul, though it was not like I had tried very hard. He hated me from the start, called me a leech lover more times than I could count. Jake always tried to make me feel better by telling me how Paul hated everyone. He was one of the wolves that wasn't too happy about phasing.

Even though we had never been friends I knew enough about him to recognize the changes. His shoulders that he had once had lifted in arrogant pride were now hang low. The tension in his body was not of anger, but hopelessness.

Hopeless. What an appropriate word for the situation we found ourselves in at the moment. I was sure Paul believed the same as I did. That neither of us stood a chance of survival. A lone wolf and one pitiful and broken human against at least two abnormally strong vampires. It was no contest.

I allow my eyes to travel along the side of Paul I could see. Even though I knew I shouldn't wish it I wanted him to speak. We would argue, yell hurtful things that neither of us could take back, but at least I would feel something.

I knew I was in shock, I had spent months that way when Edward had left me that first time. My mind wouldn't let me process all that had happened. I was in a state of numbness. I wanted it gone.

I tried to picture images of the Cullens. Alice and Jasper during the training sessions and the playfulness with each other. Emmett and Rosalie and the intense look they always gave each other. Esme and Carlisle and the pure love they radiated. None of them moved me the way they should.

I moved on to the pack, what I knew of them. The friendship between Embry and Quil. The complicated relationship between Sam and Leah. Jared's ease at everything. Sweet Seth and his eagerness to learn. Still nothing.

Finally my mind produced two images. The crooked smirk of Edward and the loving smile of Jacob. The tears fell down from my eyes with little sound. I could hear both of them as they told me they loved me and wanted me.

I loved both of them very much. If I could have had both of them I would have gladly been selfish and kept them both at my side. Maybe this was my punishment, but why did they have to die? They didn't deserve this.

My stomach growled pulling me out of my thoughts. Paul hadn't fixed anything for breakfast before we left hours ago, and as of yet we hadn't stopped for anything. I was sure he was hungry, the wolves were always hungry. I opened my mouth to speak, but another growl filled the van. This one brought with it a painful cramp throughout my body.

"There is a bag just beside your head on the floor. I'm sure you could reach it. Inside there are some crackers and bread. It will have to do for now. We won't be stopping for a few hours, so if you have to piss or shit you better be able to hold it." Damn werewolf hearing!

"Do you have to be so crude, Paul?" I knew that was a stupid thing to say, but at the moment I couldn't have cared less.

"Do you have to be such a pussy, Bella? Get used to it. I don't care about your sensibilities, so shut the fuck up." I stuck my tongue out at him knowing I was acting like a child. After many tries I had finally grabbed the bag and reached in to find stale bread and a few broken crackers. Great, if the thirsty vampire didn't get to me first I would starve.

I decided that it would be best not to allow Paul to see my disgust and stuffed a piece of old bread in my mouth.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

I suppressed a laugh that wanted to erupt from my chest. I was sure once she found out about the other bag, the one filled with several loaves of fresh bread and other snacks, that she would have a fit. At the moment I was enjoying the look on her face as she ate the piece of stale bread. Even from where I sat I could smell the mustiness of it.

My own stomach hurt from lack of food, but this morning I had been a little preoccupied with stealing this van and getting out of there. As we were leaving the hotel parking lot I smelled it. The leech had been watching us.

I wondered what she was waiting for. One lone wolf wouldn't be much for her, mostly when I knew she had others with her. Her note kept running through my head. Was she playing another game? Her biggest obstacle had already been taken down, both the pack and the Cullens were out of the way. So why was she holding back?

Bella moaned from the back seat and I noticed the time. Shit, I had forgotten to give her her medication this morning. I hadn't wanted to stop until we were a good day out of that town, but the pills were sitting in the seat beside me.

I pulled off the side of the road and climbed over the seat with the bag in hand. When I reached her she had tucked her body into herself. I was sure the bandages across her stomach were already tinged red.

"Here, take these." I handed her the handful of pills and a bottle of water. She just glared at me and swatted my hand away. The pills went flying to the floor. Great, just great. Now what was wrong with her?

"I wasn't trying to kill you!" She sneered, actually sneered at me.

"I wish you would!" My hand lifted ready to smack her without me really realizing it, at the last moment I just cupped her chin roughly and shook it.

"What purpose would that serve? Your father is back in La Push waiting for you to return, what do you think would happen to him if you died? You are such a selfish brat! All you think about is yourself and your pain.

"Have you not thought about me? At least you still have your family. I have no one. All I had were the pack, and now because of you I have no one. When this is all over you get to go home to your father, you still have him and your mother. I get to go home to an empty house." I leaned in closer, my breath washing over her face.

"Or how about Billy. He lost his only son, his pride. Sue, who had just lost her husband now has to deal with the fact that she lost both her children. And Emily lost her cousin and her husband, the father of her child!" Bella started shaking so hard it reminded me how I shook before phasing.

"Emily is pregnant?" I thrust her face away from me and gathered the pills from the floor. She wanted to act like a bitch then she was going to have to deal with being treated like one.

I didn't answer as I shoved one pill after another in her mouth and forced her to swallow or get water all over her. After I finished I left her and went back to the steering wheel.

It was silent for several moments, but just before the pills took effect I swore I heard her softly whisper.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

(Rachel's POV)

Rebecca and myself walked into our childhood home. Sue had called the day before to warn us about our father. Neither of us was sure what was going on, no one wanted to tell us. The only thing that we knew was something happened to our little brother Jake.

Even with Sue's warning I wasn't prepared for what I found once I entered the living room. Our father was sitting in his wheelchair that he had parked in the middle of the room. He had old pictures spread around him and a bottle of Jack in his hand. An empty bottle.

He looked up at us glassy eyed and just nodded before looking back down at the picture in his hand. I moved to kneel beside him and too the photo. It was the one that Sue had taken right after Jake was born.

Dad had been sitting beside our mother on the hospital bed, in his arms he held Jacob tightly to his chest. He had been so proud. A son, his son.

"He was so headstrong, so stubborn. He loved her you know, had since he was a little kid. I shouldn't have encouraged it, but Charlie….we had this dream you see. Jake and Bella would get married one day and we would all be a family.

"It would have happened had those stupid leeches not been here!" I took the bottle from his hand, he had enough to drink that he was starting not to make any sense.

"Leeches?" What in the world happened?

"Rachel, Rebecca…you two better sit down. We have a lot to talk about." I turned my head to the doorway. There stood Sue and old Quil, both looking as broken as my father. I just nodded and took a seat on the couch behind Dad. I had a feeling that things were worse than I thought.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok, for awhile there I thought I wasn't going to get this done. My Muse suddenly died lastnight while writing this, but she is back so no worries.

Also, starting next chapter we will start moving forward in time. If I didn't we would end up with tons of filler chapters.


	12. Don't Close Your Eyes

Chapter Eleven: Don't Close Your Eyes;

(Bella's POV)

* * *

I fight the dizziness in my head as I watch the white lines on the road rush past. It is the only thing that I can do, besides stare straight up into the unchanging sky.

White blur, black top, white blur, black top, white blur….this has been my life for the past month. Charlie must have come through for us as we have yet to be pulled over for a stolen van. I know I should be grateful, now that I am awake I'm not sure I would enjoy riding in a truck bed. Not that being stuffed into the back set of this van was very enjoyable.

White blur, black top, white blur, dead cat, white blur. I smashed the heels of my palms into my eyes. I should be grateful, but I couldn't help but be resentful of everything. I was on the run with a man who hated my guts, being chased by the same vampire that killed both the men I loved and my adopted family.

Paul remained quiet from the front seat. We hadn't really talked the entire month, more fought. Every time one of us tried to even be civil the other would say something stupid and we would end up yelling at each other.

At the moment he was ignoring me after the explosive argument we had that morning. My legs were still covered from ankle to mid-thigh in heavy white casts. The skin beneath itched like crazy and I still needed his help with almost everything.

We had developed a routine of sorts. He would carry me into the bathroom whenever I needed to use the restroom, and just like that first night he would turn his head away and slip my panties down and set me on the toilet and leave. It was embarrassing, but better than having to wear a diaper.

Though I think the embarrassment of the diaper would have been better than what happened after I started my period. He had already had to deal with it once, but the diaper basically took care of everything. It was like pulling teeth to get him to get me my 'products' as he put it. He had decided that if he had to go and buy my stuff than it gave him free rein to make fun of me. The first two days he took to wearing a handkerchief around his nose and complaining about the smell.

I had found a tire iron under the seat the other day, when I was out of these casts I was going to smack him upside the head with it.

I turned my head and looked back down at the street below.

White blur, black top, white blur, black top, white blur….I was just so tired.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with me. With all the fighting we had been doing this past month you would think I would be wishing she was still out. But I was getting a perverse joy out of pissing her off.

I know it was wrong, but I can't seem to stop provoking her. Maybe it was because anger chased the guilt away. Silence, like the one filling the van now, only brought it to the forefront of my mind.

The guilt was crushing. I had spent almost every waking moment taking pleasure in informing Bella of her guilt in everyone's death. What I never told her was of my guilt. Sure I told her what actually happened, even down to the details I should have left out. But I never told her how I blamed myself for Jake's death.

I have wondered if I hadn't have listened to him, had I stayed put and fought along beside him would I have been able to save him? It eats at me every day, only I refuse to tell her that.

It is too quiet, even though we would end up fighting I wished she would speak. I would have put on some music, but one of our arguments over favorite bands resulted in me pulling the radio from the dash and flinging it into the back of the van. After that Bella had decided to treat me to three hours of corny rad songs. She came close to being strangled. Again.

I had yet to inform her about that. I had not allowed her to look in a mirror for the past month, so even if she could feel the soreness of her neck she wouldn't have been able to tell that the purple bruise was new.

More than once I have come close to encircling her throat with my hands again. Mostly at night when she is asleep. She still cries out for Jake or Edward, if it wasn't for the faint whispers of 'I'm sorry' and 'Forgive me' I would have done it.

I take a quick look into the back, she is still gazing out the window. I settle back to watch the road ahead of me. It was going to be a long and silent day.

* * *

(Rachel's POV)

Sobbing echoes through the house once again. Dad refuses to leave Jake's room except to use the bathroom. I can't even seem to get him to take a shower. All he does is lean sit in there day in and day out and cry or yell at invisible people. I fear that his mind is already too far gone.

I stare blankly at the wall in the front room as Dad starts in on his angry rant again. Cursing out the leeches that come back to Forks.

Leeches….vampires. When Sue and Old Quil had come that day I figured they would tell us that Jake died in a car accident, or maybe at worst that he had taken his own life. Instead they retold the old legends, claiming they were true. That our little brother was a Protector and had died in a war between them and an army of newborn vampires.

Rebecca had spat out at them that this was no joking matter and to cut it out. They just shook their heads and led us outside where two boys stood in nothing but cutoff jean shorts. Sue had nodded to them and before either of us could stop them, the boys shed their shorts and just exploded into two giant wolves.

It had taken everything in me to stay upright, Rebecca on the other hand screamed. She hadn't taken it well and after they had calmed her down she rushed into the house, called a cab and left to return to her husband. She had called when she had gotten home to tell me she was sorry, but she couldn't handle it and she wouldn't.

The next time I see her I promised myself I was going to smack her across the face. I understand that it is a lot to take in. I mean Vampires, Werewolves, these things are suppose to be in books not living in the room next to you. Even so she should have been stronger for our Dad. He needed help and I wasn't sure I could handle it on my own.

Sue came over almost everyday, but she was dealing with the loss of her own children. The twins helped out the best that they could, but with being the only wolves still on the reservation they had to spend most of their time patrolling. Emily had her own problems, though she was dealing with them rather well with Charlie Swan.

So, all in all I was alone in trying to deal with Billy. I had tried everything I could possibly think of short of having him commented. He wouldn't respond. Sue told me just a few days ago, after a really bad day, that he had tried to kill himself by setting the house on fire.

After hearing that I have removed all matches, lighters, knives and guns from the house. Anything I thought he might be able to use to kill himself. She had said he promised not to try it again, but I knew that he was lying.

I had had a friend my first year of collage. Moira was a year ahead of me. She was smart and rather flew through her classes. She had been a shy girl, a bit heavy but not overly. When I had first met her she had seemed happy, she was all smiles and laughter. It wasn't until I knew her for three months that I saw the real her.

After finding out that the guy she had liked since high school was getting married I had found her hunched up in one of the bathrooms. She had cried for hours that night, going on and on about how unworthy of this guy she was, of any guy. By the end of the year I had learned to see through her painted smiles to the depression underneath.

It was the last day of classes and I had wanted to celebrate by going out that night. When I went into her dorm room I found her on her bed with an empty bottle of pills and vodka on the floor beside her. She had been rushed to the hospital where once she was well enough for visitors I made her promise to never try that again. She smiled sadly and promised me. I hadn't heard from her all summer, the first day back the next year her old roommate told me that two weeks after I left for home she was found in her parent's bathroom with her arms slit open from wrist to elbow.

That had haunted me ever sense, so much so I started researching depression and suicide. Sadly in all my research I never thought to look up insanity.

And that was what Billy was, insane. The death of our mother had already pushed him in that direction. He had loved her with everything he had. He would have done anything to protect her or make her happy. The loss of his son seemed to send him over the edge.

I knew he loved us girls, but we had never been as close to him as Jake had. And now he was gone. I still could not believe my little brother was dead. When Collin would come by he would tell me about my baby brother, how huge he had gotten and strong. Only I never got to meet that Jake. I still remember him as the scrawny little boy with long messy hair and a goofy smile. I just can not see the Jake I knew fighting vampires.

A loud crash comes from Jake's room, pulling me from my thoughts. When I open the door I can't help but cry. Dad had fallen out of his chair again as he tried to crawl up onto the bed.

"Here Dad, let me help you." I wrap my small arms around his shoulders and start to lift him up. He just struggles which causes him to fall back onto the floor.

"No! I can do it! God damn it, he was my son! MY SON! I was suppose to be the one to protect him, but I couldn't…..I couldn't." He just sat there a moment before grabbing a hold of the blanket and pulling it on top of him. I move to try and help him up again, but he just slaps my hands away.

"Don't touch me! Just get away! Go away, you aren't suppose to be here. You filthy, bloodsucking trash!" I take a deep breath in. He was out of it again. More and more often he couldn't remember who I was. It hurt when he yelled at me, but I had to remember that he didn't mean it. Not about me anyway.

"Shh, Dad, it is me Rachel…" He quiets and cocks his head as he looks up at me, like a confused little puppy. I swallow back the lump that had formed in my throat, I had to stay strong for him. I could cry later when he was asleep.

"Rachel?" he brings the blanket up under his chin, holding it even more tightly to himself.

"Yes, Rachel. Look, I am not going to hurt you, I just want to help you." He nods his head, but as I kneel down in front of him he is crying again.

"He is gone, he is not coming back. I miss him, I-I want my baby boy. Rachel, why did he leave?" My stomach lurches and I can no longer keep it in. This man before me wasn't even a shadow of my father. He was like a scared and lost little boy, and I didn't know how or even if I could help him find his way.

I wipe away the tears from my cheeks and gather my shaking father in my arms, his head resting in the crook of my neck as he cries. I just hold him tighter and rock him back and forth as I run my hand through his hair.

"He didn't want to leave Dad, but he had to. To protect us." He just whimpered and crushed me to him. I was afraid that I may have just lost my father.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

Two days, she hasn't spoken a word to me in two days now. When she needs something she just grabs whatever is in reach and throws it at me. Then she makes me guess. At first I refused to play along, she would have to actually talk or she wasn't getting anything. Eventually I gave in after I got tired of getting random things chucked at my head.

I took deep breaths in order to calm myself. I haven't phased since we left and my body was humming with the built up energy. I am surprised that the anger hasn't forced me to phase yet. Normally it takes almost nothing to set me off.

I pull off of the road when I come across an old dirt turn off. Bella doesn't say anything, even though I am sure she knows we are no longer on the highway. I cut the engine once we reach a copse of trees.

"What are you doing?" So she finally decides that I am worthy of speaking to. For a moment I consider not answering her, let her see how it feels. But in the end I know that will only cause me grief.

"I haven't phased in around two months. Besides the fact that the built up energy is beginning to get really uncomfortable and I could randomly phase while driving, I really need to check in on the twins.

"You just stay here, I will just be inside the tree line. I will be able to see is anything or anyone gets near." I am only a few feet away from the van when I hear her mutter under her breath.

"Stay here he says! Where am I suppose to go? I can't even get off of this damn couch!" I chuckle lowly, when I first met that girl she wouldn't curse. Now little by little she was beginning to sound like me.

Once I was past the first couple of trees I shed my shorts and shirt and phase, I was not prepared for the images that flitted past my mind.

* * *

I was silent as I climbed back into the driver's seat. Apparently Bella had been asleep, because when I shut the door she jolted awake.

"So, how are things back home?" Her voice was thick with sleep, but was for once polite. I was grateful that she wasn't in a fighting mood. Even though I enjoyed our arguments to a certain degree, I wasn't up to one at the moment.

"There have not been any signs of vampires around La Push or Forks." I could hear her as she shifted in the seat, most likely trying to get a better look at me.

"Ok, that is good, but what about everyone else? How is Charlie, Emily, and Billy?" I noticed a slight waver in her voice, I knew it was caused by the guilt over the deaths of the pack.

"Your dad is doing good. He seems to be living at Emily's now. Collin said that he plans to help her out the best he can while she is pregnant. And Billy, he um…" I squeezed down on the steering wheel trying to keep myself from tearing up.

The pack mind was one of those things that was a blessing and a curse. You never had any secrets, but also it helped to create unique and strong bonds. Because of the pack mind we all had come to know Billy as though he were our father. While I may have never said anything, I cared for him and the knowledge of what was happening to him was killing me.

"Paul, what about Billy?" I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I wished the images would get out of my head.

"Rachel and Rebecca came home around a month ago, Sue told them the truth about what happened. Rebecca couldn't handle it and left her sister there to take care of their father.

"He is pretty bad. Collin had come over two days ago to check up on them and found them curled up on the floor of Jake's room. Apparently Billy has lost his mind. He can't distinguish between reality and fantasy and he tends to start yelling at nothing.

"When Collin found them he was muttering over and over that his boy was gone and never coming back." Bella was silent for a moment until the sound of her tears splashing on the seat reached my ears. I didn't say anything else, just started the van up and headed back onto the highway.

* * *

Author's Notes: Ok, this took longer than I had planned on, sorry about that. Now as I said there are going to be a few time jumps now, mostly because if I don't we will end up with chapter after chapter of filler.

I hope that I did the time jump smoothly enough, and continue to do so.

Sadly because of serveral different things going on, I will not have this done by the end of the month. I will try my best though to get it done within the next month. Everything depends on how certain things go.

Now, a quick note about Billy. When I started this I hadn't planned on really having any of the other characters in here very much. But as I started writing I realized the story was more than just about Bella and Paul, but even so I hadn't yet planned on what would happen with Billy.

At first I had planned on him maybe getting better and moving on in time. But when I sat down to start this chapter I realized that I needed to go in another direction. Only I had not realized how sad it would be, you should have seen me trying to write that bit with Billy on the floor. I was crying my eyes out it was hard to see what I was writing.

Ok, well hope you enjoyed, and now I'm off to start work on the next chapter! :D

Disclaimer: Don't own!


	13. Separate Me From The Living

Chapter Twelve: Separate Me From The Living;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

Ignorance is bliss. This was a phrase I had once hated. It was Edward's motto, but I hated being in the dark. I wanted to know what was going on. Not that I was a busybody, mind you, but if I was in danger or those I loved were I wanted to be informed.

I was beginning to re-think this idea.

Ever since Paul phased two weeks ago he has made sure to check in with the twins every other day. He never kept anything from me, always explained the happenings of La Push. I wish he didn't. I was glad that Charlie was helping Emily out. And that Sue and Kim were supporting each other. It was Billy that was bothering me.

Even though he had been confined to a wheelchair for the past few years, he was still one of the strongest and wisest men I knew. I couldn't imagine him the was Paul said. To think that Billy was so far gone that he couldn't even recognize his own daughter half the time. It hurt just about as bad as the deaths of the Cullens and the wolves.

Paul was silent at the moment. It had been a half hour at least since he returned from phasing and he hadn't spoken. Though neither have I. I hope he would take my silence as evidence that I didn't want to know. Of course he was just gathering himself, and would tell me soon enough.

"Brady says that Rachel is thinking about committing Billy. She can't handle it anymore. I guess he has spent the last two days holed up in Jake's room, curled up on the bed. All he does all day is talk to the wall as if it were Jake." I wrap my hand around my throat where a rather large lump has taken an almost permanent residence.

"If she does it will kill him." I hear him sigh as he turns off an exit heading towards a town.

"I know, but maybe that is what he wants. He already tried to kill himself before Rachel came. She is constantly waiting for him to try it again." A fresh wave of guilt shoots through me. I should have talked Jake out of going, talked all of the pack out of it. Sure I knew I would most likely be dead, but my single death would have caused much less heartache than the devastation the death of the pack did.

"I don't care if he does want to die. He can't. Rachel should have more sense than to leave her own father in the care of strangers. He needs her right now, her and everyone in La Push!" I can hear his breathing pick up and knew that something I said angered him.

"You are one to talk, Little Girl. Every damn day you spent with your leeches you put your own father in danger. Don't you dare talk about what is best for someone else's father. You have no right!" Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes and I forcefully wiped them away.

"Fuck you Paul! I have done everything I could to protect Charlie. Even if it broke his heart, I did what I had to." I could feel the van accelerate as he pushed down a little too hard on the gas.

"Not everything!" Neither of us said anything after that. I knew that this was bother Paul just as much, if not more than it was me. I could see it in the way he holds himself, the look in his eyes. Only a fool wouldn't believe that he cared for Billy.

* * *

(Rachel's POV)

I can't take it anymore. I love my father, but it is killing me to see him this way. For the past day he hasn't even responded to me. He eats when I bring food, allows me to put him back in his chair so he can make it to the bathroom, but he does it all while talking to that God damned wall.

I hang my head as I watch him drift off to sleep, thanks to the pill I crushed into his food. The guilt of what I plan to do is weighing me down. I don't want to commit him. He is my father, but I don't have the strength to care for him. I fear for my own sanity.

Collin and Brady are the only ones I have told so far. And that is only because they caught me looking up the number. They spent a good hour telling me why it was a bad idea, but even though they do turn into giant wolves, they are still kids. What do they know?

The front door opens and I am sure it is one of the twins. They come by every day now, sometimes two of three times. I don't even look up as the bedroom opens, not until a voice that does not belong to the boys speaks.

"I know you think that this is a good idea, to get professional help. But I don't think it is." Old Quil stood in the doorway, his long white hair woven into a braid that trailed down his back. This was one man that radiated more power and wisdom than even my father.

"I'm tired, and I can't help him the way he needs. If he is in a hospital then…"

"Then he will die. You have spent too much time away child. Billy, he has lost his way, yes. But he will find his path and return to us. This can't happen if he is away from here.

"His spirit resides here, the spirit of his son is here. If he leaves his spirit will wither and die like an un-watered plant." Old Quil always had a way of chastising you with kind words. As a child I hated when he would be the one to catch me doing something wrong. Somehow his reprimands always made you feel worse than Dad's yelling.

"But I can't help him, it is killing me just trying." He just shook his head and came to sit beside me. He placed a withered and bony hand under my chin so he could force me to look at him.

"You have allowed your spirit to wilt, this is why you are so weak. Listen child, your father needs you. You are going to have to find the will to do what needs to be done. It may take time, and you will get weary, but if he stays here he will find his way back.

"Don't let him die. Think about what your brother sacrificed, for your father, for you and the whole tribe. Be strong." He leaned in and I felt his dry and cracked lips leave a kiss on my forehead. He was gone a moment later without another word.

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

I sit on the couch in the front room as Emily cooks dinner. The TV is muted, even though the game is on. I haven't been able to pay attention to a single game since all this happened. It was bad enough that my little girl was off somewhere running for her life from a vampire. That Jake and the rest of the pack were dead. But now to have Billy, a man who is practically a brother, go completely off his rocker? I wasn't sure how much more I could take.

The smell of stake fills the house, but I find that I am not that hungry. I had visited a couple of days ago, only to find Billy sobbing like a child clutching to a blanket. According to Rachel he just keeps getting worse day by day.

"Dinner is ready Charlie. Come eat." I just nod and follow her to the table. We don't talk for awhile, both of us picking at our meal. I raise my head as I hear her take in a breath.

"I think, Charlie, that you should move in here permanently." I stare at her blankly for a moment. Sure I have not spent a night at my house since this all started, but I had always planned on going back once Paul returned.

"Um, ah…I-I don't want to intrude Emily. You have been kind and I appreciate that. But I only planned to stay here to help you out until everything was over. I really don't want to be in your way." she rolled her eyes at me in the way she did when she was annoyed, but more amused. I found myself finding it cute. Many things she did I seemed to find cute.

"You are not in my way. In fact I enjoy having you here. I was hoping when Paul and Bella returned that they would move in as well. I already told Paul that this was his home.

"The thing is, I have become so used to a full house. With Sam being Alpha this was sort of like headquarters. There was not a day that I didn't have at least half the pack over here. And I can't tell you how many times one of the boys crashed the night on my couch. I miss it, and well I was…" I stopped her by taking her hand in mine and giving her a smile.

"I'll call in tomorrow and maybe we can borrow one of the boys to help us pack and move my stuff over." The smile that spread across her face was not cute, it was beautiful.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I was bored, not just bored, but bored to death. We have been holed up in this roadside motel for the past two days. It wasn't so bad at first, well if you could get past the greasy looking carpet and the gross stains on the sheets.

Of course in true Bella and Paul fashion we had gotten into another argument only six hours after we checked in. This time over what to watch on the TV. I had turned to the Food Network, hoping the calming sounds of cooking would relax me. Apparently Paul didn't find it so soothing. In fact he began to make fun of most of the chefs, and angry at a few of them.

He stole the clicker from me after yelling about not being able to stand one more BAM, and turned to some move that had way too much skin for my liking. He of course thought the blush covering my entire body was funny and started teasing me about my non-existent love life. After a good half hour of crude comments and suggestions from him I started tossing whatever I could reach at his head.

I ended up busting through the TV with the alarm clock. Now we had no TV, and when he packed he didn't bring any books. So all we had to do was sit here and stare at the wall all day long.

What fun...

"Paul?" He only grunted at me. I waited to see if he would acknowledge me. I was getting tired of feeling like I was talking to an animal.

"You are going to have to say more than that girl. I am not a mind reader." I cringed at the comment, though I knew he hadn't meant it cruelly.

"I need to use the bathroom." He huffed, but got up and slid his arms under my legs and back. Again he kept me faced away from the mirror. What was so bad that he wouldn't allow me to see myself? No matter where we were he always made sure I wasn't around a mirror.

After he left I did my business and started to scoot over to the tub to wash my hands like I normally would. I stopped when I noticed that the sink and mirror in this bathroom were rather low. I placed my hands on the edge of the sink and pulled the best I could until I was leaning over it enough that I could look in the mirror.

"Oh…" I have never been all that vain. I always knew I was a rather plain girl, but now… Four large scars ran down from temple, across my face to under my other ear. I could tell that something had been wrong with my face, it always felt so tight. Now I knew why. I looked less human and more like someone tried to sculpt a face out of minced beef.

They were healed, but raised and slightly pink like fresh scars are. I knew in time they would fade to a white. They would age me by years. I wasn't even plain anymore.

"What is taking you so…oh God Bella, why did you…" Paul stood in the doorway looking for the first time as though he actually pitied me. Though of course he would, who wouldn't pity someone ugly like I was?

"You should have just told me." He came into the room and picked me up in his arms. We sat down on my bed, side by side where he wiped the tears off of my deformed cheeks. Tears I hadn't even known I was crying until that moment.

"It wouldn't have done any good. Only upset you more." I looked at him incredulously. Upset me more? Where the hell was the Paul I knew?

"Why would you care if it upset me?" He reared back as though I had slapped him and moved across the room to sit on his own bed.

"I don't."

* * *

(Paul's POV)

For just a moment I could see the little girl she had once been. Innocent and vulnerable. For that moment I actually liked her. Then she had to open her mouth.

I know it was mostly my fault she acted the way she did. I have never appeared to her as caring anything for her. And I didn't, so why did it bother me when she acted as though I hated her guts?

I shook my head clear of those thoughts and lie back down. After Bella broke the TV there wasn't much to do. I didn't feel like fighting with her. Especially now after she'd seen her face. She wasn't the type of girl to dress up and primp, but she was still a girl. The damage done to her would bother her. Hell it would bother me if it had been my face.

I try to ignore the soft sobbing coming from the other bed, though I know it is hopeless. I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

* * *

Author's Notes: Alright, I actually got this done pretty quick! I was going to wait and post this in a few days, but friday I leave for the faire and won't be back til Sunday evening. But also I doubt I will be in the mood for writing then, besides being busy for the next few weeks, we have some personal stuff dealing with the move.

Until then I am going to try and get as much written as possible without making the story sound rushed. The next chapter actually is going to be an improtant one. Both Bella and Paul will reach their breaking point. I already have some of it written out, so hopefully I'll have it out really soon.

Disclaimer: Don't own!


	14. All that's Left Of Yesterday

Chapter Thirteen: All That's Left Of Yesterday;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

Ugly. I was no longer just plain, but actually ugly. My mind just kept going back to that image of myself I had seen in the mirror two weeks ago. The scars cut straight across my face, there would be no way to hide them. Maybe I deserved them. I was a monster on the inside, why not look like one on the outside?

I have been the one avoiding mirrors this time.

Paul barely talks to me anymore, he rarely even tries to pick fights with me. He grunts or completely ignores me. A few weeks ago I would have relished in this new found silence. Not now. I find myself most days trying to get a rise out of him, anything to get my mind off of everything I have lost.

The shower in the bathroom switches on and I can hear him as he tries to fit into the too small stall. We are currently staying in one of the creepiest motels I think in America. It was one of those budget places that is all one level, the kind of place that rents everything from hourly to monthly.

Sadly this was the only place with any rooms available, and Paul has been driving for almost two days straight.

I can hear him curse after a loud bang echoes from the bathroom. Not only was this place creepy and gross, but also small. More like a large closet. There was one bed, which the sheets and comforters I swear are the same ones they had when the place opened in nineteen-seventyone. Green shag carpet, with balding spots. And to top it all off the lights buzzed. Loudly.

I contain my smile as Paul stumbles out of the bathroom trying to pull on his shorts. He gets them over his hips, but leaves them unzipped. It is strange, a couple of months ago seeing any male nude would have caused me to blush so hard that I would surely look like a cherry. Since I woke up I learned one thing, privacy was now a thing of the past.

Paul stopped trying to maintain modesty around me only a few days after I awoke. There was no point to it really, he had already seen everything there was of me. I guess it was only fair.

"God damned shower, who was this fucking place built for? The fucking Lollipop Guild?" Paul marched past the bed and right out the door. Since we stopped here he had spent as little time as he could around me, deciding instead to sit outside the room.

"Paul?" Again he just grunted, I was really, really getting tired of that.

"Paul?" He stomped back into the room and slammed the door shut.

"What the fuck do you want, huh?" I opened my mouth and closed it a few times, not sure how to ask what I wanted to.

"I'm not your dead boyfriend here, can't read that puny mind of your's. So?" He may have not been trying to pick fights with me, but when he did actually speak anymore it was mostly insults.

"Fuck you! God, can't you just for once be civil? I just wanted to ask if you have smelled Victoria lately?" He ran his hand through his hair, his fingers clenching around the roots and pulling.

"All the damn time! She hasn't given up, just follows at a distance. What the fuck is wrong with leeches? She could have killed us at any time, but she keeps playing this cat and mouse with us. And I am getting fucking tired being a damned rodent." He laid down on the bed beside me staring straight up at the ceiling.

This whole thing reminded me too much of what happened the first time I met Victoria. She may not be a tracker, but she was playing James' part well. The problem was that the only reason I survived that first time was because I had an entire coven on vampires protecting me. Now I had one wolf. I wasn't sure what we were going to do when Victoria got bored.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

The look on Bella's face when she saw herself in the mirror had been playing constantly in my head for the past two weeks. She had looked so defeated, so much like a child. In that one moment I had wanted to do nothing but hold her. I know now that I would have, had she not lashed out at me.

It may have taken me awhile, but I guess I realized that I didn't hate her. Maybe I would go so far as to say that I like her, but I don't actually hate her anymore. It was that look in her eyes that did it. She looked so much like Jake's Bella then, before the Cullens returned and she broke his heart.

I keep asking myself why her words had upset me, why it hurt me for her to think that I don't care. So far I have no answer, no answer that I am willing to accept.

Bella sighs beside me and I know she is bored. I turn on my side and prop my head on my hand. She looks at me from the corner of her eye, but her face remains set the same. Blank. I reach my hand up and without thinking about I trace my fingers over the scars on her face. I expected a reaction, but not the one I got.

She flung one arm up and grabbed my wrist, the other coming around to smack me straight in the face.

"Ow! Fuck! Damn it Paul, do you have to keep acknowledging these stupid scars? I know they are ugly, but could you not bring attention to them?" I can hear a sob in her voice, and that look is back into her eyes. I try to ignore the fact that she smacked me, it really didn't hurt at all. Only my pride got bruised.

"Bella, I…" I didn't get to finish because she just squeezed my wrist tighter and shouted at me.

"You what? Come on Paul, out with it! I know you are just dying to tell me how hideous I look. How I deserve all of this, how unworthy I am. Come on, tell me what a monster I am and how I finally look like I should." She was panting by the time she finished, tears falling down the sides of her face. I just pulled my hand from her's and stood from the bed.

"Damnit! Paul would you just say something already!" I stopped my movement towards the door as the back of my head was hit with her pillow.

"Fine, you want me to say something? You want me to explain to you how guys will find you unattractive? How they will make fun of you whenever they see you? How you will most likely end up bitter and alone and die a virgin? Ok…" I have never seen such fire in her eyes as I saw in that moment. I knew I had gone to far. I remember Jake's memories and the things he knew about Bella. Being alone was one of her biggest fears. Maybe I should have ignored her and went to cool off like I had planned to. But this had been building since she woke up. It was bound to happen.

She clenched her hands together and leaned up the best she could before she spat at me.

"Why couldn't it have been you?" Her words were sharp and spit out with so much venom.

"Me what? You are making no sense stupid girl." Her eyes narrowed, and her lips turned into a sneer. I had never seen Bella look anywhere near that angry.

"Why couldn't it have been you that died that day? Why not you so Jake could live? You keep telling me that it was all my fault, but from what you have told me you share just as much of the guilt. It should have been you that day!" Her words left me paralyzed momentarily. My chest hurt and I could feel the pizza we had earlier rise up into my throat. I had to get myself under control or I would phase right there and kill her myself.

"You don't think I know that you Bitch? He ordered me to find you and Seth, fucking ordered me! I know I should have never left, but he…you know what? Maybe I should just let the leech have you, you ungrateful, spiteful little bitch!" I wanted so much to hurt her at that moment, but the image of the dreams I had at the beginning of this all stopped me. As angry as she made me, I couldn't kill her. I wouldn't be that monster.

Instead I walked out of the room without looking back and slammed the door. I paced a few times before leaning against the van's front tires, just staring at the motel door.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

He left. I made him leave, and I was sure he wasn't going to come back. I couldn't believe I actually said those things.

Did I wish that Jake had lived? Yes, but to actually wish another's death for him to live…that really did make me the monster I thought I was. Paul had done so much for me, he was risking his life just for mine, and I throw that at him. That I wished he were dead.

I have never even wished death on James or Victoria with the amount of venom as I did when I yelled at Paul.

Tears fell from my eyes, but I didn't bother to wipe them away. I deserved it if he never came back.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" I really doubted he was listening, but I still repeated it over and over again until my throat was dry and sore.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok I know not the longest of chapters, but I thought it was a good place to stop. This would have been out sooner, but I was at the faire this weekend...and well the place I stayed, let's just say it was the insperation for the motel Paul and Bella are in.

Believe me, worst place ever, got no sleep as the beds were hard like pieces of wood. The room was small, and oh yeah the shower sucked and got first degree water burns on my right hand...but at least the faire was good! It was funny seeing guys' reaction to my costume. ;)

Anywho, this is the turning point in Paul and Bella's relationship. Things will start changing for them in the next couple of chapters.


	15. I've Got To Breathe

Chapter Fourteen: I've Got To Breathe

* * *

(Paul's POV)

"_Why couldn't it have been you?" Why, why, why?_

Those words just keep running through my head. I have tried to ignore them, to ignore her. It is useless. My world has become nothing more than the road and her. How this came about I am not sure. At the beginning of this all it had been so much easier.

I hated her, that was an emotion I could handle. One I understood. Even if she didn't deserve my anger, it was much better for me. Now? Now that hate is gone. Even now after she spit out at me that she wished I were dead, I no longer can hate her.

She is silent in the back of the van. Has been for the past three days. We haven't spoken since that last argument. She just lays back there and quietly cries, I sit here and pretend that I don't hear her soft spoken apologies. We would have to speak sooner or later, but not until I got my head in order.

I roll my head on my shoulders trying to get the tension out of my neck. Bella's voice still echoes in my head, and every venom laced word makes my chest ache. How could I have let such a slip of a girl bother me so much?

I glance in the back of the van. She has her eyes closed and her hands crossed over her stomach. I have seen that posture before. In Jake's head. It was the same way she always stood when they first started hanging out. Back when she was trying not to fall apart after her leech left her.

The images in my head and of her in the van caused a particularly violent pang in my chest. It should have been me that day. I know it. If I had done more to ignore Jake's command I could have covered him. Maybe he would have lived, even if it meant I would have died.

It should have been me. I had nothing to go back to. No one waiting for me. Jake, he had his father, his sisters, Bella. I had…have no one. So why was I the one to survive?

* * *

(Bella's POV)

How could one continue to live when three forth's of their soul was already dead? I had finally healed when Edward came back. Even with everything between Edward, Jake and I, I was finally whole. When they died, when all the Cullens and the entire pack died, I lost myself again.

Half of me died, had been torn away and burned that very day. I didn't think that I could loose more of myself. I was wrong. The look in Paul's eyes tore another part of my soul out.

I couldn't believe it when he had come back. He had every right to just leave me for Victoria to find. To return home and continue on with his life. But he came back. I haven't outwardly spoken to him. I know he can hear me when I whisper under my breath that I am sorry, but he doesn't respond. Not that I blame him.

The silence has gotten to me. It may have only been three days, but the pain that I can see practically bleeding from him hurts me more than I thought it would. I want him to yell at me, hell he could hit me if only that pain in his eyes would go away.

I press my arms even more tightly against my stomach. It hurts, like hell. The wounds there have long healed, but the scars are puckered and ragged. Evidence of the infection from before I woke up. The slashes had broken open, and as Paul was no doctor he was not able to help when they healed up wrong.

The scars pulled on my skin when I moved and the muscles beneath burned when I touched them. I didn't care, the physical pain helped drown out the emotional ones.

My voice was scratchy and raw as I whispered once again that I was sorry. He was still silent as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

I open the door to Em…my house and step inside. The smell of fried steak fills the air causing my stomach to growl. I hear a soft giggle from the doorway to the kitchen.

Emily is leaning against the frame, a soft green apron draped over the rounded swell of her belly. She is smiling, that same beautiful smile she gave me when I agreed to move in. She is a sweet young woman, always kind and slow to anger.

"Hungry are we?" She laughs again as she moves back into the kitchen.

"Go wash up. Dinner should be ready as soon as you are done." I don't say a word, just do as she says. Since this all happened I learned one thing. If you want food from this woman, just obey. And believe me, everyone wanted food from her.

As soon as I'm washed and changed I am at the table. I scrunch my brows when I notice four plates. It is not unusual to see one extra. Emily always sets a place just incase either Collin or Brady are hungry. One of them are always on patrol, so I wasn't sure who the fourth plate is for. Emily must have caught my expression because she came to stand beside me with a soft sigh.

"Rachel and Billy are coming for dinner tonight." It was a good thing I hadn't started to eat yet. I had seen Billy just yesterday and he was still pretty out of it. Crying and talking to the wall as if it were Jake.

"Is that a good idea? I mean, Billy is my friend and all, but when I saw him….well he is pretty crazy." I felt her hand clasp my shoulder tightly. It hurt to see the man I considered a brother in such a state. I tried not to let it get to me, but when he started mumbling about Jake it just got too much.

"Maybe not, but Old Quil is adamant that we need to make things as normal as we can for him." I looked at her with a raised brow.

"Normal? Em, his son…his werewolf son his dead. How can anything be normal again for him? He has lost so much. You should have seen him after Sarah died. I believe if it hadn't been for Jake we would have gone just as crazy as he is now. That boy was his lifeline." I knew Billy loved his daughters, but they had drifted apart. They were good girls, but they never wanted a life here on the Rez. Because of this they left. The distance in the relationship with their father had been of their own making.

Billy was a family man. Unlike myself he had no problems expressing his feelings. I couldn't count how many times I had heard him tell Jake he loved him. Even just a couple of weeks before he was killed.

I had been over at their house after fishing. Jake had come in and seen the load we had caught and offered to clean and dress them. I had gone to see what game I could get on their dismal little TV and from the kitchen I could hear their whispered conversation.

At the time I hadn't understood much of it. In fact I was rather confused as to why they were talking about leeches. But the one thing I did understand was when Billy had reached over to pat his son's arm and quietly tell him he loved him. Jake had smiled and returned the sentiment, albeit with an "old man" attached to it.

Jake had been just like his father. Not afraid to express himself. It had been that reason he had gotten himself killed. His love for my daughter.

I was so far in thought I hadn't noticed the front door had opened or that Billy was no pushed in beside me. He sat there, his eyes focused across the table at nothing in particular.

"Hey Billy. Good to see you." Em and Rachel smiled and nodded at me. I wasn't sure what they expected me to do. I wasn't good at this. Though it didn't really seem to matter as Billy remained silent.

No one spoke through most of the meal. Rachel had to cut up the stake and potato for Billy. He picked at it, in the end she had to feed it to him piece by piece. I could tell Emily was trying not to cry as he looked at his daughter as she set a cube of meat in his mouth.

By dessert I was beginning to think this was the worst idea anyone could think up. How could this be helping Billy.

"I think little Jake has a crush on your Bella. I caught them yesterday out back playing in the mud. Bella had made a couple of pies. Luckily I got there, Jake was actually going to eat them.

"When you left he got so upset, he wanted his Belly back. Sarah here has been gushing about it ever since. Thinks it would be a wonderful thing if they grew up and ended up getting married. Don't you Honey?" Billy turned to Rachel and laid a hand on her wrist. Everyone was silent for a moment before Rachel nodded her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Of course. They would make a cute couple." I put my fork down. I remember this conversation. Only it had taken place over ten years ago. Bella and Jake had been playing while we had been fishing. The next night we went over to Billy's for dinner. Sarah had cooed and gushed over how Jake followed Bella everywhere.

After that Billy took his fork back from Rachel and began to eat. To an outsider he would have looked as sane as anybody. Only he wasn't. He kept speaking about things that happens so many years ago, before Jake died, before Sarah died. Everyone just nodded and played along, no one knowing what to do.

* * *

I turned my can of beer in my hand over and over again as I watched the stars above me. Billy and Rachel left over an hour ago and I have been out here since. The screen door off to the right of me squeaks, but I just ignore it. I know Emily has come to check on me. With good reason too, I almost lost it there at the end when in his insanity Billy had begun to pat Emily's belly. He had mistaken her this time for Sarah and spoke with pride how he couldn't wait to hold his son.

The porch swing creaked as Em sat beside me all wrapped up in a blanket. She leaned over and I took her into my arms, the can of beer now forgotten on the table beside me. She just snuggled up to my chest trying to get warm.

"He will get better. You just have to believe he will." I just shook my head. He was just so far gone, I wasn't sure how he could ever find his way back.

"I knew things like this could happen. Even though Forks is a pretty quiet town, we have had our fair share of murders and accidents. I have seen this before. We had gotten a call late one night, around two in the morning.

"An older couple had heard screaming from the house next door. They were worried because their neighbors, a young couple with a newborn, were normally quiet. They never caused problems. I had gone out with one of the rookies that night, thinking it was a typical domestic. Most likely the couple had gotten into a fight and got a little loud.

"We had knocked several times before we realized something was wrong. We ended up just knocking the door down. To this day I will never forget what I saw. The wife was sitting on the floor with her baby cradled in her arms. She was crying and trying to get the child to eat.

"The only thing was the child was dead, had been for days. Turns out the husband was having problems at work and with depression. From what the Coroner said, the child had died of a concussion, most likely from a blow to the back of his head. The father had killed himself shortly after. No one knows what actually happened, the wife went crazy.

"She was scent to the hospital where they admitted her. I got a call a few months later that she killed herself. I read the hospital reports after that. She had been having delusions." I stopped for a moment and held onto Emily tighter.

"Em, Billy is acting just like that woman and I…" I had to stop and swallow back my tears. Emily pulled from my embrace and grabbed a hold of my face in her small hands.

"Stop holding it in. Charlie, your daughter is on the run, fearing for her own life. Your best friend is…sick, stop holding it in." With that I felt the hot tears as they ran down my cheeks. I had cried when I thought Bella was going to die, but I had refused continue.

Emily just held me as I let it out. My daughter may still be alive, but God what were the chances she would actually come back alive? Billy was my brother, and he couldn't even recognize his own child. I looked up into Emily's warm eyes. She was so caring, so loving. I didn't think, only acted as I leaned down and pressed my lips to her's. Maybe it was wrong, but at the moment I couldn't have cared less. I needed her comfort.

* * *

(Emily's POV)

Charlie's lips were hot and rough. His mouth tasted like warm beer and peppered steak. I knew I should have pulled away. Besides the fact that he was much older that I was, Sam had not been gone all that long.

One of his hands slipped behind my back and into my hair, the other rested gently against my stomach. This kiss was not one filled with passion, not one with lust. It was sad and lonely, it was desperate. It was one filled with the need for comfort and love, for companionship.

Instead of pulling back I pushed forward, pressing myself more into his embrace. Let me be cursed for this should it be deemed that I deserve it. But I have been strong long enough.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok, first off for those that didn't want to see Charlie and Emily together, sorry.

Here is my reasoning behind it. There are many different types of love, some are passionate and some as comfortable. the whole thing between these two is one of comfort. I don't see this as Charlie taking advantage, or Emily disrespecting Sam's memory. In fact I think Sam...reluctantly... would have wanted her to move on. She is young and pregenant, he would have wanted her to be taken care of.

That is what the thing between her and Charlie is, yes they will form feeling towards one another, but this is mostly at this point about both of them needing comfort and in the end they are the only ones that can understand what each other is going through.

That being said, I hope those that maybe squicked or whatever about this pairing, can forgive me but it just felt right when it came to this story.

Also, some have commented on Victoria. I plan on having maybe one more in her POV, but that will be later on. For those who are wondering why she hasn't just attacked already, all I will say is that she is playing a game and she just wants to lead them into a false sense of security. she doesn't want to strike until it is to the point where they are tired and are beginning to believe that she is just never going to attack. so that is why she is allowing them to just run off like that.

As for what Paul and Bella are going to do about Victoria...um...I will leave it at that!

One last thing I want to cover as many have asked, Rachel was orginially not suppose to be in the story, and I have had the ending planned since before I ever wrote the preface, so you can pretty much figure that in relation to Paul she is not improtant to the story. But she is important with Billy.

Next chapter will hopefully be out in a day or two, this story is actually getting close to the end, most likely ten chapters at the most, so I will be working on the Bella/Sam story as well so I have a few chapters to post as soon as I finish this one. Also there will be more Bella/Paul in the next one. But I couldn't have them make up just a chapter after the big blow up so...off now to write some more!

Disclaimer: Don't own!


	16. Never Alone In The Darkness

Chapter Fifteen: Never Alone In The Darkness

* * *

(Bella's POV)

The silence had finally gotten to me. I couldn't take this anymore. Everyday for the past week he has refused to speak, he doesn't even grunt anymore. Just absolute and total silence.

I watch as Paul pulls several clothes from our bags. With my legs and the scarring we can't exactly go to a laundry mat without gaining too much attention. Instead he normally hand washes them in the tub and hangs them wherever he can.

"Paul…" He doesn't even turn his head towards me, just carries the clothes into the bathroom. I have to get him to speak to me, I fear I will go insane if he doesn't.

"Paul, please…" He slams the bathroom door shut and I can hear the water running. At least I know he can hear me. When he finally leaves the bathroom he has a handful of wet shirts that he haphazardly hangs over chairs and even one of the lamps.

"Paul, I know you are angry with me, but come on." He just flops down on his side of the bed and turns on the TV. Loud.

"How much money do we have left? I am sure we are running low by now?" Click, click, click. The channels on the TV move so fast I was sure it would give me a headache.

"What are we going to do when we run out of money? I am sure Charlie would wire us some money. I have some left of my savings." Click, click, click. He turns the volume up and continues to flick through the channels.

"Do you think we could remove my casts now? They really are starting to bother me." Click. The TV goes silent as he shuts it off. Instead of answering me he tosses the remote across the room and rolls on top of me. His huge hands take hold of the sides of my face and he just stares at me. Still silent.

I am not sure how long he remains that way, eventually he moved off of me and stormed out of the room. I just laid there staring at the closed door. What the hell was that?

* * *

(Paul's POV)

What the fuck was I about to do? I wasn't sure if I wanted to smack her, choke her, or…or…or God damn it! Kiss the bitch! I was so frustrated and she was driving me insane.

I leaned over the hood of the van and tried to control my breathing. I could feel my wolf under my skin, ready to burst out. This wasn't back home and I had to get control of my damned phasing. I was Alpha now and what a poor Alpha would I be if I couldn't even handle a slip of a human girl?

I take a few deep breaths and place my head on the cooling hood. I didn't know what to do. She was right, we were running out of money. I have tried my best to stretch our funds. These scary cheap ass motels are evidence of that. As well as the convenience store meals.

After a half hour I realize I am starting to garner attention. Not that I blame the people gawking at me. A man of my size with his head stuck to the hood of a van, a rather strange picture I was sure. I just stood and walked back into the room. It didn't matter that I was frustrated or upset. Things needed to be done. One of those things I really wanted to skip at the moment. It didn't help at all with the frustration.

Bella was still watching the door as I came in. Her huge brown eyes almost now permanently shinning with tears. I remained just as silent as before, not even acknowledging what had happened. I walked straight past her and into the bathroom where I filled the tub up part way with warm water and set out the soap and shampoo that was provided by the motel.

Bella didn't say a word as I lifted her and sat her down on the toilet. She lifted her arms as I started to undress her. As soon as she was completely nude I dipped a washrag into the water and proceeded to wash down her body.

After she woke we had tried having her do it herself. She had the ability to use her upper body so I figured she wouldn't need any help. Of course I had forgotten to take into account how clumsy she was. Not two steps out of the bathroom and I heard her yelp and a crash. She had fallen into the tub with her legs straight up in the air. It was a wonder she hadn't busted her head open on the wall.

I worked quietly to scrub down every inch of her exposed skin. All the while reining in my bodies reactions. Call me a pervert is you want, but I was still a man and at the moment I had a very nude woman in my arms.

I fumbled the rag and almost fell back as her small hand slipped over my cheek to cup my face. I looked up into her eyes and she gave me a small wet smile. She looked so sad and broken.

"I am so sorry Paul. I…I never should have said those things to you. I didn't mean it. You have done nothing but help me through all of this. And what do I do? I fight you all the way. I don't want to fight anymore.

"I am so tired Paul. So tired. I just want it to be all over. Just to end it. Please, you are the only thing I have right now and I don't want to be alone. I don't want this silence. I understand if you hate me. Go ahead and hate me, yell at me, whatever. But please don't leave me alone." Her lips were trembling as she spoke. I slipped my own hand up to her cheek and pulled her head down to rest against mine.

"I don't. I mean I don't hate you. Not anymore. I just…it is this situation. I am just as tired as you are. I…I'm sorry as well. I think maybe we both said things that would better be forgotten." She nodded against my forehead. We sat like that for a moment, neither asking or giving forgiveness. It didn't need to be said.

"Alright. Now, let's get you washed up. I would like to take a shower before we go to bed."

* * *

The room is once again silent. Only now it has more to do with the fact that the woman next to me is asleep than me ignoring her. I had been childish. The silent treatment, really?

Bella moans quietly in her sleep and her little arms reach out for a body she will never hold again. I turn over on my side and move until I am right beside her. One of her hands land on my shoulder and she stops squirming.

I close my eyes as her hand runs down the length of my arm and slips beneath to wrap around my waist. Instead of moving her I just wrap my arm around her and hold her to me the best I can without hurting her.

It has been a long time since I have been sought out as a source of comfort in the night. A long time since I have felt the warmth of another body pressed to mine for nothing more than sleep. I have forgotten what it felt like.

I don't know what I'm doing. Why her words, her tears, her everything affects me. The only thing I do know was the moment earlier when she took back her words, when she held my cheek, some heavy something was removed from my chest.

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

I sit up in bed, careful not to disturb the woman next to me. My eyes run over the curved form beside me. I know I should feel guilty, taking comfort inside her body as I have since that night a week ago. I should be disgusted at myself, only I couldn't find the will to care.

I run my fingers gently over the curve of her hip, into the dip of her stomach and around over the swell of her abdomen. The next few months she would fill out and be even more beautiful. Pregnancy looked wonderful on Emily.

She turns slightly and I can just make out the fullness of her breasts.

"Why are you up? Go back to sleep Charlie." I slip down beside her and cover both of us up before gathering her in my arms.

"Just couldn't sleep is all. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I can feel her hair as it slides across my chest. I reach one of my hands up to run through the ink black strands.

"It's ok." Her voice is soft and it tickles across my skin. I may not be in love with this woman, but I did love her. She was so fragile and yet so strong.

Her breathing evened out, but I refused to go back to sleep. At the moment I was just content to watch her. I made a silent promise then to Sam. I would take care of this woman till the day I died. As long as I was breathing Emily and his child would never have to worry. I would protect them to my last breath.

* * *

(Billy's POV)

The walls of this room feel like they are closing in on me. My mind feels like it is no longer my own. I keep having these waking dreams of a life long passed.

My father used to tell me that life was a journey on a path. It may twist and turn, but it always headed in the right direction. I had been on my path for many years. There have been stones which have stumbled me. Like when Sarah died or I ended up in my wheelchair. But I have always managed to remain on the path.

Somehow I know that I have taken a wrong turn. The path is no longer before me and I am now lost. I am not sure how to find my way back. Nor am I sure I want to.

The shadow across the wall moves and I know he has come to visit me again. He keeps telling me that it is time to move on. But how can I continue on when he is gone?

He sits on the bed beside me and I swear he is real. I can feel his hand as it runs briefly through my hair and then takes my hand. I can see that sparkle in his eyes that I feared would be diminished after Bella broke his heart.

"You need to wake up now Dad. You need to continue on for me." He stands and I reach out to take his hand back, but he just shakes his head and fades back into the shadows. The tears fill my eyes again and I curl myself back into the blankets. I don't want to wake up. When I do I know that it will be real. And he will be gone. Forever.

* * *

Author's note: Ok, my muse, she is on a role huh? Anyway, I hope the makeup with Paul and Bella was alright. I didn't want to drag it out, but I also was worried this would sound too rushed. So I'm crossing my fingers.


	17. Don't Be Afraid To Open Your Eyes

Chapter Sixteen: Don't Be Afraid To Open Your Eyes;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

Men always complain that women are hard to understand. That they themselves are simple creatures. I wholeheartedly disagree with that statement. Of course it could just be the man I'm with now. I am not sure what to make of Paul.

Since I woke up I have thought he hated me, yet he still risked his life to save my own. Then two weeks ago when I apologized he did almost a complete turn about. Almost.

He still has the tendency to make rude remarks, but he has at least refrained from being cruel.

It is not just the lack of his acidic attitude, but his reactions to me as well. That next morning I had woken up to Paul wrapped around me, one hand wound in my hair and his lips pressed against my neck. I knew I should have been upset by this, only his arms felt so good. And the heat of his breath as it washed over my bare skin sent my heart beating wildly. I was glad he hadn't woken up. He would have surely heard the frantic pounding of my heart.

The next few mornings were the same, eventually two nights ago I dropped the pretence of actually sleeping on opposite sides of the bed. I think I shocked Paul when after he got into bed I grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards me and proceeded to wrap his arms around my waist.

I am lying now awake. The clock beside the bed reads four in the morning. Paul is fast asleep and almost on top of me, but I really don't care. He is warm and I feel safe covered by his large body. As though he could protect me from anything.

Maybe it was the fact that he was the only human contact I have had since before the battle. Maybe it is just me, or him. I'm not really sure I want to analyze what I am feeling around Paul. I have done so much of that in the past. With my feelings towards Edward, toward Jake. Even with my relationships with my family.

The light that had been left on in the bathroom curved over Paul's face. I could just make out his features, his perfectly shaped nose. His high cheekbones that seemed to just cradle his eyes.

I reach up and slowly trace my fingers over each and every curve. I can feel the rapid movement of his eyes beneath his lids and I know he is dreaming. My fingers leave soft trails over his eyebrows and I allow my hand to slip into his hair. It felt like silk slipping through my fingers as I slid my hand down to run along his strong jaw.

I hesitate just a moment before running the tip of my finger over first the bottom of his lips then the top. He sighs and holds me just that much tighter. His breath is like fire as it washes over my hand.

I still my movements as his lips pucker and I am afraid he has woken, but his eyes remain closed. He leaves a barely there kiss on my finger and snuggles down closer to me and I realize he is still asleep.

He looks so peaceful at the moment. Almost happy. I wish this was the Paul that I knew when we were awake. I like this Paul.

Deciding that I should get some sleep as in a few hours we would be heading out again, I slip my hand back down to rest on his chest and close my eyes.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

She was touching me! Not just touching me, but tracing her fingers slowly and softly over my face. It was something only one other had ever done.

Dawn had been my first girlfriend. Sure we were both only ten years old, but I was in love with her then. The kind of love only a child ignorant of the world was capable of. She would come over to my house after school and we would just sit on my couch and watch TV all afternoon.

One day she hadn't been at school. When I had gotten home I had found her on my porch. It turned out her father had gotten a job in Colorado and they were moving. She had been packing all that day.

We hid away in my room and said our goodbyes. She had asked if she could touch me, and while it shocked me I agreed. I had sat silently and still as she ran her hands over my face. Once she was done I had asked her what she was doing. She only said that she wanted a why to remember me, that she was memorizing my face so no matter how long she was away she could always see me in her mind.

Dawn's touches had been one of goodbyes, Bella's were ones of beginnings.

When her small finger had made its way to my lips I had been unable to hold myself back. While still pretending to be asleep I gently kissed her fingertip. I could not tell you what made me do it. Only that I couldn't not do it.

Once I hear her even breathing I open my eyes. It is strange how not long ago I would have told you how ugly she was. How her scars were a major turn off. Now as I allow my own fingers to explore her face, I find my mind completely changed.

Bella's scars were just like Emily's. They weren't ugly, they didn't take away from her beauty. They only added.

* * *

"This is probably the strangest feeling in the world." I grin slightly as I hear the laughter in Bella's voice.

Bella had decided that the back seat was beginning to annoy her. She couldn't really see me, or anything she said. So in an attempt to solve this problem I made a pallet on the floor between the two middle seats and laid her on it with her head almost between the two front seats.

"What feeling?" Out of the corner of my eyes I could see her hands flailing in the air and I can't help but laugh a little. It was rather funny looking.

"This! I mean I can feel which way the van is moving and it is sort of making me dizzy. Like riding on a roller coaster backwards." I look down at her. Her hair is splayed out on the pillow I had stolen from the motel and her arms are no longer flying about, but resting just under her breasts.

"I could pull over and put you back in the backseat."

"No! I mean, this is fine. Better actually. I have more room and I don't feel like I am going to fall at any moment." I nod my head and turn off at the exit for the next town.

"Do you really think your father will wire us some money? We don't have much left and unless we want to start sleeping in the van we are going to need some." She was silent for a moment. I remember she had said something about this a couple of weeks ago, but I wasn't sure if it was just something she said to get me to talk to her.

"Yes, I mean if he will mess with a police report for us I doubt he will have any problems with sending us some money so we can survive." I mentally calculate what we are going to need as we head towards the town.

My stomach growls reminding me that we left this morning without eating. I was getting hungry, it has been awhile since I have had enough to eat. With the money running low I have had to conserve by buying cheaply and in small amounts.

I notice a Micky D's just down the street we are on and I turn into the drive through as we get to it. I can see Bella turn her head as we slow down.

"What are you doing?" I edge closer to the speakers. I always hate those things, for some reason I always feel like the people on the other end are making faces at me.

"Getting something to eat. We will go and call Charlie after lunch, we have enough to get something to eat right now. So, what do you want?" I watch as she tries to lift her head up enough to see the menu, but she just sighs as she realizes it is hopeless.

"Just a cheeseburger and fries is fine. Any of the other sandwiches would be a little hard to eat while on the floor like this." True, most of the others would spill out of their bun. At least their simple hamburgers were fused together with cheese.

I relay my order all the while trying not to go all wolfy on the speakers. I really do hate those. When we get to the window to get our meals I notice the girl with our food.

She had the brightest green eyes I had ever seen, and once she saw a blush that could rival Bella's.

"Hey Cutie." She giggles and hands me the first bag.

"Hey yourself." I watch as she leans just a little ways out of the window so she could hand me the next bag.

As soon as we get all our food I wink at her and drive off. I couldn't help but laugh as I notice a phone number written on the side of one of the bags.

"What is with that?" I lift an eyebrow at Bella while I hand her the bag with her lunch.

"What? I think I have made myself clear on this point, I. Can't. Read. Your. Mind." She rolled her eyes at me. Something that used to bother me, anymore I find it…dare I say, cute.

"I mean what is with all the flirting? Jake always told me you were a player, I see he was right. How many girls have you slept with? Do you even care that you are probably breaking their hearts?" Of course she would get onto that again. A couple of days ago she had made mention of it after we stopped to get gas. She had been watching me flirt with a couple of girls in the car next to us.

"Listen, what I have done is no different than what any of the other un-imprinted wolves have done. Except Jake, but he had other things that helped." I hoped that mentioning his name wouldn't get her mad at me. Lately I have been slowly talking about the pack more and more. At first she would get upset, mostly when I mentioned Jake.

"What do you mean?" I decided to just pull over in an abandoned parking lot while we ate. Normally I could multi-task, but at the moment I am just too hungry to eat, drive and answer her questions.

I hopped out of the driver's seat and opened the door to the back and sat down beside Bella, my back leaning against the chair.

" Ok the thing is when we phase our bodies are pumped full of testosterone. I am sure you know what that is, huh?" Bella just nodded.

"It makes us aggressive, and there is only two ways of working it off. To beat the shit out of someone or fuck. Now, I ask you which would you suggest I do? Beat some random fuck till he is almost dead, or screw some willing girl?" I see the blush rise quickly up her chest all the way to the tips of her ears. I still find it amusing her reactions to anything dealing with sex. Though I have noticed when we watch the more racy movies she does get aroused. Lately the smell has become stronger and more intoxicating.

"Ok, fine I get it. But does it not bother you at all that many of those girls are going to be hurt after you ignore them?" Now it is my turn to roll my eyes.

"It is not my fault that they read more into the situation. I have always made it very clear what I want. If they think that one night in my bed equals a relationship than they have problems far worse than getting fucked and tossed aside by me." I stared wide eyed at her as she threw her crumpled wrapper at my head. It was weird how comfortable we were getting with each other.

"You really are crude Paul. Anyway, what did you mean when you said except Jake?" I should have never mentioned Jake. She might have been ready to hear his name or speak a bit about him, but I wasn't so sure about this subject.

"Jake was madly in love with you for one. He would have never slept with any other girl, in his mind he would have been cheating on you. The other thing was that his hatred towards your lee…your late boyfriend fuelled his anger.

"His fights with him and his plan to win you over kept him occupied." Her smile fell and I felt like a jerk for bringing this up.

"Oh." She shoved several fries in her mouth and looked away from me.

"Yeah, oh."

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I couldn't get what Paul said out of my head. I wondered if things had been different if Jake would have remained waiting for me his whole life. If they had all lived and I remained with Edward, would he have never dated. Never fallen in love, never slept with someone, never married.

Was I such a monster to admit that the idea appealed to me somewhat? A part of me liked to think that he would have, that he would have never even looked at another woman.

I shake myself out of these thoughts. They were useless. He was dead, Edward was dead. A sharp pain shot through my chest at that. It wasn't as bad as it had been. I was healing.

My eyes lift up to set on the man in the driver's seat. I think we were both healing.

* * *

Author's Notes: And so we are moving along! This is a chapter I have been looking forward to. The conversation in the van between them was one I have had in my head since almost the beginning.

Next chapter we actually get the casts off, so woot!

Also I know I have been lax on replying to reviews and I am sorry, but do know I am getting each and everyone and they all make my day when I read them. I have just been a bit tired lately and only write and post. I will try to reply, but if I don't just know I have read them.

I can't believe how many reviews I have for this actually, almost 200 and I thank you all. I didn't really think I would get too many when I started this. so thank you to everyone that has reviewed, fav'd and watched! I give you all huggles! :D

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own!


	18. Should Have Never Let You Talk To Me So

Chapter Seventeen: Should Have Never Let You Talk To Me So Sweetly;

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

I set my head in my hands as I looked at the paper in front of me. It was shocking to read through a newspaper after being told the truth. Every unsolved murder, every disappearance had new meaning to me.

My eyes shoot over to an old paper from before this all happened. One of the ones about the murders in Seattle. It unnerved me when Em told me about the vampire army, and more so when she had handed me that paper.

I look back down at the first paper. The table is set out with several, all from different cities through different states. It looked like this Victoria that was after my daughter was at it again. Rebuilding her army. Only this time she wasn't so careful.

The murders and disappearances were not confined to one city, they were spread all over. On a map it would be easy to see that she was on the move, and this made my heart go cold. Her path was the same as Bella and Paul's.

She was not far away from them at all. From what I figured she was within a ten mile radius at all times.

A cup of coffee set down beside me and I quickly grab Emily's wrist before she is able to move away. She doesn't say a word, only sets down in my lap and lets me hold her quietly.

"How many?" Her voice whispered across the top of my head.

"At least a hundred. And that is just the ones that have been reported. Some are missing though most of the bodies have been found. I can't get a good count of how many she may have turned though. I would say at least twenty." She pulled back and stood up handing me my cup. I took down a large drink, not caring about how hot it was.

"This is worse than last time. She is not even being careful. It is almost like she is trying to flaunt it." I set my cup down and shook my head.

"I doubt that. She doesn't need to, Bella and Paul already know she is coming. No, this is overconfidence. Just because she didn't get Bella last time doesn't mean anything. She still pulled it off. She thinks she can do it again." This was something I had seen before. Sometimes it would be a murderer, a rapist, or an abuser. It was all the same no matter what the offence. They had pulled it off once before and got away with it, they begin to believe that they are invincible on some level. It always turns out to be their downfall.

They get cocky which in turn makes them sloppy. I just wish her carelessness could work to our advantage.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

I flung the newspaper in the wastebasket. When I called Charlie to send us some money he had made mention about the papers. I should have been keeping tabs on them in the first place. The damned leech was rebuilding and this time there would just be me. I was not liking these odds.

Bella moaned quietly from the bed and my eyes went directly to her. She had been more talkative lately, even going so far as to share her past story with me. I wish I could say that I shared as well, but I wasn't yet ready to unleash all my dirty laundry to her. For some reason I wanted her to see me in a good light.

I moved my bag that was beside her further down on the bed and sat beside her. Absentmindedly I played with the ends of her hair. It had grown somewhat since we left and I found I liked it.

"You bored or something?" Bella turned her head so she could look at me. I must have been a sight, sitting there with my hand tangled in her hair, because she giggled. How did I not notice she was awake?

"Maybe." I shrugged off the shock and continued to jst play with her hair. There was no reason to deny what I was doing, she already caught me.

"Do you miss it?" I lifted my eyebrow at her. Her habit of asking random and vague questions was kind of annoying.

"The long hair, do you ever miss having long hair? I mean I know many of the Rez boys have long hair, and I just wondered if you missed it was all." I twisted one loose curl around my finger and pulled slightly.

"Sometimes, but could be a hassle." She carefully pulled the curl from my fingers and smoothed it back down.

"What do you miss about it most?" Not caring that I might be annoying her I grabbed the curl back and played with it again.

"The way girls used to ran their hands through it. It was like a magnet, whenever I went on a date with a girl she always had to play with my hair. Don't laugh, but it felt good." She didn't laugh, just gave me a soft smile.

"It feels different with short hair, not as good?" Way was this girl so curious about everything.

"I wouldn't know. Haven't had a girl run her hands through my hair since I phased." I of course failed to mention the other night when she did while she thought I had been asleep.

She ran one hand up my arm till she was able to hook her hand behind my neck. I felt her try to pull me down so I followed. When our noses were almost touching she brought both of her hands up and with fingers splayed she drove right into my hair.

Slowly she messaged her way from brow to the nape of my neck. Over and over she moved her hands. Sometimes her thumbs would circle my temples or trace the tops of my ears. I allowed my eyes to close. That was until I felt the pressure of her nails as she slightly scratched them across my scalp. I grabbed onto her wrists and took a moment to calm myself down.

"Don't push me too far Bella." I didn't lift my head before I opened my eyes. Her's were wide and she looked almost frightened. Shit, I scared her. I pulled back and made some sort excuse and headed out the door.

I rested my head against the outside wall of our room. I needed to get fucking laid before I jumped Bella. I mean she was still in leg casts!

* * *

(Bella's POV)

My hands hung in midair for a few moments after he left. Did I? Had I? Surely I hadn't actually turned him on? That was laughable, I mean look at me!

I rest my hands against my stomach unsure what to make of what just happened, and what it made me feel.

My eyes wander around the room, taking in the dingy bedcovers and dust covered walls. Even though Charlie had been able to send us a good deal of money we had decided it best to continue to stay in the cheap roadside motels. Besides stretching our money, places like this rarely asked many questions.

My eyes land on my legs. The casts covered from foot to upper thigh. I hated them. I felt like a God damned child with everything Paul had to do for me.

I felt anger build in my stomach. I wanted those things gone, and I wanted them gone now! I reached down and dragged Paul's bag onto my chest. He had to have something in there. I pulled out various shirts and a few empty bottles of medication. Finally my hand wrapped around the smooth handle of a knife.

When I pulled it out I noticed it was one of those fancy switchblades. Closed it was about the size of my hand and it was inlaid with what looked like carved bone. The design was wolves of course.

I pulled the blade out and locked it. Without really thinking on what I was doing I shoved the blade between the cast and my leg, ignoring the pain. I twisted the knife this way and that just trying to peel away the plaster.

When the pain got to be too much in my right leg I switched to my left. I turned the edge of the blade up towards the cast and started to saw back and forth.

"W-what are you doing?" I looked over to the door where Paul and just returned. His eyes were wide and he looked completely shocked.

"I am tired of these casts! I'm trying to get them off." He pointed to the switchblade in my hand.

"With a God damned knife? Fuck Bella, you have cut yourself. I can smell blood, lots of it. Are you fucking insane?" Maybe I was. I was just so tired, and desperate.

"Damnit Paul, I'm tired and sore and I just want to be able to do things like an adult! And I want these stupid things off right NOW!" I pulled the blade from my cast.

"Oh for fuck's sakes you stupid girl, you are going to cut your damned leg off. You want them off so bad, fine!" Paul grabbed the knife from my hands and flung it across the room. Before I could say anything Paul began to tear the casts from my legs. Piece after piece of plaster was peeled from my legs. He didn't even struggle, it was like tearing paper for him.

"There, now I hope they are healed enough, because we can not put them back on. Oh for God's…." I followed Paul's eyes to the tops of my thighs. Blood covered everything from where I had stabbed myself in the attempt to take the casts off. I felt myself get dizzy. I hadn't realized just how bad I had sliced my legs.

"You are beginning to really wear me out girl!" I had closed my eyes so tight that I hadn't seen him move towards me. His hands slid under my legs and my head and lifted me into the bathroom. He had to steady me when he sat me on the toilet. I was just so dizzy. There was so much blood.

"At least you didn't cut anything too deep. Doesn't look like you need stitches or anything. Just Bella, look at me." I pried my eyes open and tried to focus only on Paul's face and not the minced meat that were my thighs.

"Bella, you should have asked me. You could have really hurt yourself. Now, I am going to clean these up and then I am going to run you a bath. I am sure you can handle that on your own now." I nodded and averted my eyes as he cleaned my legs. I really didn't want to pass out.

* * *

I never realized how much I took taking baths for granted. It is kind of funny how happy just being able to sit down in a tub of water has made me.

I wash and scrub till I my body is bright pink. I am at the moment leaning against the back of the wall unwilling to get out of the cooling water. I wiggle my toes and try to flex my foot. I see a twitch, but other than that nothing.

I try to lift my leg, again a twitch and nothing more. Of course, I haven't moved them in so long. I forgot this could happen. A sigh escapes my mouth, echoing slightly in the room.

"Everything ok in there?" I laugh slightly, why he didn't just come in I am not sure. I mean he was the one that undressed me and put me in the bath. He has seen every inch of me. Heat rises in my cheeks at that.

"Yes, um I am ready to get out now." He opens the door and just stands there a moment looking down at me. I can't read the expression on his face. He doesn't look mad or happy. More like he is in pain.

"Paul?" His eyes shoot up to mine and I swear I see a blush of his own rising on his cheeks.

"Yes, oh um sorry. Sure, let's get you out of there." I don't I have ever seen Paul act so nervous. It was actually kind of cute.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok, well I was actually going to be working on Fall Into The Sun and The Never Ending Road, but this chapter of Nightingale was stuck in my head and I realized that i had to get it out before I could work on any of my other stories.

So you know, things will now start to move a little more quickly as we are getting closer to the end. Which I can't actually believe. Anyway I hope to update the other two stories hopefully by Friday and then this one again. If things work out it will be out Saturday.

Disclaimer: don't own!


	19. Let Me Stay

Chapter: Eighteen: Let Me Stay;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

Damn werewolf senses! For the past few days things have been tense between Paul and I. We no longer fight, though he sure can be rude at times. The problem started just after that first bath when he took off my casts.

He had carried me like normal into the room and sat me on the bed. Paul had already been a little nervous as it was. I found it cute as he stuttered out that he had heard somewhere that messaging the muscles would help to stimulate them and make them stronger.

He then proceeded to wrap his thick hands around my legs. I had never felt anything in my entire life that felt so good. And it only got better as his hands raised higher, better but more awkward. I hadn't been able to hold in the moan that bubbled out of me as his hands reached the top of my thighs, or the rush of arousal.

That is where the stupid werewolf senses come in to play. Paul picked up the scent and of course knew what it meant. I had thought he would tease me about it. He shocked me when instead he stammered an apology and ran into the bathroom locking the door. I didn't see him for over an hour, I was forced to wait on the bed in nothing but a towel the entire time.

It hadn't gotten any better. Paul still insisted that he rub down my legs. Which is what he was currently doing.

I bit my lip in order to keep the moan from sounding out. His hands were just so hot and as he got higher I wasn't sure if he realized how many times his knuckles brushed against me.

"T-there, done. So, Bella, um how are your legs? Think you could maybe try walking soon?" That moan threatens to push its way past my lips as I watch his hand lift to his nose. Oh God he did notice! Calm, calm, calm.

"Not today, but soon." He nods and goes to hut himself in the bathroom again. I am not sure if I have offended him. Even though he was rude, he had been trying to help me. I just keep brushing him off, sometimes snapping. I don't hate him anymore, but everything is beginning to tire me out. I just want to go home.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

That was stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! I lift my hand to my nose again, her smell still lingers there. And what a sweet smell. It was still stupid and I have to stop doing that before I really piss her off. Or do something much worse.

I lean against the wall trying to calm myself down. My eyes travel the room. Shit, I used the last towel on Bella. No wash rags either.

I was sure Bella wasn't that naive that she didn't know what I did in here after rubbing down her legs. But I didn't want to make it so obvious if I showered again not even three hours after my last one.

It is all her fault. Her soft little moans and that smell! My God, that smell! I take in a breath, I've got to calm myself. We are running out of time. The count of dead and missing are increasing daily, and I have to figure out how one lone wolf is going to destroy and army of newborn vampires when a whole pack and coven of vampires couldn't.

One last deep breath and I'm out of the bathroom. I stand there and watch as Bella stares at the wall. She is still in the chair I had sat her in. I was sure she could start walking, but she was scared. I moved a bit till I was standing in front of her. This stopped today.

"That is it. I know we don't really have time for this, but Bella you have got to start learning to walk on your own. You wanted those casts off, now you are going to have to start using those legs of yours." Her head shot up to mine. She looked like a scared little mouse.

"I can't, I'm just too tired." I was beginning to hate that excuse. I leaned down and set my hands on the arms rests on either side of her.

"You have to. Bella, if things were ideal you would be back in Forks at the hospital getting physical therapy. But we live in a fucked up world where we have to be on the run. We don't have a professional therapist, we only have you and me." Her eyes hardened and I knew she was starting to get angry at me. Good, anger was better than sadness.

"Why do you care?" Why always that question?

"Damnit! Bella why do you keep doing this? Every time I try to help you, you get defensive. I thought we already covered the fact that I don't hate you, that I even care about what happens to you.

"I am not trying to piss you off here, but if you don't start working those legs then when we do finally beat your crazy leech stalker and her army you are going to end up stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of your life." All the anger left her at that and she shrank back down in the chair. Well shit!

"I can't do it, Paul. Just leave me alone." I slipped my hand under her chin and raised her face up. I wonder if she would slap me if I kissed her?

"I know you are no coward Bella, so…." I moved from standing in front of her to the other side of the room. I wasn't going to allow her to sit there in pity and fear. She was better than that. I leaned against the wall and glared at her.

"Get off of your lazy ass and come here." She looked at me like I was crazy, but I could still that fear there.

"Paul, I can't…" Her voice was so small. I hated frightened Bella, she was so much stronger than that. She just couldn't see it.  
"Fuck that Bella, now come here!" I pointed to my feet, she just had to get started. Just stand and take the first step.

"No! I can't, I can't!" Her words sent a pang through my chest. Why couldn't see just stand up?

"Come the fuck here, now!" Bella bit her lip, I knew she was trying not to cry. I hated that I was upsetting her, but she needed this. She glared at me after she bit back the tears.

"NO! Fuck you Paul!" That was better, the anger would fuel her.

"You stupid little girl, are you really that scared? I bet Jake and your fucking leech would be so proud of you." I started clapping knowing that she was at her breaking point. Without a word to me she stood from the chair and took five steps before her legs gave way underneath her. I was in front of her in a second and had her gathered in my arms.

"I told you I couldn't do it." Bella sobbed into my chest. I let her cry for a few moments before pulling her back so I could look in her face.

"No Bella you did do it. I didn't expect you to make it across the room, you haven't walked in months. It is going to take time, but when we get back home you are going to walk into La Push beside me. I promise you that.

"Now let's get you back up and try a few more steps." I slipped one arm behind her shoulders and lifted her back up so she was standing.

"Paul?" I looked down at her and was surprised to see a watery little smile.

"Yes?" Did my voice have to come out so breathy?

"Thank you." I just rolled my eyes.

"Whatever." I smiled.

* * *

Bella had done so well. Over the course of the past two days she had gotten to the point that she could walk around the room. She still had to hold onto the walls or me, but I knew soon enough she would be walking on her own.

My eyes follow to the article in the paper from this morning. An entire family went missing on a picnic. I didn't want to admit this to Bella, but I was scared shitless. I didn't know what to do. This leech was going to slaughter us when she got tired of the chase. I would protect Bella till my dying breath, but I doubted I would last too long.

We were going to die.

I looked over at the sleeping woman in the bed. For the first time in my life I realized I had something I wanted to live for. That there was a future waiting for me if only we were to survive.

The paper is louder than I wished as I crumpled it and tossed it into the trash. I didn't want Bella to find out how hopeless this all was.

When I got in bed Bella wrapped herself around me and I took advantage of the fact that she was asleep. I allowed my lips to press against hers softly and then tucked her head against my shoulder.

"I'm scared Bella. So God damned scared."

* * *

(Bella's POV)

He kissed me! That was enough of a shocker that I almost missed the words he whispered to me. I knew he thought I was still asleep, he would have never allowed me to know this unless he did. I held him even tighter to myself.

I was just as scared. Not just for myself, but him too. I have lost so much. I already lost two men that I loved, I was scared to loose Paul too. When I heard his breathing even I pulled back just enough to look at his face.

He had to live, even if I didn't, he had to. I pressed my lips to his in the same soft way he had to me and curled up against him. There had to be some way to get rid of Victoria.

* * *

Author's Notes: Ok, I have been looking forward to posting this chapter, but I'm not sure how it came out. I have been feeling down lately and that can something affect my writting. So sorry if it seems sloppy.

Well, we are coming close to the end. I can't believe that I am almost finished. I am thinking it will be most likely six or seven chapters more. I don't know when I can update again, but hopefully it will be soon.

Disclaimer: Don't own!


	20. Beautiful

Chapter Nineteen: Beautiful

* * *

(Bella's POV)

Everyone was staring at me. Or at least that was what it felt like. My strength had returned rather well in the past couple of weeks, I was able to walk on my own. Though at times I had to find a place to sit when a cramp took over my legs.

I watched from behind my hair as a mother and her child walked past. Paul had finally gotten tired of sandwiches and had dragged me to a store. Now I was standing in the middle of the chip aisle in a pair of sweats and an oversized hoodie I think Emily had packed for Paul not me. I hadn't wanted to go in, not with how my face looked. I was sure I would scare little children, adults too.

Paul just fluffed my hair and pulled the hood over until nothing of my face was visible. Even though I just looked like I was having a serious case of PMS I was almost convinced that everyone still knew. It was irrational, and stupid, but I felt like everyone was watching me and just knew how ugly I looked.

I curled in upon myself even more as I heard a group of teenaged boys laughing as they walked by. Paul placed a hand on my shoulder making me jump.

"They were laughing about some stupid prank they played on one of their little brothers, not you. Don't worry so much Bella. No one is looking at you." I nodded, but still couldn't help feel that he was lying.

From the corner of my eye I saw two women pull their cart to a stop and stare our way. I cringed back, but Paul refused to allow me to hide behind him. I watched as they practically drooled over Paul and the disgusted look that crossed their faces as they glanced at me. I didn't blame them. I mean, what was a rag doll like me doing beside this Native God?

I could hear the whistle of whispering, but with the hood and how far away I was I couldn't make out what they said. I could only guess that it wasn't pleasant by the look that over took Paul's face.

He looked down at me and back at the women. When he gazed back down at me he gave me a small smirk before leaning down to whisper.

"Let's see how good of an actress you are, just play along." He lifted up and grabbed a bag of potato skin chips from the shelf.

"Did you want the cheese or the chive ones Princess?" Princess? I shifted my gaze to the women and noticed that we had their full attention now, though they looked sort of confused.

"Um, cheese Honey." He nodded and replaced the chive one and grabbed two bags of the cheese and set them in the cart.

"You feeling ok? I know the baby makes you tired." What the fuck? Baby? There was no way that I looked pregnant. I looked down and realized that the hoodie was so large I could have been several months along and no one would know.

I startled when Paul reached out and played with a strand of my hair. He just smiled and I swear it looked wistful.

"I'm a little tired, but I'll live." He nodded his head once and slipped his hand in the hood and cupped my cheek. The look on his face frightened me. He no longer looked like he was playing a part.

"You are so beautiful." I stood stock still as he lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine. Slowly I wrapped my arms around his neck and just held on as he kissed me softly. What was he doing? They couldn't see my face, he didn't actually need to kiss me for them to think he was.

My eyes closed and I just focused on the feel of his heat. I had almost forgot we had been putting on a show until I heard two huffs and one almost quiet, 'You've got to be shitting me!' Paul pulled away with that and when I opened my eyes I noticed the two women had already left.

"Well that fooled them. Pretty good acting Swan." I licked my lower lip and just stared at him.

"Yeah, fooled…"

* * *

(Paul's POV)

What the fuck is wrong with me? I knew that Bella was embarrassed, the entire time we were in the store she kept trying to find ways to hide. I would never tell her, but people were looking and whispering about her. Not because of a scar they couldn't see, but in her outfit and the way she scurried about she looked like she was on something.

When I heard those two bitches whispering about how dumpy she looked I almost lost it. I had though if I acted a little sappy with Bella, like we were madly in love, that the two would shut up. They did, but what bothered me was the last part of my so called brilliant plan. I hadn't needed to actually kiss her, but when I cupped her cheek I lost all control. Though I don't want to admit it, I wasn't acting at that point.

The scars marred her face, true, but she really was still beautiful. I don't know what to do now.

We were silent the rest of the time, Bella only saying a soft thank you when I helped her into the van. As I drove and image kept popping up in my head, even as I tried to push it away.

Bella would be in my bedroom back in my home, she would be in nothing but one of my t-shirts. Her hair would be wet and dripping down to soak the collar. She would smile widely at me and run her hand over her swollen belly.

Was this the future I had started to see with her? Was this really what I wanted?

I glanced back in the van and noticed Bella just staring out the window, running her fingers absently over her lips.

Maybe it was.

* * *

Why do women have to be so confusing? I had thought that Bella and I were finally getting along. We hadn't fought in awhile and we have actually had a few conversations where we joked around. So why in hell is she acting like I kicked her puppy?

I was currently carrying most of the bags as she unlocked our hotel door. I was left standing in the doorway as she walked through the room and straight to the bathroom where she locked herself in. I set the bags on the small table and plopped down on the bed figuring she would be out in just a few minutes.

It was over thirty minutes later I realized that she was hiding. Though I wasn't sure why. She had been quiet this whole time in there, I hadn't even heard the sounds of her walking around. After another half hour I decided that she was just going to have to get over whatever it was and get out of there, I really had to piss.

My knocking on the door served to do little but make her heart race a little faster.

"Come on Bella, I need in there." A slight squeak sounded from the room like she had shifted on whatever she was using as a seat.

"You're a dog, go find a tree!" Great! Why the fuck was she back to the dog insults?

"Wolf, Bella, wolf! Now get the fuck out of there or I will bust this door down!" Again the squeak and her heart beat a little faster.

"Doubt that! Now leave me alone!" How could a girl so small be such a huge annoyance? Damn it! Fine, it wasn't like we hadn't already destroyed parts of a hotel room. I grabbed a hold of the doorknob, turned and pushed my hid into the door with a bit more force than what was really needed.

Bella looked up at me from her seat on the toilet. Her eyes were wide with shock, and yet she looked anger. What the hell? She glared at me and refused to move. At this point I didn't care how much more angry she would get, I was about to piss myself.

I lifted her off of the toilet and set her on the tub, unzipped my shorts and ignoring the little squeak from beside me proceeded to relieve myself. When I was done and had washed my hands I turned to find that Bella was not only angry, but also red as a cherry. It was kind of cute actually.

"Ok, so are you going to tell me why you are pissed off or are you going to sit there on the tub for the rest of the night?" She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from me. Like hell I was going to allow her to start this up again. I was really starting to like the nice Bella. I knelt down in front of her and set one of my hands on her folded arms. She jerked away and had I not been as fast as I was she would have fallen inside and busted open her head.

"Don't do this. Now, what is the matter? What did I do?" I may have not known what I had done, but I wasn't stupid. She wouldn't b treating me this way had it not been me.

"You called me beautiful." I was sure the expression on my face was funny. I always thought women liked being told that.

"Ok, I am not seeing what I did wrong here." She 'humphed' and ran a hand through her hair.

"You called me beautiful and kissed me." Again, I am not understanding. Did she fall and hit her head when I wasn't looking?

"Um, I'm sorry…" Her head spun around and she stared right at me with a look that would cause the strongest of men to piss themselves.

"You're sorry? Look Paul, I thank you for getting those women to shut up, but next time just glare at them or something. I know you were just acting, but it still hurt. I mean, I know I am ugly and I would rather not be lied to." I was frozen in place. Did she actually say what I thought she said? Ugly? That stupid women!

I grabbed the sides of her head and forced her to look at me.

"You weren't lied to. You _are_ beautiful! These scars are nothing, they can't take away from your beauty. Now, if I ever hear you say that you are ugly again I might just have to take you in that room and show you just how wrong you are!" With that I slammed my mouth down on her's

She didn't even struggle, just wrapped her arms around my neck and allowed me to slip my tongue between her lips. She tasted like heaven. A quiet little moan from her throat made me realize what I was doing. I broke away from here before I did something unforgivable and muttered an apology before running back into the room like the coward I was.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

Oh. My. God. ! He kissed me, really kissed me. And called me beautiful. The bastard! How could he do this to me? He couldn't just tell me that, yes I was ugly and just leave it at that? No, he has to God damned kiss me! What was going on?

I took a few calming breathes, I couldn't go running in there yelling at him. I had a feeling he would just shut me up with another kiss.

I wonder if I could just live in this bathroom.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

Bella hadn't come out of that bathroom once, and I didn't try to get her too. After awhile I just slipped down into the blankets and tried to find sleep. That was four hours ago.

I had gotten so used to her body next to mine at night, so used to her allowing me to wrap her in my arms that I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep without her beside me.

I felt the bed dip and smelled the sweet scent of Bella as she slipped into be. I figured she would remain on her side and ignore me. So I was surprised when she rolled over, grabbed my arm and cuddled against my chest allowing me to hold her.

"I think you are beautiful too." I couldn't help the small chuckle at that.

"Thank you. Now let's get some sleep, it is late."

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry for how late this is. You would have gotten it yesteday, but two things happened. First I am having trouble with getting wireless on my notebook, and two a guy at my mum's work went crazy and well it did not end well. I was just thankful that it was my mum's day off.

Anyway, I am having to post this up using dialup, hopefully it won't be too slow for posting and that I get wireless back soon.


	21. Finding Our Way

Chapter Twenty: Finding Our Way;

* * *

(Billy's POV)

Is this all a dream? Or am I stuck between these two realities? Am I seeing what is real only to pass it off as fantasy? Or is the fantasy real? I do not know anymore.

In the night my son is alive. He sits beside me telling me stories of his antics with the pack. His love for the girl Bella and how he is afraid he will lose her to the Cullen boy. But with the sun he fades away, leaving me cold.

I watch day in and day out as my daughter tries to get me to talk to her. Tell me that everything will be alright with time. I do not believe her. Will her words bring back my son, my wife? Of course they won't.

I long for the sun to set, hoping that he will come back each night. I watch as the last rays fade and the sky darkens. When my eyes look to the side of my bed he is there again. Only he no longer looks like the carefree boy he was before.

His eyes are shadowed, he is slumped forward, and I can see tear tracks along his cheeks. I know he is neither dream or reality.

"You have to stop this Dad. You are killing Rachel." I sit up the best I could and reach out expecting my hand to go right through his almost translucent frame. I almost jump when my hand makes contact with warm flesh. He grabs a hold of my hand and squeezes slightly.

"I don't want any of this to be real. I don't want you to be gone?" He just shakes his head.

"No one wants it to be, but it is. You need to wake up. I won't tell you that things are going to get better, because they won't for awhile. None of this is over yet, but when it is it will take a few years for things to be alright again.

"Just know that we are all going to be well taken care of. I need you to tell everyone that. Emily, Sue, Charlie. Can you do that for me?" I nod and work hard to keep the tears from falling. I feel the hot tracks down my cheeks and I know I have failed.

"I am lost, Jake." He scoots closer and wraps his arms around me, burying my face in his shoulder as I cry.

"I can show you the way, Dad." I cry in his arms until I am too tired to continue. I feel him lie me back on the bed and when I look up at him he is smiling at me though he has tears of his own dripping from his eyes.

"I will show you the way home." He leaned down and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes briefly and when I opened them again he was gone. And with him the heavy weight that had been pressing on my chest. I knew he wouldn't be back, and somehow I was okay with that.

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

Emily is already sound asleep when I walk into our room. It had been a long day. I never realized acting like things were normal could be so draining.

Emily had an appointment with her doctor today and luckily it had been my day off. We had to endure many stares as well as one old woman that actually came up and hit me with her purse, yelling at me for corrupting the young girl.

Everything turned out fine with the baby. The baby boy. She had been so happy to know that she was giving Sam a son, it was hard to see the realization cross her face that Sam would never see the boy. Everything went down hill from there.

We had tried to pretend like everything was fine. It worked for awhile, we had decided to start decorating the nursery. I ended up having to threaten people with my badge to get them to leave the aisle when Emily broke down crying over a blue blanket with wolves printed on it.

After we got home and put away all of the stuff we got I found her sitting on the side of our bed holding the blanket and a small coin with the same symbol all the wolves had tattooed on their arms. I had held her until her crying subsided and then just listened.

She was so scared for her child. Even though the Cullens were gone other vampires could come through at any time. She knew that there was a good chance her son would phase if this happened. He had the blood of the Alpha, even if that Alpha was the true Alpha. She said she was ashamed that she didn't want this for her child, it was suppose to be an honor.

I look over at her now, completely worn out from her tears. I am not sure how to help her. To tell her that everything would be alright and that her son would never phase would be empty words and lies. I knew in time that things would be better. We would move on, remember back fondly on those we lost, but that seemed so far away at the moment.

Emily moans from beside me and I climb under the blankets and gather her in my arms. Maybe I couldn't protect her son from phasing, but I could care for him and her. Once Bella and Paul returned they would move in here and together we would all heal.

The little one tucked safely inside of this sweet woman would be the most loved child in the world. That much I could promise her.

* * *

(Rachel's POV)

I had heard as my father cried and mumbled from his bedroom. Every night I sat hear outside in the hall and listened knowing there was nothing I could do.

When he quieted I lifted my head. He normally continued on for hours, not calming down until the sun rose and he fell asleep. I shot up off the floor and opened the door afraid that he had figured out a way to end it.

He was lying on the bed fast asleep, the blanket pulled up to his chest as he took calm breaths. I was shocked that he was already asleep, but it was the expression on his face that shocked me the most. He was smiling. Not a huge smile, but a soft and fond one. I haven't seen him smile like that in a long time.

I quietly shut the door and walked to my own room. I was tired and I knew that Dad would be fine. At least for awhile.

* * *

Author's Note: I know, I know no Bella and Paul and I know all of you were hoping for a bit more kissing and more, but the closer we get to the end I need to start tying up loose ends. And I think an insane Billy is a loose end. Paul and Bella return next chapter, and will pretty much stick around till the end.

Now even though I told some of you that I would most likely not do any more Victoria POVs I am thinking there will be one more.

As soon as this story is done I will be posting my Bella/Sam story, "Beyond The Ice And The Fire" I already have the preface and a couple of chapters finished. If anyone would like me to notify them when it is up just leave me a note that you want me to and I will let you know as soon as the preface is up.

I will also soon, most likely when either "Fall into the Sun" or "The Never Ending Road" are finished, be continuing "The Gold In The Buckle" a Bella/Jake AH story.

Disclaimer: Don't own!


	22. Selfish Promises

Chapter Twenty One: Selfish Promises;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I keep replaying that one moment in the bathroom over and over again. The feel of Paul's lips on mine, the look in his eyes when he threatened to show me just how beautiful I was. Every time the images passes through my mind I can't help the shiver that runs through my body.

What was this man doing to me? I knew I still loved Edward and Jacob, if I could bring them back to me I would. But I find myself more and more in need of Paul. Maybe it is because he saved me, maybe because he has been caring for me. It no longer matters the why, only that it is.

Since that night four days ago I have noticed just how close we have become. We hold each other in our sleep as though afraid that when we wake up the other will be gone. There are small touches that most people would not pay attention to.

A brush of the hand here, a caress of the hair there. Hips grazing as we walk past one another. The soft hot feel of lips as the gently press on a forehead before bed. We both pretend that we don't know what is going on, even though I am sure he knows as well as I do.

I try to feel guilty for needing him how I know I am starting to. I try to imagine how angry and hurt Edward and Jake would feel if they knew I had disregarded them for another so quickly. I try and try, but I can't feel bad about it.

The thing is I know I have not left my two loves behind, I have not forgotten them. My heart still belongs to those two which no longer exist. I know they would want me to be happy and to move on. Maybe this is what they would want for me.

I look across the room to watch as Paul reads another newspaper. Am I in love with this man? No, though I do like him. Could I ever fall for him? Without a doubt.

He crumples the paper and tosses it into the wastebasket with a look of worry on his face. This has become normal with him. He never allows me to read the paper and I am sure I already know the reason why. I imagine the headlines look much the same as they did before Victoria led her army to us.

How many were being torn apart because of me this time? How many parents lost their child to that monster? How many husbands, wives, brothers and sisters were still looking for their loved ones? All of this because of me.

I run a hand through my hair, hoping to get the tangles from the night out. Paul grabs a shirt from a pile by the table and pulls it on, all the while staring at the wall above my head. I wish I knew what was going on in his mind. Did he have a plan to destroy Victoria, or did he think we could continue to run for much longer?

His eyes lower down and rest on my own as he takes a few steps closer. He removes my hand from my hair and uses his own to smooth out the tangles. His gentle touch causes my eyes to slip close, only to fly open a moment later when his lips rest momentarily on mine.

The kiss isn't passionate like before. It was just simply the soft touch of flesh to flesh, gentle and sweet. So full of care and an emotion I already knew he was feeling.

"I am going to go and get some ice and a couple of cans of pop from the lobby. I won't be long." I can do nothing but nod my head at him as he smiles and presses his lips to mine again, this time with a little more pressure.

As soon as he is gone my eyes slip to the newspaper in the trash. How bad was it this time that he felt he had to hide it from me? I slid from the bed and walked quietly to the wastebasket. When I had the paper and it smoothed out on the bed I thought I would be sick.

She had finally gone completely insane, but how was she doing all of this. Surely she was being noticed, surely the Volturi….

Images of three paper skinned brothers flashed through my mind. Surely if they knew how wild she had become they would have taken care of her. They couldn't actually _not _know what was going on. Could they?

* * *

(Paul's POV)

I'm fucking done playing it safe. Done lying to myself, done lying to Bella. Just fucking done.

I tired to pretending that I don't want to kiss her, and so tired of pretending that I don't want to just nail her to the bed. I am not sure what will happen now, if anything will even happen at all. All I know is that I don't want to hide anything anymore.

I smirk as people run to get out of my way as I walk down the hall. I know I must look frightening. Between my sexual frustration and my worry over what the leech is doing I find myself hoping for a fight. Luckily no one is stupid enough to go anywhere near me.

I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life. When we had first gone into this, with the first battle, it seemed almost like fun and games. We were going to go and kick some leech ass and be home for dinner that night. No one actually expected to loose. They were untrained, still wet behind the ears. How could they overtake a group of seasoned vampires and a pack of wolves?

Now that I am on my own I can admit to myself at least that I am scared shitless. If it was just myself I would have gone straight for the bitch. But for the first time I had something I wanted to protect. There was a future with Bella that I was selfish enough to want. I would fight for that future. The problem was I was sure that this would be a fight I would lose.

I quickly grabbed what I had gone to get and made my way back to our room. I didn't feel comfortable with leaving her alone for too long.

When I opened the door my eyes immediately found Bella as she was slumped over the bed reading something. Her long hair was draped over her face and every now and then she would lift a hand to push it back behind her shoulders. How I wished there was some place we could go to just disappear from world. A place no one and nothing could find us.

The smile that had started to slip on my face quickly fell as I realized that she had this morning's paper. I slammed down the cans and bucket and quickly snatched up the paper, like she hadn't already read all she needed to.

Her head lifted and I knew that keeping that papers from her was useless. She wasn't shocked.

"How long has it been this bad?" Her voice was calm, but I could hear the anger in it. I knew from Jake's mind that she hated having things kept from her.

"Since before we took your casts off." She made this little huffing sound and slammed her fists into the bed.

"Damnit Paul! You should have told me! Why keep this hidden?" Her hands were now balled up into the blankets and her little knuckles were turning white from the lack of blood. I sat down beside her and peeled her fingers from around the fabric as I spoke.

"Because there was no reason to tell you. There was nothing that you could have done had you known, all it would have done is upset you. I didn't want you frightened anymore." Her face smoothed out, a sweet and sad smile curving her lips. I leaned into the hand she lifted and cupped my cheek with.

"Like you are frightened?" I jolted at her words. Of course I was frightened, but I had hoped that I had hid that well enough from her. Apparently I didn't.

"I wasn't asleep that night. I heard you when you said you were scared. Please don't be mad Paul, I don't blame you, I am very scared too." I gathered her up in my arms, her head tucked safely in the crook of my neck.

"I won't let anything happen to you Bella. I promise." Her breath swept across my skin as she breathed in and out a couple of times before speaking.

"I know you will keep your promise to Jake, Paul. I don't doubt that." Her hair felt like silk as I slid my fingers within it and used them to pull her head back slightly. Her eyes were wide as I looked down at her with as much passion as I could.

"I don't care about my promise to Jake, to Billy or your father. This promise is selfish, I want you, Bella." Her small body shivered in my arms and her eyes grew heavy lidded. I pressed my lips to her's, hard. I pulled back a moment, just enough to allow me to whisper.

"I'm not sorry this time." She shook her head and nipped my bottom lip.

"I don't think you were really sorry last time." Perceptive little thing wasn't she?

"Not really, no. I just didn't know it at the time." She laughed softly and pushed up to kiss me this time.

There would be no more hiding, no more lying, and no more pretending. Not now.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I arched my back and moaned at the feeling of the hot water as it cascaded down my body. I loved being held in Paul's arms, but it wrecked havoc on my back.

I could still feel his lips against mine, how they felt as he slip them across my jaw and down my neck to my collar bone. I could still feel a ghost sting of his teeth where he had nipped at my flesh only to sooth the slight pain with a soft swipe of his tongue.

I eventually had to push away from him as his hands found their way beneath my shirt. I was not yet ready for that. In the short amount of time I had been making out with Paul I had gone further than Edward and I had in our entire relationship.

Washing my hair my thoughts left Paul and went straight to the paper I had read earlier. I was sure that the Vulturi could not know what was going on. They were so set against the human world knowing about them that something as large and obvious as what Victoria was doing would surely bring them out. I couldn't understand why Aro hadn't sent any of his guard to deal with Victoria and her army.

My fingers slowed down to almost a stop as an idea formed. I was sure Paul wouldn't like it, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it may be the only way.

I stepped quietly out of the bathroom once I was finished and watched Paul. He was leaning against the headboard of the bed, clicker in one hand, the other resting on his bare chest.

Too many people were dying because of me, Paul could too. I couldn't even bare to think about what I would do if I lost him. Taking a big breath I slid into the bed beside Paul and made a promise of my own. I would protect him. Even if he didn't want me to.

* * *

Author's Notes: So, hopefully this answers a few questions...or maybe created more. Hehe sorry, the next chapter things actually start winding up to the ending. I already have it half finished, and I am going to be working hard to finish the last few chapters of this story so that way I can hopefully update everyday. If things go according to plan I should have the whole story finished and posted by the weekend and the Sam/Bella by next Monday. It all depends on how much chocolate I feed my muse.

I always find the ending of stories to be the hardest, this one mostly. I have had the ending planned out since I started this and trying to get to it and make it seem real and not rushed can be a pain in the butt!

Well I am off to hopefully finiah the rest of this story and get what I have of my Sam/Bella transfured to this computer.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own!


	23. No More Choices

Chapter Twenty-Two: No More Choices;

* * *

(Paul's POV)

She is up to something. Since she woke up this morning Bella has been unnaturally quiet. When I had gotten the paper before breakfast I hadn't even bothered throwing it Away and just handed it to her once I was finished.

I had expected her to be upset, cry or at least say something. She just folded the paper and held it in her lap for a few moments before going to take a shower. When she had gotten out she still didn't speak, she gave me a kiss and sat down at the small table and ate the doughnuts I had bought.

I understood now why she hated being kept in the dark. It was annoying as hell. She was currently sitting in the front seat beside me, her fingers worrying over this mornings newspaper. She tore one sheet into strips, when she realized what she had done she rolled each strip into a roll. Ok, now THAT was really annoying.

"What the fuck is wrong Bella? You haven't even said good morning to me today." She looked up from her impromptu craft project with wide eyes.

"Oh, sorry Paul. Good morning." Ok, I wasn't sure if that was sincere or sarcastic. Either way she wasn't getting out of telling what had turned her into a mute today.

"Good morning as well, now what is the matter?" She sighed and crumpled the newspaper and flung it into the back of the van.

"I have an idea on how to deal with Victoria, but I am not sure you are going to like it." An idea? Well I would like anything bar….

"No! Oh no no no no! If you are even thinking about throwing yourself to her like some sacrificial lamb you can think again. I would rather offer myself up to her than allow you anywhere near her. What are you thinking? After everything…" Bella grabbed a hold of my ear and pulled when I refused to shut up after she kept yelling at me. Damn, that actually hurt!

"Down Paul! Good, now listen will you? I wasn't planning on handing myself over, though that would end things quite quickly…" She held a hand up knowing I was about to rant again at her statement.

"I said it would, not that I would." I nodded and turned back to watch where I was driving.

"Ok, so what is this plan you think I won't like?" She was quiet for a moment and when I glanced at her she was wringing her hands together as she bit her lip. Finally she took a deep breath and looked over at me.

"The vampires have a sort of royal family. They keep relative peace in their world, as well as the secret. When a vampire does something to endanger that secret they come in and…well eliminate the threat." Royal bloodsuckers…nice. Note sarcasm.

"Got you, so why haven't they torched our leech stalker already?" Shit, it wasn't like the crazy bitch was being very subtle at all. She practically had a flashing sign pointing right at her. The only thing she could do to make herself more obvious would be to broadcast on national TV that she was a vampire.

"That's the thing. They should know, the only thing I can think is that they haven't been informed yet." She had turned so she was looking out the window, now we were getting down to the reason she had been silent.

"No, seriously Bella. Do you have a death wish or something? We are not going to, as you say, inform them." Her head shot around to stare directly at me. I sighed and pulled the truck over, this would all be a moot point if I killed us in a crash.

"Think about it Paul. There is only you and me, and how many newborns do you think she created this time? We would end up getting ourselves killed. If we inform the Volturi what is happening they will be able to destroy her and her army without even a scratch to them." Volturi? Nice name, sounds close enough to vulture to me.

"Oh yes, and what about the fact that you are a human and I am a fucking huge ass shape shifting wolf? If they are suppose to keep the secret then what about when they find out about us knowing? Mostly considering that I was created to kill their kind. I don't think that will go over well, do you?" She bit her lip again and ran a hand through her hair.

"What? What aren't you telling me?" She huffed out a little and mumbled. Thank goodness as a wolf I could hear better than humans.

"They kind of already know that I know." Great.

"Ok, great. Has it occurred to you that maybe that is why they haven't stopped this redheaded bitch? Maybe they are using her to get rid of you?" She shook her head and played with the edge of her shirt.

"They wouldn't do that. And before you ask me how I know that, I just know. It would have been easier to take me out using one of their guards. It would have been silent and untraceable. They would never use someone as messy as Victoria.

"Just believe me, ok?" So that made sense. It sounded like they didn't have any problem with getting their hands dirty. But there was something missing, something she had yet to tell me. I was sure they didn't go around allowing random humans to know their secret without a reason.

"What about me? They don't know about me, and I sure as hell do not want to become leech lunch." She rolled her eyes.

"No they don't know about you, and they won't. They already know me so I know they would let me into the castle. You wouldn't have to come. And don't go all macho wolf protector on me, I can handle them." This girl was crazy!

"Castle? Where the hell are they?"

"Italy." At least the bloodsuckers had some taste.

"Ok, say that I agree to this insane plan of yours. How are we going to get to Italy? I assure you Charlie may be able to hide the reports of a stolen van, but a stolen plane…yeah not so much. Plus, I don't know how to fly." She laughed at this and I couldn't help but smile at the sound in spite of the seriousness of the matter.

"I meant we could call Charlie and ask him to wire us the money. You know he said he would send as much as we need.

"Look Paul, I know you don't like this, but it may be our only chance to get rid of her. The longer we run the longer she has to create newborns. People are dying left and right, we have to do something." Tears prickled at the edges of her eyes and I leaned over to wipe off the few that spilled over onto her cheeks.

"I will think about it. I just don't want to put you at risk if there might be another way. Ok?" She nodded slowly and I couldn't resist leaning over and kissing her. She tasted so sweet. When all of this was over I was going to steal her away and lock her in my room for a month. I don't care what anyone said, she wasn't getting out of my bed until neither or us can stand straight.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I hated lying to Paul. I was sure he knew I was leaving things out, but he at least held back from calling me out on it. I wasn't sure how to tell him that while the Volturi knew that I knew about their world the reason I wasn't dead was because I was suppose to be changed.

If I told him that he was sure to say no. But I didn't see any other way. One human and one werewolf would not be enough to bring down a whole army or newborns. No, we needed help and the only ones I knew that could were the Volturi.

I just hoped that they didn't kill me the moment I stepped foot inside the castle.

* * *

Author's Note: Ahem...don't kill me! I am sure it is starting to get a little clearer where this is going. I have had this ending planned since I started this story.

Now, there are four chapters left, one of which I have already finished. I should have all of this up by Saturday. I am going to miss this story when I'm done.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it!


	24. Nothing In This World

Chapter Twenty Three: Nothing In This World;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I stood beside Paul as he signed the slip of paper on the counter. I actually had felt comfortable wearing a pair of jeans, though I still had on the huge hoodie. The hood up and over my face. Not that I needed it, as I currently had my face buried into one of Paul's arms.

"Here you go Sir. Have a good day." I watched from the corner of my eye as the man behind the counter took a few steps back, with the same wary expression on his face he had when we first entered the store. Paul tended to garner this type of reaction from people. Mostly other men.

"Thank you. You too." One large, sweltering arm came around my shoulders and tucked me into his side. In this position I could care less what people were saying about me.

We made it back out and into the van without me tripping and were on the road heading for the airport, all without saying a single word to each other. Paul had finally relented and agreed that this was the only way. I couldn't say I was happy really.

I was glad that once Victoria was gone that Paul, Charlie, La Push and everyone else would be safe. I was not at all happy that we were headed towards a group of very powerful vampires that wanted me either undead or dead.

"Are you sure this will work? We couldn't just call them up from a payphone and tell them could we?" If only it were that easy.

"It will work. They would not want someone like Victoria out there." He was silent again and I hoped he would refrain from asking any more questions. Luckily he kept quiet and kept driving.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

I couldn't help but feel that this was a bad idea. Since I agreed to this Bella has been sullen. I didn't want to think on what it meant. She knew more about what was happening than she was telling me. I just wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her until she told me, but I knew it wouldn't work.

I had finally found something, someone for myself and I was afraid that I was about to loose it. I reached over and grabbed her hand and held it tightly as we drove. Once we got on that plane there would be no turning back.

Bella's small hand squeezed mine back and I heard her sigh softly. Why wouldn't she just tell me what was going on? Why wouldn't she allow me to help?

The closer we got to the airport the harder my heart beat. I pulled over to the side of the road, my lungs feeling like I couldn't pull in any air. Bella opened her mouth to speak, but before she could even utter a word I had her pulled over into my lap and my lips on her's.

I slipped my hands into her hair and held on tightly, her moans just urging me on. When I could no longer go without air I pulled back to see her flushed, but smiling face. I set my forehead down on hers and just drank in the feeling of her.

"Don't leave me." Her smile fell into a sad semblance of itself as her hands buried into my shirt.

"I'm not leaving Paul." Her voice cracked a bit at the end, but I ignored it. I needed her to understand what I was saying.

"You are mine now, and I am not letting you go." She shuddered at my words, but said nothing.

"Promise me you won't leave me. Promise me that I am not going to loose you." A few tears gathered at the corner of her eyes, but refused to fall.

"Paul…" I shook my head and took in a breath. I was not used to bearing my heart to anyone, but I needed her to understand.

"No, Bella listen. I have nothing in this world. No family, no friends, hell most of my pack are all dead. It may seem weird, but you have become the only thing I have in this world. I am NOT letting you go." She smiled slightly and placed a soft kiss against my lips.

"Then don't." We both remained in the drivers seat for awhile after that, just holding onto each other. The months on the run hadn't felt this real. I was beyond scared, I was terrified.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

My heart actually hurt. What was I doing? Paul needed me, wanted me and I was going to willingly walk into the lion's den. If things went bad what would happen to Paul?

I couldn't think about that as we handed our tickets to the bright smiling blonde before boarding our plane. People were dying because of me, every day we remained on the run put more in danger. Something had to be done and I knew this was the only way.

After I took my seat I turned to look at Paul by my side. He smiled weakly at me and curled me into his side. Nothing was ever fair.

* * *

(Victoria's POV)

Shitshitshit…Fuck! I should have just killed that little bitch at the beginning of all of this. I never thought she would be stupid enough to go to the Volturi.

I watch as the bitch and the mutt board the plane. Jane had promised me that she would keep her masters off my back while I played my little game. She was having just as much fun as me. She wanted to see the bitch suffer even more than I did.

This was not good, Jane would only be able to do so much. Once the brothers heard about how far I have gone I was as good as dead.

I had to get out of here.

* * *

Author's Note: Short I know, sorry about that. The last few chapters should be longer.

Well I hope that answers some of your questions, I know many of you were wondering why the Volturi hadn't already taken care of Victoria if she was being so careless. Now there are three chapters left, this will also include a rather epic author's note.

I might actually be updating twice today, so look for it. This was suppose to be up yesterday, but when I went to post it I found out we had no phone, thus no dialup. So to make up for that I shall try my hardest to update again, most likely around 11 or midnight, so in eight or nine hours.

Disclaimer: Nope! Don't own...and that makes me sad.


	25. Don't Look Back

Chapter Twenty Four: Don't Look Back;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

The closer we got to Italy, the more worried I got. I had no idea how sound my plan actually was. I couldn't be sure that I would be able to get into the castle except as a part of the dinner group. Or that if I did manage to make it inside, that I would be allowed to speak with Aro.

I was sure of only two things. One; Victoria would be dead as soon as the Volturi knew about her army. And Two; I would not be coming out of this alive.

They had given me a choice, change or die. Once I stepped foot in front of them I was sure that choice would be taken away when they realized the Cullens had not fulfilled their end of the bargain. All my hopes rested on me being able to inform them about Victoria before they drained me.

I looked over beside me at Paul who was currently running his thumb over the back of my hand while he looked out the window. I had yet to tell him about any of this, though now I was sure I wouldn't at all. Had we tried this a month or two ago I most likely would have, he wouldn't have cared then. Now? Now he had plans, he had claimed me as his and I knew he would do everything in his power to make sure I never set foot near the Volturi if he knew.

I didn't want to hurt him, I had come to care greatly for the man beside me. And that was why I was doing what I was about to. I didn't care if I lived or not, but I could not even think about anything happening to Paul. I would protect him, and protect his people and my father. Even if it meant I had to die.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

I opened the door to our room at the little hotel that Bella had chosen. The place wasn't all that elegant, though look like a palace next to the places we had been staying lately.

Bella threw her bag down on the floor beside the bed and just stood there staring at herself in the mirror on the wall. I had tried to coax her into telling me what she was planning, but all I got from her was that once these royal leeches knew about our problem the bitch would be fried.

I feared that we wouldn't be going back home after this, but every time I tried to bring it up with her she changed the subject.

I stepped behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her waist and set my chin a top her head. She was so small in my arms, like a child. She leaned back and let out a huge sigh before smiling slightly.

"We should get some rest." Her voice was shaky and even without my wolf hearing allowing me to hear her franticly beating heart I knew she was just as scared as I was.

"When are you planning on going to these Vultures?" She rolled her eyes and turned around in my arms, resting her chin on my chest.

"Volturi. And I was thinking tomorrow. It is getting late and was hoping to get some sleep." My arms tightened around her body. I really didn't want her going, mostly without me. I have argued with her till my mouth was blue trying to allow her to bring me along. She was such a stubborn girl.

"Bella, I wish you would…" Her small hand reached up and clasped over my mouth. She shook her head and wordlessly left my arms and walked to the bathroom.

I pulled on a pair of sweats and leaned back against the headboard of the bed while I waited for her to finish taking her shower. When she finally came out she looked at me with a soft smile that refused to reach her eyes.

She sat down beside me and took one of my hands between both of hers.

"When all this is over with what do you plan on doing?" I looked down at her as she played with my fingers and wondered why she brought this up. She had avoided talk of the future as much as possible until now. I figured it most likely had to do with the fact that both Jake and her leech would not be there.

"Well, first off I plan on us returning to La Push. For the next month, or two, I am going to lock you inside of my room and never let you leave my bed." She looked down at our hands and I could see as well as feel the blush that rose up her cheeks and slipped down her chest beneath her shirt.

"Paul! Please…no I mean…a-after that?" I slid closer to her and grabbed a hold of her hips and pulled her into my lap. She curled herself against me and started busying herself with drawing small circles on my bare chest. I had to take a moment just to keep myself from moaning at the soft touch.

"After that, well I was hoping that you would go on a date with me. I know this is nothing like what you had planned for your future Bella, but I hope that you will give me a chance.

"I know I could make you happy, we could be happy. I have my house and it is big enough for a family. We will have Emily and Billy, your father and the twins. Em said that we would rebuild, and I want you there with me when we do." I felt her stiffen in my arms and for a moment I thought she might actually try to run away from me. It took me a second to realize that she was crying.

I lifted her head so I could see her face, she had her eyes clenched so tightly I wondered how she was not in pain.

"What is the matter? Did I say something wrong?" She shook her head and without opening her eyes she flung her arms around my neck and just clung to me. We remained that way for sometime before she set her lips next to my ear to speak.

"I never would have thought you could be like this. I'm so sorry Paul, so, so sorry." After that she set her head on my shoulder and it wasn't long before her breathing evened out and she was asleep.

I laid her down beside me and covered her with the blanket before going to shower myself.

While under the hot spray all I could think about was the last thing she had said. Why was she sorry?

* * *

(Bella's POV)

It was already ten in the morning and instead of being up, dressed and on my way to visit the Volturi I was sitting on the edge of the bed just watching Paul.

I sat up a bit more on the bed and rested my hip against his as I leaned down to place my head on his chest. Images from my dreams the night before kept passing through my mind. Images of Paul and I living happily together in his house on the reservation. Of myself swelled heavily with our child. Of him hovering over my nude body in the middle of the night, his whispered words brushing across my damp skin.

I saw many dark haired little children running around a comfortable front room as Paul told them stories of the Protectors and the ones that selflessly gave their lives to protect their mother. All of it seemed so wonderful, we were so happy just like Paul said we would be.

If this were any other time, if there was any other way I knew those dreams would become reality. I wanted those things, I wanted that life so bad at the moment I was almost tempted to grab Paul's hand and leave Italy right now. Almost.

Other images flashed across my mind. Ones of Victoria standing in the middle of La Push while her army ran around tearing into each and every man, woman and child. Of that redhead holding Paul in her arms like a lover before she grinned wickedly at me and sank her teeth in his throat.

As much as I wanted the future he had painted for us I knew it could never be. This was the only course I could take.

I felt Paul's arm lift and tangle in my hair as he woke up. His fingers rubbed softly against my scalp and I allowed a slow moan to escape my mouth. This could very well be the last time I saw him and I was going to make sure he knew I wanted him.

He used my hair to pull me up to his waiting mouth and pressed his lips to mine. Teeth clashed and our noses were smashed into each other, but it was the most enjoyable kiss I had ever experienced. I pulled back finally unable to deny my need for air any longer and just looked down into his eyes.

His face was a blank mask, but his eyes were swimming with fear and sadness. I placed one soft kiss on the tip of his nose and relished in a small chuckle it caused. Even if that chuckle sounded somewhat strained.

"I almost feared that you would be gone when I woke up." I had thought about that. It would have been easier if I had.

"I wanted to be able to say goodbye before I left." He nodded and sat up as I stood to gather my clothing.

"Goodbye? You make it sound so final." I stopped and stood still for a moment before continuing to pull on my shirt.

"I don't mean for it to. I simply wanted to see you before I had to leave. Is that so bad?" I looked out of the corner of my eye in the mirror and noticed Paul run his hands through his hair a little too roughly.

"No. It just sounds like you are planning on doing something stupid. Promise me Bella that you will be careful. That you will come back." He was practically pleading with me and I swore I saw a hint of tears in his eyes from where I stood. I turned around and smiled at him as soon as I had buttoned my jeans.

"I promise. I will be careful." He watched me for a couple of seconds, his hands still running through his mussed hair.

"I don't believe you." Of course he didn't. Then again if I was him I wouldn't believe me either.

"I didn't expect you would. Look Paul, I will be careful. Don't worry, and please don't come anywhere near the castle. I don't want them knowing about you. I am not sure what they would do if they found out about you and the twins." He nodded, but I had a feeling he was lying to me just as much as I was lying to him.

I stepped up in front of him and grabbed the sides of his head and pulled him to me for a kiss. If I was going to die I wanted to end it all with the taste of him in my mouth, his scent still lingering on my body.

"I will be alright. I've got to get going now, Goodbye Paul." I tried to step back from him, but he refused to let me go. His hands had locked themselves behind my back.

"No." He rested his head between my breasts and pulled me even closer. He was shaking, but I knew it had nothing to do with him phasing.

"Let me go Paul." He shook his head. I tangled my hands in his hair and after a few soft strokes I pulled, hard. He moved back wide eyed at my action. His shock allowed me to be able to move out of the circle of his arms and grab my shoes as I headed out of the hotel room.

I looked back at him before I closed the door. He was still sitting on the edge of the bed with his body hunched over, his head resting in his hands. He looked like he was about to cry. I took a deep breath and steeled myself.

"Goodbye Paul." With that I closed the door and headed outside. I had to get away from him before I lost all my nerve and stayed. I had to protect him, he had to be safe.

* * *

I couldn't remember the Volturi castle being as cold as it was now the last time I was here. Every step I took echoed hollowly through the halls, the sound making me feel even more chilled than I already was.

I took a deep breath as the large doors to the throne room was opened and I stepped in. There in front of me were the three brothers. They looked the same as they had before, the same papery skin, same red eyes.

One particular pair of crimson eyes lifted up in a smile as I stepped closer. I refused to look at either of the others. I already knew of those two, one would be blank while the other would be filled with burning fury.

"My dear Isabella! It is so good of you to stop by for a visit." He clapped his hands together and stood from his throne and slowly approached where I had stopped just moments before.

"Though wonderful it is to see you, I do wonder at the reason you have graced us with your beautiful, though unchanged, presence." He was only a couple of steps from me now and I could feel the ice cold coming off of his body.

"I…ahem, I've come to inform you of a…situation I was sure you had not known about." An elegant black eyebrow rose at this.

"And what, my Isabella, is it you believe I have no knowledge of? I assure you there is very little in this world that I do not know." His smile was evil and made my stomach ill. I hadn't realized the last time just how arrogant Aro really was.

"Maybe that is true, but I figured that a vampire slaughtering recklessly across America would have been punished by now had you known of it." I saw from the corner of my eyes as the two other brothers sat up straighter in their thrones at this. Apparently I was right.

"If you mean that little disturbance with the nomads be assured Isabella, that we have already sent our guard to take care of them. You may report back to your Cullens that all is well again. Along with a new…" I held up my hand and watched with a slight amusement as Aro's eyes widened at my nerve.

"The Cullens are all dead. Victoria and her army have already destroyed them some months ago. She had left me for dead, by I was lucky enough to be found by a passerby. I have, as you can plainly see, recovered.

"But Victoria was understandably unhappy about my survival. She has not only been playing a game of cat and mouse with me, but has started to create more newborns and let's just say she has been very careless. Newspapers from across America are printing headlines of brutal murders and disappearances." Had I not been watching I would not have noticed how Aro stiffened and a look resembling sadness flashed through his eyes momentarily.

"It is very unfortunate news indeed. Carlisle was one vampire I held in high respect, and to loose ones such as Alice and your dear Edward…well it is a sad day.

"Still I wonder what it is you believe I could do. Revenge maybe?" I shook my head before standing perfectly still as Aro circled around me, his fingers brushing through my hair.

"You realize that now that the Cullens are gone I will be forced to kill you?" He stood in front of me and slid his hand across my cheek until he was cupping my face lightly.

"I still find it amazing how quiet it is when I touch you. It has been too long since I was able to touch a woman and simply enjoy the texture of her skin and not the multitude of her thoughts." I was sure he could hear the erratic beating of my heart. I was surprised I had stayed alive this long, how much longer would he draw this out?

"I wish you would end this quickly." He smirked and leaned in so I could smell his sweet breath over my face as he spoke.

"I am undecided as of yet. Before I do I want to know what exactly it was that you hoped to accomplish in coming here?" His hand slipped back just enough that his fingers could move to trace the scars over my face.

"I want Victoria and her army dead. I do not care what you do with me, but she is killing too many." He stepped back at that and just looked at me thoughtfully. When one of the others tried to speak he held his hand and the blonde immediately closed his mouth.

"I do not see what is in it for me. What would I get my dear Isabella?" His eyes looked me up and down with a strange gleam. I was frightened about what that meant.

"Oh, I know." He laughed lightly and turned back to look at his brothers with his arms spread wide.

"I have had the most magnificent idea my dear Brothers. I am regretful that we have lost Edward and the little Alice, but what a gift this one has brought us." He turned back around with a evil smile slid across his pale face.

"I shall take care of this Victoria for you, all you have to do in return is promise to allow us to change you and join my guard willingly." I stood stock still for a moment. He actually thought I would work for him? I thought back to Paul, the way he looked when I had left him. Maybe I could buy just a moment in time. One last moment with him, one last time to make sure he was safe.

"Alright, but I want to see proof of her death before I am changed." Aro waved at a few vampires that had been sitting in the other chairs along the walls.

"Go to America and dispose of this nuisance, but bring back the leader's head. Burn the rest of her." He turned back to me once the group had left.

"There, see I always keep my promises. Now you, I shall have a room prepared for you and as soon as they return with this Victoria's head we will get on with you keeping your promise. As a gift I shall even allow you to burn the head is you so wish." I cringed wondering how I was going to get myself out of this one. I looked at Aro's smiling face and then around the room still filled with several vampires of the Volturi guard.

"If I may ask one last thing. I have a few things I would like to retrieve and some loose ends I need to tie. I would ask that I be allowed to do this before I return here to stay." The expression of absolute glee slid momentarily off of Aro's face before he plastered it back on.

"And how would I be assured that you would not run?" His voice was thick with anger and I knew I had to sooth his ego. He must have thought I figured him for a fool.

"What good would it do me? I am but a mere human, I highly doubt that I could actually run from the Volturi. I would be rather stupid if I even attempted to try. I am sure you would find me. I assure you I come to you willingly. If you wish, why not send a few of your guard to watch the airports? Though believe me there really is no need, I promise I will not run." He seemed to think this over for a moment and then nodded his head.

"Fine, but be assured of this. Should you attempt to run we will catch you and your death will be as painful as possible. Go now so you may return, my guard should not be long in ridding your nomad." When he finished and turned his back on me, a clear sign that I was dismissed. I did not wait around to hear what the others had to say, but left as quickly as I could.

I already had a plan forming in my head, but my time was limited. I had to get to Paul.

* * *

(Aro's POV)

"Have you gone senile in your old age Brother? That human will try to run the moment she leaves this castle." Caius looked furious, though that wasn't a strange thing. He normally looked as though someone had wronged him.

"Isabella while do no such thing. Do you not remember when she offered herself up instead of her Edward? She will return and join us simply because she wishes to stop the deaths of those innocents. Have no worry Brother." I turned to look at Marcus who had held his hand out to me. I grasped it and my smile fell from my lips.

"Yes, well Jane will have some explaining to do when she returns. It may have been many years since she was turned, but she is very much still a child. I already knew of her hatred of Isabella. She will be punished accordingly." Caius laughed hollowly at this.

"Punished? The moment she turns those eyes on you, you will melt like ice. You never could bring yourself to harm that one." I sat down in my throne and looked out over the room. No, I would not actually burn Jane. She was too important, and I must admit that I do have a fondness for her. But as I think about Isabella I am sure that I may just have a new favorite. That one would be powerful indeed, and I would make sure she was at my side for eternity.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

She was dead. I was sure of it. That damn woman, she knew that they would kill her. That was why she had refused to tell me.

When she had told me goodbye this morning I could hear it in her voice, feel it in her body and taste it in her kiss. She was saying goodbye for good. She went in there knowing what was going to happen, even though she knew that I wanted her. That I had plans.

I haven't moved since she left, I haven't even eaten a thing. I just sit here with my hands fisted tightly in my hair. Tears prickled in my eyes, but I allow my anger over what has happened to hold them back.

I was so focused on trying not to phase that I didn't notice that I was no longer alone till a small warm hand rested on my shoulder. I looked up and I swear my heart just about stopped.

"Bella…"

* * *

Author's Note: Well up a little bit later then I planned, sorry about that. I got caught up with things around the house.

Now, this is the first time I have ever written Aro, so I am hoping the bit with him came out ok. I was a little nervous writing him.

There are only two more chapters left. I will either get them both up tomorrow, or by Saturday. I may also put up "Beyond The Ice And The Fire" earlier than Monday, it will depend on if I have the time.


	26. Lachrymose

**Please read the AN at the end of this chapter, it will explain a few things.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty Five: Lachrymose

* * *

(Paul's POV)

I had to be dreaming. There was no way that Bella was standing in front of me, alive. She smiled sadly at me and leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

As her hovered over me I knew this was actually happening. In my dreams Bella would never smell like leech. I pulled back and just looked at her. She was here, she was alive, and she smelled like a God damned vampire! That bloodsucker better not have touched her!

"Paul." Her voice was soft and yet I could hear the urgent tone in it. She leaned down again and pressed her lips to mine once again. I tried to just enjoy it, but she really reeked. When she realized that I wasn't responding she pulled back with hurt written across her face.

"I'm sorry, but seriously you smell like old leech." She looked stunned for a moment before she burst out laughing.

"I forgot all about that. I'm sorry…" I cut her off with another kiss and pulled her into my lap.

"You know what, never mind. I don't care. I've been sitting here all this time thinking that you were dead. You could smell like a dead mouse and I wouldn't care." I buried my face in her neck desperately trying to cover her in my scent.

"I'm sorry you have been so worried. Everything is alright now, La Push will be safe." I lifted my head to ask her what she meant but her lips were once again on mine.

She tasted divine, so sweet. She moaned into my mouth and ground herself against me. When we pulled apart she smiled sweetly and rested her head on my shoulder. I held her tightly to me unable to really believe she was alive.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

After a few minutes of just holding each other I finally got my nerve to ask for the one thing I wanted more than anything at the moment. I lifted my head and looked straight into Paul's eyes. He smiled and I lifted a hand to cup his cheek.

"Paul, make love to me." He froze for a moment his eyes wide as he just stared at me. For one horrifying moment I thought he would refuse me. Then before I could wonder on that too long he had jumped and flipped us so he was leaning down over me with my back on the bed.

"Are you sure?" I nodded knowing that if I tried to speak it would only come out as a squeak. The smile he gave me would have lit up the darkest of rooms. He leaned down and I moaned as his lips clamped down on the part of my neck that met my shoulder. He licked and nibbled as his hands started their way down to the hem of my shirt.

My heart was racing, but as he slowly lifted my shirt I knew this was right, this was what I wanted.

* * *

I laid there holding Paul safely in my arms, just watching as he breathed in and out. In my mind I kept hearing those words he whispered in my ear. He loved me.

I allowed a few tears to drip down and land on top of his head. After a moment I leaned down and kissed his brow and pulled away. If I wanted this to work I had to hurry, Paul would stop me if he woke up.

Tears streaming down my face the entire time I grabbed a pen and paper from the dresser and wrote what I wanted to say. I quickly grabbed my clothes and threw them on and went to stand above Paul.

I just watched him for a moment and leaned down to place one last kiss on his lips.

"I know that had things been different that I could have loved you Paul. I am sorry, so sorry. Please forgive me." I stood up and quickly made my way to the hotel door knowing I had to hurry before he woke up. As I opened the door and stepped outside I took one last look at the man that could have been the best future I would have known.

Closing the door I almost gave into the morbid urge to whisper out through the hall; 'It is a far, far better thing that I have done…"

* * *

(Victoria's POV)

Jane smirked at me from the corner of the room. I had hoped to find an ally in her. Had she not wanted to see that bitch dead as much as I did? Had she not been the one to hide me from the rest of the Voltrui? Now I watch as that depraved smile spread across her lips. A little too late I realized she had used me.

"You will burn just the same as me for this. You lied to them." Pain wrecked my body as her smile only grew. I was on my hands and knees before she let up.

"I never told an untruth, only forgot to mention a few pieces of information. I am too important to Master. You on the other hand are a problem, and Master always deals with his problems accordingly." I tried to stand in order to run, but before I could even lift a hand from the stone floor she had me nose to ground in pain.

Once she released me again I knew it was over. My head lifted to see several black cloaked figures all around me. They smelled like fire and I knew that my army had already been dealt with.

"You have been sentenced by the Volturi to be torn and your body burned for the crime of risking the secret." Two large vampires stepped out from behind me and grasped my arms. I tried to struggle, but only managed to scream as piece by piece I was ripped apart. At least I won in the end, the Volturi most likely already drained the bitch.

"Start the fire and burn her, but save the head. Master has reserved the right of its disposal to the newest guard." My eyes snapped to Jane as she screeched towards the one that had spoken.

"Who?" Just as they pulled my head from my shoulders I was able to hear the response.

"Isabella Swan."

* * *

(Aro's POV)

How much longer was she planning on being? Caius chuckled beside me as I scowled out at the room.

"I told you she would run, Brother." I didn't want to believe what he said, but already it had been several hours. Did she actually believe that she could run from the Volturi?

The doors to the room burst open allowing two of my guard to enter. I could tell simply by the look of them that something had gone wrong. I motioned for them to step up to me and one by one I took their hands.

"Stubborn, stupid human." I turned to look at Caius.

"I told you she wouldn't run." As soon as I said that a third guard entered the room with the lifeless body of a brown haired girl.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

A sharp pain in my chest jolted me awake. Panic filled me and I turned to look beside me to make assure myself of Bella's safety.

I shot out of bed the moment my eyes laid upon nothing but the blankets beside me. I ran into the bathroom and even stepped outside of the room stark naked, just hoping that I would see her.

A paper sitting a top my bag caught my attention and I rushed to grab it. My hands shook, though phasing was far from my mind as I read through the letter Bella had left for me. My knees could no longer take my weight and I fell to the floor with a thud, the paper forgotten beside me as my body was wrecked with sobs.

* * *

_Paul,_

_My sweet, wonderful Paul. There is nothing in this world I want more than to follow you back to La Push, back home. I can so easily see myself with you, as your wife and your mate._

_I can see our children and I know we would be as happy as you said we would. We would live in your 'just right' house, have Sunday dinner with my dad, Emily and all our friends. You would teach our son how to play football and to fish. You would scare all the boys away from our daughter until one day she would stand up for the boy she was willing to give her heart to._

_I want all of that so badly that it hurts to do what I am about to. As long as Victoria is alive you and everyone I love is in danger. I knew when I started this that I wouldn't make it out alive. When I left to speak to the Volturi I didn't expect to return to you._

_I was surprised when Aro offered to change me in exchange for Victoria's death. I promised him that I would join him willingly. Though only because I knew it would allow me one last time with you._

_I do not regret what I am to do, only that I have not had more time with you. It warms me that you love me, and I carry your words and your love with me as I walk out these doors. I will hold it within me to the end and even after._

_Though I had once wanted the change, I know that now I could never go through with it. I could not live as your enemy, knowing that your love would turn to hate because of what I had become. I would never put either of us through that._

_Do not try to follow me, there will be no way to save me. Not even vampire venom can once I am done. Know that I have given you me, my heart and everything that I am and I do this to save you._

_I hope you are able to forgive me one day and think on me fondly, but happily._

_You are wrong you know, you have more in this world than me. There are those in La Push that need you. Emily, the twins, Billy, Sue. You are the Alpha now and they need your strength and guidance._

_I ask you for just one favor. I ask that you take care of them and my father, and yourself. Know that I am well taken care of and I will wait for you._

_Goodbye My Paul._

_Your Bella._

* * *

Author's Note: First off, DON'T KILL ME! Sorry, sorry, sorry. I know many of you were really hoping for a happy ending, but well read on and you will see why that didn't happen.

Ok, for those that have never read my stories before, I should really have warned everyone I rarely ever write a completely happy ending. Though I do normally write bittersweet endings I have had this tragic ending planned since before I even wrote the first two words of the preface.

I am a believer of what my father says; A good writer never ends a story completely happy. Evil is never completely defeated.

This story was always meant to be a tragedy and Bella was always going to kill herself.

Now as to why Bella killed herself. In reading the books I noticed the fact that Bella had a sort of martyr sendrome. She always seemed willing to sacrafice herself for those she loved. I mean that was how the first book opened up! Because of this I don't find it strange that she would willingly kill herself to save everyone she loved. Even though she could have just been changed and lived a sort of life as a vampire. She chose death for a few reasons.

First of course is the obvious which she wrote to Paul in her letter, she couldn't stand the thought that Paul would end up hating her. The other of course is that she could not see herself being changed now that Edward is gone.

Now on another note: When I started this story I had planed it to be about more than just the romance between Bella and Paul. I wanted to explore how they dealt with tragedy and how that same tragedy changed and shaped them. It wasn't but a few chapters in that I realized that the story was much more than that, that instead it being about just two peoples struggles with dealing with the aftermath of a war and loss, but how different people coped. I decided that I wanted to explore the different ways people changed. Thus the chapters of Billy, Rachel, Emily and Charlie.

This is not the very end, there is an Epilogue that should hopefully be up either late this evening, or sometime tomorrow. I hope everyone has enjoyed the story and that you will forgive me for the competely evil ending. There is a reason many of my friends call me evil and the Queen of Drama. ;)


	27. Epilogue Seventeen Years Later

Epilogue: Seventeen Years Later;

* * *

(Paul's POV)

The sound of crumpling paper filled the small room I normally slept in. I looked down at the old and yellowing letter in my hands and carefully traced a finger over the last two words. "Your Bella."

It has been seventeen years to the day since she wrote this letter, seventeen years since my reason for living died.

I couldn't tell you how long I had remained on the floor of that hotel room. My body hunched over and great sobs shaking my body. It could have been hours or it could have been days. I finally had passed out from exhaustion.

When I awoke I had searched for Bella everywhere in the vain hope that she was still alive somewhere. That I just needed to find her and help her heal once again. I stopped once I came to a few miles outside of the leech castle.

I could smell her blood everywhere. I still have trouble thinking about what she had to have done to herself to ensure that she could not be saved. All I know was when her body had been found there could not been an once of blood left in her.

For the next year I lived in a state of constant numbness. I had returned to La Push and delivered the news of Victoria's demise and Bella's sacrifice. From what I can remember Emily had to talk Charlie out of going to Italy to confront the Volturi.

That year I sold my house, I was unable to stay there after all the dreams I had of Bella and I in it together. I bought me a small apartment on the other side of the reservation, much to Emily's annoyance as she wanted me to move in with her and Charlie.

I had finally snapped out of it when a lone vampire passed through Forks. Collin and Brady still talk about how scary I was when I tore the creature apart. While it hadn't taken away the pain I had been able to use it to take out my anger.

Things eventually calmed down and everyone moved on. Most people on the Rez rarely talked about those lost almost eighteen years ago. Every now and then you would hear one of my brother's name in passing, but most just forgot them completely.

Emily gave birth to Sam's son. Nahuel Samuel Uley was the spitting image of his father, but with his mother's kindness and heart. When Nahuel was only two years old Emily and Charlie finally decided to make it legal and married in a small ceremony in their back yard. It wasn't a year later that Em announced that she was pregnant, this time with Charlie's child.

Nine months later she gave birth to a sweet baby girl with curly black hair and tan skin. Leah Bell Swan, or LeeBe, was the Princess of the wolf pack. She followed her older brother around everywhere he went, and Nahuel was known to on more than one occasion beat up anyone who even dared look at her wrong.

The twins adored her and had yet to be able to say no to her.

Billy's sanity returned, though he at times will slip up and will be caught talking to thin air as though Jake were right there beside him.

Brady imprinted three years ago, and after his new wife announced that she was having their first child a year ago he decided to stop phasing.

Collin on the other hand had yet to find his imprint and could normally be found with a new girl every couple of months. Sadly the boy was irresponsible and already had three sons and a forth on the way. All from different mothers. I know as Alpha I should order him to use protection, but I find I couldn't care less.

When Nahuel was fourteen Emily's greatest fears came true when one night he phased during a family picnic when Collin's oldest boy, Conor, wouldn't stop picking on LeeBe. Thankfully no one was hurt, though it did reveal the secret to a few more people.

I wish I could say that Nahuel phasing was a fluke, but not long after when Conor turned thirteen he phased as well. We are now looking at his two half brothers wondering if they will as well.

Charlie got a shock when one day when the Pack was over for lunch Conor imprinted on LeeBe. It took some talking to keep him from pulling his gun on the boy.

I carefully fold the letter and replace it back in the top drawer beside my bed.

I know Bella wanted me to move on, hopefully fall in love. Imprint maybe. But I find myself still along, still in love with her.

At the moment I am still Alpha, but I am awaiting the day Nahuel turns eighteen. On that day I plan to stop phasing and hand over the position of Alpha to him. I am tired and long to rejoin my Brothers and Sister. To once again be with Bella.

Until that day I shall do as she asked and care for those she loved.

* * *

Author's Notes: OMG I can't believe I have actually finished this! I am going to miss this story. It has been one of my absolute favorites. But all good things must come to an end, and I do have working on my Bella/Sam to look forward to.

I had spared a moments thought about Paul imprinting on Rachel when he returned to La Push, but I thought it would mess with the way I wanted this to end. So let's just say that Rachel was never right for Paul.

So ends our tale and begins a new one. Just so those of you that are planning on reading my Bella/Sam story, I promise you it won't be as sad as this one.


End file.
